Let me explain.
I am having the BEST WEEK EVAR!
Here's how it goes:
Sunday
At some point after 5pm (thankfully after it had finished raining), one of my clients throws some chairs at me and another client and goes AWOL.
Please note: This client is 17 and in PEAK athletic condition, and I am a chubby white chick 8 years her senior.
The client hops a fence with gazelle-like precision and takes off onto parts of campus that probably haven't seen human feet since State School was a farm. After being chased almost off of campus she is caught.
Now remember, I work for the state. This incident is going to require a great amount of paperwork. (Some of which I am still filling out.)
I am in piss poor shape and this chase takes all the energy I have left in the world. This incident also follows an incident with another client beating someone in the head which stitches. (More paperwork, and a professional decision I have to make.)
Daily Results: one (1) tired Jenny, one hundred (100) acres of rainforest killed for paperwork purposes, and several angry dorm staff
Monday
Following incident with the Olympic hurdling client, I am questioned rather mercilessly by Risk Management about the incident. I am all but accused of not properly providing client care, client neglect, and ineptitude. I apologize that I was dodging chairs which were being aimed at my head, inform them that I was right behind her when she ran. And as for why I couldn't catch her before she leapt the fence, I inform them that I am 8 years older than her and fat. End of story.
Daily Results: one(1)sore and aggravated Jenny, one (1) bruised ego, one (1) self-conscious day, and one hundred (100) more acres of rainforest razed for yet more paperwork
Tuesday
Arrive to work four hours earlier than usual to attend a ridiculously boring and unnecessary computer instruction class, given by someone who needs an actual job rather than just a snazzy office to sit in twiddling his thumbs all day. Upon leaving the building, I hear a rustling in the trees. I look up to see a squirrel. I think nothing of it. It is quite windy and squirrels are not at all an uncommon sight in the pecan trees at work. I continue walking. Seconds later, much to my surprise, the aforementioned squirrel falls out of the tree (off of a pathetic twig of a branch it's fat squirrely ass had no business being on) and onto my head (more accurately, onto my left shoulder after hitting my head). Said squirrel immediately bounces off of me and onto the sidewalk behind me where he sits, paralized, and just as confused as I am about what happened. Myself and my walking companion stop and studder and contemplate the events of the previous moment.
Daily Result: one (1) terrified and traumatized squirrel, one (1) scared and traumatized Jenny, one (1) achy shoulder (squirrels, like cats, fall with their claws out, in case you didn't know), one (1) laughing fit lasting approximately fifteen (15) minutes, and one (1) diagnosed case of Post Traumatic Squirrel Disorder
Wednesday
Thirty minues before leaving for the evening from work, a client comes to me, wanting me to document the amount of penny rolls she has (she collects pennies) so that a saff member can cash them in at the bank the following day. Upon examination of her pennies, I realize that none of the aforementioned rolls of pennies has the correct number of pennies in it. I am left to recount the pennies and reroll them.
Daily Result: $38.40 = the amount of money the client had, 3840 = the number of pennies I unrolled, counted, and rerolled properly, black = the color of my hands, 1 = the number of hours I stayed late to help the client, and one (1) case of watery eyes due to penny fumes
Thursday
Prior to having lunch with modaddy83 and suthernbelleusm I leave for work. While driving north on Interstate 59 I notice a rather cute little Mazda Miata coming up behind me to pass me. As the convertible Miata (with its top down) passes, I glance over. The man in the Miata is driving 75+ miles an hour on the Interstate with the top down on his car, wearing no clothes. Yes. He was naked.
Daily Result: one (1) scarred-for-life Jenny and one (1) 60-ish man, who had apparently forgotten to get dressed before tooling down the Interstate with the top down
I reiterate:
BEST WEEK EVAR
Here's how it goes:
Sunday
At some point after 5pm (thankfully after it had finished raining), one of my clients throws some chairs at me and another client and goes AWOL.
Please note: This client is 17 and in PEAK athletic condition, and I am a chubby white chick 8 years her senior.
The client hops a fence with gazelle-like precision and takes off onto parts of campus that probably haven't seen human feet since State School was a farm. After being chased almost off of campus she is caught.
Now remember, I work for the state. This incident is going to require a great amount of paperwork. (Some of which I am still filling out.)
I am in piss poor shape and this chase takes all the energy I have left in the world. This incident also follows an incident with another client beating someone in the head which stitches. (More paperwork, and a professional decision I have to make.)
Daily Results: one (1) tired Jenny, one hundred (100) acres of rainforest killed for paperwork purposes, and several angry dorm staff
Monday
Following incident with the Olympic hurdling client, I am questioned rather mercilessly by Risk Management about the incident. I am all but accused of not properly providing client care, client neglect, and ineptitude. I apologize that I was dodging chairs which were being aimed at my head, inform them that I was right behind her when she ran. And as for why I couldn't catch her before she leapt the fence, I inform them that I am 8 years older than her and fat. End of story.
Daily Results: one(1)sore and aggravated Jenny, one (1) bruised ego, one (1) self-conscious day, and one hundred (100) more acres of rainforest razed for yet more paperwork
Tuesday
Arrive to work four hours earlier than usual to attend a ridiculously boring and unnecessary computer instruction class, given by someone who needs an actual job rather than just a snazzy office to sit in twiddling his thumbs all day. Upon leaving the building, I hear a rustling in the trees. I look up to see a squirrel. I think nothing of it. It is quite windy and squirrels are not at all an uncommon sight in the pecan trees at work. I continue walking. Seconds later, much to my surprise, the aforementioned squirrel falls out of the tree (off of a pathetic twig of a branch it's fat squirrely ass had no business being on) and onto my head (more accurately, onto my left shoulder after hitting my head). Said squirrel immediately bounces off of me and onto the sidewalk behind me where he sits, paralized, and just as confused as I am about what happened. Myself and my walking companion stop and studder and contemplate the events of the previous moment.
Daily Result: one (1) terrified and traumatized squirrel, one (1) scared and traumatized Jenny, one (1) achy shoulder (squirrels, like cats, fall with their claws out, in case you didn't know), one (1) laughing fit lasting approximately fifteen (15) minutes, and one (1) diagnosed case of Post Traumatic Squirrel Disorder
Wednesday
Thirty minues before leaving for the evening from work, a client comes to me, wanting me to document the amount of penny rolls she has (she collects pennies) so that a saff member can cash them in at the bank the following day. Upon examination of her pennies, I realize that none of the aforementioned rolls of pennies has the correct number of pennies in it. I am left to recount the pennies and reroll them.
Daily Result: $38.40 = the amount of money the client had, 3840 = the number of pennies I unrolled, counted, and rerolled properly, black = the color of my hands, 1 = the number of hours I stayed late to help the client, and one (1) case of watery eyes due to penny fumes
Thursday
Prior to having lunch with modaddy83 and suthernbelleusm I leave for work. While driving north on Interstate 59 I notice a rather cute little Mazda Miata coming up behind me to pass me. As the convertible Miata (with its top down) passes, I glance over. The man in the Miata is driving 75+ miles an hour on the Interstate with the top down on his car, wearing no clothes. Yes. He was naked.
Daily Result: one (1) scarred-for-life Jenny and one (1) 60-ish man, who had apparently forgotten to get dressed before tooling down the Interstate with the top down
I reiterate:
BEST WEEK EVAR