Taken from khyrste: the deer and the embryo
we're out under the stars tonight, in a medow cupped by the dark wood. its the middle of summer and the fireflies look like magic dust floating in the wind glittering in the moonlight which shines in abundance tonight for its a full moon. even the gods could not have planned this night better. a warm breath of wind and not a single cloud in the sky, im glad this will be my last memory here. i look over at the embryo, hes crooning softly to the deer that arent far off. when he notices that im watching him he looks at me. looks at my face, my eyes and smiles crookedly.
"shall we go over to them?"
"of course," i pause, unable to decide whether to state the obvious. "its our last night here."
he rises slowly from his crouching position and together we walk delicately towards the deer. they turn towards us with a mild intrest but make no move to flee as if they too can sense whats in the air. a satisfaction mingled with saddness, guilt, wonder and excitement. there are five deer in the medow with us. a stag, two does and two fawns. we stop a few feet away from the closet deer, one of the does. i extend my hand in a manner so as to not frighten her, closing the distance as though my hand were growing like a plant from my body. once my hand has stopped moving for a while, she reaches her nose towards it, sniffing gently. the embryo and i can see her dark eyes glitter in the white light. her eyes are soft and round, and look as though they hold the world in them they have such understanding within. she nuzzles my hand with her wet nose. i hear the embryo draw in a breath. i can tell hes tense.
i murmur softly, "its ok, just relax." i cant tell who im talking to: the deer, the embryo, or myself, but whoever it was ment for, all understand it and we relax. i take a half step closer to the doe and stroke her coarse, smooth coat. i cant help but smile, it feels like a dream. slowly the other doe walks over to the embryo. apparently she is as jealous of her friends attention as my friend is. they quicky move through the initative process and we, the embryo and i, both start to laugh. our laughter frightens the fawns, who have been staying aloof with the stag, though, while he stays passive curisoity gets the better of the two babies and they inch their way forwards towards their respective mothers.
as the fawn of the embroys deer comes closer, the embryo turns to me with a troubled expression. as im forming a question i feel something bash into my leg which almost knocks me over. i catch myself and look around surprised. the fawn of my deer backs behind her mother shyly. i laugh and sit on the grass so that we are on the same level. as she crawls into my lap i turn my attention back onto the embryo for he is still looking at the boy-fawn with concern.
i look at him intently until he says: "this one has a wounded eye."
i glance at the boy-fawn and see him looking up at the embryo with his right eye facing the tall figure and the left one facing the ground. the embryo, aware of his impolitness, joins me on the ground and beckons the boy-fawn over to him who, in return, creeps over self consciously.
"you seem to have made him abashed."
"oh come on! im being serious! look at his eye."
i lean over to have a closer look. the embryo is right, there is a gash that crosses over the boy-fawn's right eye. his eye is a glassy grey color, no longer matching his other dark, soft eye. the wound is perhaps a day or two old. it's no longer bleeding and there is a thick puss oozing out from the sore. dried dirt and blood form a crusted cradle beneath the damaged orb.
"he's infected." a pause, before the embryo continues he shakes his head in empathy "but, he'll be fine. he'll grow up strong and learn how to survive." the boy-fawn walks over to him and nuzzles his hand seeking attention.
i nod in agreement because i know theres nothing else to do. i know he's right, too. his deformation will make him stronger if he can learn how to overcome it.
my deer friend rubs her forhead on my back bringing me out of my thoughts.
"shall we ride them?" the embryo laughs.
"thats why we came out here, isnt it?"
i nudge the girl-fawn awake. its late and shes fallen asleep in my lap under the starry sky with the glowing orbed moon and the magic fireflies. as she streatches her sleepy limbs a warm breeze blows and rustles the long grass. the stag eyes us with quite disregard as the embryo stands and turns towards his deer friend and takes a deep, formal bow. she searches his face and after a moment repeats the gesture. as she kneels on her front two legs the stag intervenes and knees before the embryo. i smile with amusement. as the embryo climbs onto the back of the stag. then i face my friend and ask her in the same manner if i too am allowed a ride at midnight.
once settled, we spring off on a ride like no other. clinging tightly with arms and legs so as not to fall off, we bound over the wide open medow bathed in wonder. laughing, i can feel the strength in the body of the doe beneath me working hard to support the extra weight. surefooted and sturdy on fine but nonetheless stong legs we bound through the lake of grass and with the wind drying presperation as it apears on our bodies. the doe and i find the same movement, and soon the rythm unites us into a being of oneness, inseperateable and necessary for continuation. the stag and the embryo, ahead, are one as well and the other deer trail beind, sprint ahead, and entertwine themselves amongst us so we are one moving body running gleefully through the night. the last night.
if its been hours or merely minutes i cannot tell, but the herd is tired so the embryo and i break off from the group back into our individual selves. the deer wander off towards a nearby pond for a drink and leave us in human isolation.
"well?" we both laugh. "was it like you imagined?"
"better." the embryo surveyed the our surroundings again. "what about you?"
"im glad this is how we could spend the last night here."
"me too," he said looking downwards with a hint of regret in his voice.
i felt the same tinge of regret, but i knew that there was no other way i wanted to spend my time here than how i was doing so. i laid down in the grass, pushing it down so as to make myself a nest. the embryo walked around so that he was standing near the top of my head, then he too laid down so that his head was beside mine and our feet were going opposite directions.
together we gazed at the night sky. there were no city lights around so the stars were vibrant and numerous, sparkling with the inflections in the atmosphere. watching the heavens, waiting.
"look, a shooting star." i pointed as it streaked across the sky.
"just one though. one star is good for one wish, you take it."
i thought for a while, finding the perfect wish for tonight. then wished with every fiber of my being, for that is how wishes are made.
"ok, i made it." i stopped for a second before adding, " can i tell you?" i looked at him slyly.
"you arent supposed to tell..." he drifted off, but i knew he was curious so i decided to go ahead.
"dont worry. maybe the gods wont hear." we laughed, before i spoke again i waited until we he was serious again. "i wishes to find your thread easily and sooner next time."
"next time?"
"of course, don't be silly."
we lay in contented silence, watching clouds gather at the edge of the medow. the wind picked up and the temperature began to drop slowly. we could feel the moisture in the air increase as a summer storm drew near.
"we're running out of time. running out of time for our last night on earth."
"i know. does it make you sad?"
the embryo turned his head towards me, "a little."
"me too, but i trust i can find your thread in the web again. since i know what it feels like perhaps it wont be so difficult."
he smiled at me, "i trust you. 'you can do anything you set your mind to,' thats what you always tell me."
"because its true! come on, lets go to the pond."
we stand up and walk over to the pond, savoring each others company before we are seperated. i look around for our deer friends, but they have left. gone back to the woods where they belong.
the moon is in the water with the stars and the gathering clouds. i look at my reflection, at my purple-tinted skin; maybe it's the light? i cant see my ears, but im sure they are pointed; they have to be on a night like this. the wind blows and ruins the image. a drop sends a new set of ripples through the water. than another. soon the summer shower is upon is and we are both soaked in the warm rain.
"its wonderful," and the embryo laughs at me.
i start running. around the pond, arond the field, anywhere. i want to use the energy in my body one last time. feel my heart ponding with life running through my veins and the burn of muscles as they begin to tire. its my last night to feel alive.
i look at the embryo and wonder if all that is good and beautiful will leave this world when he departs. i look up at the sky again, nothing. when i turn back to him, i see the old man standing there, bleek and lifless. in that moment i know that the world will be a void without him. a glitter of movement catches my eye in the heavens as a star falls. and i turn to face my fate.