(Untitled)
[Continued from here]
Her hand squeezed mine and I pulled her a little closer to me. I knew that she needed comfort, and I'd do my best to give it to her. Although, I also knew where that comfort might lead, and that wasn't fair to either of us.
"I don't know, I haven't really spoken to her since the funeral. She's dealing with this better ( Read more... )
Her hand squeezed mine and I pulled her a little closer to me. I knew that she needed comfort, and I'd do my best to give it to her. Although, I also knew where that comfort might lead, and that wasn't fair to either of us.
"I don't know, I haven't really spoken to her since the funeral. She's dealing with this better ( Read more... )
I gave him a smile, leave it to him to make this easy. I nodded my head as I felt him come closer. I closed my eyes as our lips touched. It was soft, warm and I didn't want him to stopped. It felt so normal, like this is what was supposed to happen. It was heated with passion and as he pulled away I wanted him more.
I knew that after all we been through this whole year things weren't going to be easy. This had to be the most confusing part of the whole thing. I really wanted to be with him more but given our situation it made things a little more complex. I gazed at his eyes and tried to think of something to say that would make things less awkward.
"I-I'm sorry,"
I paused as I realized that didn't make it that much easier. None of this was fair, if it were a different time, a different place. There were too many 'ifs' in my head and I started to feel a headache come on. I put my hand back down to his,
"I know what you're thinking and I'm thinking it too. I know we said we'd live our separate lives...."
I stopped as I looked back out into the cemetery, I didn't want to have this conversation over again. It brought up bad memories, memories I wasn't even fond of. I wanted things to be normal between us but then again what has ever been normal. I quickly looked back up at him,
"I need- I want you here with me. I don't know what all of this means but having you hear..It-it'd mean a lot to me."
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I shook my head at her. "Don't be."
"I know what you're thinking and I'm thinking it too. I know we said we'd live our separate lives...."
When she placed her hand on mine again, I held it in my hand. She was right. I had thought about this before kissing her, before even coming to Sunnydale to see her.
"I know, Buffy. I've thought about that plenty since I got here."
She looked away and I squeezed her hand, sighing. Things between us were never easy like they had been right at first. Even then they weren't exactly easy either.
"I need- I want you here with me. I don't know what all of this means but having you hear..It-it'd mean a lot to me."
As I listened to her I nodded again and smiled just a little. Though I wasn't exactly sure how this was all going to work out, I decided that it was a good idea to stay for a while and maybe not just to help her with things around the town or at home.
"I'll stay as long as you want me to, Buffy. And I don't exactly understand it all either. Maybe we don't have to right now."
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Lightin' a smoke, I headed the same direction and then stopped in my tracks. They were still there, makin' with the cozy like some lovers. Rollin' my eyes at that, I was about to turn around and then decided to go over there anyway. Joyce was my friend, always had a cuppa for me and all that rot. Talked alot to her, about my Dru and about her selfish bint of a daughter.
Came up, lookin' at Angel and then glanced at Buffy. I heard what they were talkin' about and now that Angel is probably stayin' here, I know what that means. Spike can't come around anymore, not that I've been allowed for awhile now, but still, doesn't hurt to dream about it or some rot.
"Didn't come here to bother you, just payin' my respects is all, carry on with your lovefest," I said sarcastically then stood to the side, lookin' at the headstone. What a shame.
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Squeezing her hand, I frowned and looked around. Vampires, now? Wouldn't that be just great. Just as I was about to mention something to her about leaving again before we were found and we'd have to start fighting - which she just didn't need right now - I saw someone walk towards us and the grave.
Was that..no, it couldn't be. Staring at the figure, I felt my jaw tighten and muscles get tense. Spike. Spike. Why in the hell was he here in Sunnydale? I thought that after our nice 'run in' a while back in L.A. I'd seen the last of him for a long time.
Guess not.
Sitting up slightly, I watched him come closer and closer. It was obvious that he knew we were both sitting here, yet he still came. Uh, there's a slayer and pissed off vampire sitting here watching you walk over.
I looked down at Buffy and watched her expression. Had she even seen him coming over here? Frowning, I cleared my throat.
"Um, Buffy, what's-"
"Didn't come here to bother you, just payin' my respects is all, carry on with your lovefest."
Sitting up more, I now stood and put myself in front of Buffy. He what? Respects? What the hell was going on?
"What-.." I couldn't speak a coherent thought. I looked between Buffy and Spike, then glared back at Spike. "What are you doing here?"
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Snortin', I turned around, lookin' at Angel and then at Buffy that was still sittin' there. Women. "Right then. Joyce and I were pals, buddies, in fact, she liked me where as, she hated you with a bloody passion mate," I said with a smile on my face.
Anything to get to him. Takin' another drag of my smoke, I turned back around and looked down at the headstone. Typical they'd have the funeral durin' the day. That's how it always is, but I know if it had been at night, I woulda been there, no matter what Harris or Buffy said. Wankers.
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Besides, why did he care anyway? Saying that the last time I saw him he had just finished poking at me with blunt instruments. I glared harder at him at his smile. I hated to admit it, but he knew just what pushed my buttons, and there was a big one being pushed right now with him just being here.
I glanced back at Buffy who was still on the ground. She looked angry, yes, but didn't have the same look of shock that I was feeling. It was almost like she knew he might come.
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Turnin' around, I nodded at Buffy who was still sittin' there, then looked at Forehead. "Well, it's been a pleasure and all that rot, but I must get goin'." Soap Network was havin' a rerun of Passions, couldn't miss it and I said all I needed to say.
Saluted the Poof and looked down at Buffy, "Ta," I muttered absentmindedly before turnin' back around and headin' to my crypt.
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I tried not to say anything, given the situation there really wasn't much to say anyways. I knew Angel would have many question sprawled up in his head, possibly even conclusions to things I didn't even know. With everything that has happened and possibly even will happen I had to bite my tongue. I didn't know if I was mad at Spike or grateful that he even cared. Of course his attitude showed my different but there was something there that told me he actually did come to pay his respects.
I shrugged it off quickly as he and Angel exchanged not so pleasant looks followed by a few words here and there. I didn't know what I should do, calm them both down or just let Spike go. If he was telling the truth he was her for mom and not me, or it could be what I expected and he was just here for me. As I watched him turn around I stood up quickly,
"-Spike.." I paused as I watched him stopped. I looked at Angel before turning back to Spike, "Thank you...."
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I heard my name and furrowed my brows as I turned around, seein' her standin' there, not sure of what she should say. Personally, I'm thinkin' this would be interestin', whatever it may be. Didn't expect her to say what she said next, Thank you....
What was I to say to that, never really heard her say thank you to anyone, let alone me. 'Sides, wasn't for her, was for her mum. Shruggin' my shoulders, I nodded at her, forgettin' that the Poof was even there, didn't so much as exist to me right now, just me an' her.
Turnin' around, I fished out a fag from my pocket quickly, lightin' it up after I tossed the other one. Wanted to be there for her an' hold her like he was doin', but I knew I couldn't.
When I got to my crypt, I threw the door open, then slammed it and plopped down in my chair. Didn't even watch tv, all I could see was her, all around, lookin' at me, sayin' thank you.
'Bout bloody time.
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