SEGALMAS
i dont understand santa clause. i mean think about it
whats santa clause
hes
1 a fat guy old man
2 he lives at the north pole
3 he imploys slave labor
4 endorses animal creulty
5 works 1 night out of the year
6 chain smokes
7 is an admitted alcohalic
8 womanizes
9 trespases
10 runs over old ladies
11 takes pictures with children on his lap
12 juges the behavior of people
13 defys the laws of physics
14 watchs people sleep
15 gives carsinagenics as gifts ( coal )
16 other gifts he brings are made in china
17 has a magic " sack"
18 has a unkept beard
19 has been around for hundreds of years
20 he wears a pimp suit
twenty reasons why santa sucks
i think steven segal should take his place reasons why
1 hes steven segal
2 .. hes steven segal
3 wears black leather every day
4 hes bad ass
5 segal is budhist
6 thinks jesus was a bitch , segal wouldnt have died on no pussy cross
7 if your bad, gives you pictures of him jerking off to churck norris jerking off to picture of chuck norris getting his ass kicked.. BY STEVEN SEGAL then breaks your neck
8 if your good.. he still breaks your neck
9 his seigh which is a semi truck will be pulled by chuck norris , jackie chan, bruce lee and other " great " martial artsts of their time
10 segal hates children
11segals been in more movies then santa
12 theres 5 segal films for every year santas been alive
13 segal doesnt chain smoke.. he chain beaks your neck
14 segal knows when youve been bad or good.. cause hes segal
15 he doesnt defy the laws of physics.. they defy him
there you go 20 reasons to hate santa and 15 reasons why segal should take his place as santa segal
more to come