I joined the club.
There are good days, and then there are bad days, then there are days that you finally can't fight off that stomach virus that everyone and their mother has gotten sometime in the last two weeks. Those days are just downright shitty. So yesterday started off really well for about half an hour, then turned pretty bad for most of the day. I've been sick far worse than that, but this was the first time in a long time that my energy was sapped so hard. On the plus side, I got all the way to the Mt. Ordeals section in Final Fantasy 2 (or 4 for the newbs that don't remember the glory days of the SNES). I also got to fall asleep listening to music, something I haven't done in far too long.
Franks pulled a double shift Sunday night, so I barely saw him yesterday before he went right back to work and spent most of the day alone. The only really social time I had was when we became tornado alley again and I was trying to make calls and check on people. Then I got a surprise visit when I was hoping for it the most and yet least expecting it. I've had people bring me soda or soup or something when I was sick before, but no one has ever done this well. Laura bought me The Goonies. THE FUCKING GOONIES!!! Why the hell I didn't already own this movie I'm not sure, it's one of the best fucking films evar. I spent so much time in high school working on my Sloth voice that students who didn't know me probably thought I was one of the special ed. kids. I really want to watch it today, but I think I'm going to wait it out so she can watch it with me. Thanks again, Laura. 8 )
So that took my day from pretty miserable to totally fucking awesome to the core. Thus I come to the point of this entry. I have a lot of days that start out well and go crashing to Hell, and I have others that start out with me not wanting to ever get out of bed again and turning out completely ape-shit awesome. I know ape shit may not sound cool to some of you guys, but I really, really like monkeys and poo flinging jokes were the standard back with the Cliff crew. Anyway, the point is I reallized that I, like many others, tend to dwell more on the bad shit that happens. I'm not sure why. I know some people are masochists or goth and that's the way their lives are or whatever, but I've always kind of noticed that it's almost human nature to dwell on bad things that happen while the good things are reminisced upon all too seldom. I want to change that in my life.
I think too much. I overanalyze things. I try to figure out solutions to every fucking problem I hear about when about 3 times out of 4 there is no readily available solution and the situation is one that must resolve itself. I spend entire days worrying about trivial events. I freak out for like twenty minutes when I run a red light or accidently cut someone off in traffic. Imagine how bad I feel about shit that actually has an impact on my life. It's bizzare. I want it to stop, and I'm going to stop it because no one else can do it for me. I'm not going to dwell on the bad stuff any more. If it merits attention I'll give it its due, but from now on I want to dwell on the good things that happen. I'm not going to worry about that red light I ran, or that finger that got thrown at me and I sincerely apologized for a hundred times over when the person couldn't hear me anyway. I'm going to dwell on last night when Laura slipped into my apartment, set a Sprite on my desk and then handed me The Goonies. I'm going to dwell on thinking I wouldn't get the WoW board game in time for Xmas, and then tripping over it the next morning as I stumbled over to a seat in my parents' family room. I'm going to dwell on the fact that I have friends that would lay down in rush hour traffic for me at the drop of a hat.
I have far too many great things going for me in my life to worry about the little things that A) aren't really a problem and B) I can't do anything about other than think about them too much. My friends generally think I'm too optimistic, nice, whatever. I'm not. Not on the inside anyway. I used to be, and I want to be like that again. I used to be able to block out all the stupid little shit in my life and help other people realize what good they had going for them. I want to be like that again. I'm going to be.
I don't know how long I've got, I could go any day. I've known this since I was six years old. I'm not going to waste what time I have left worrying about everything like I did when I was growing up. From now on I will be better about helping people, and I won't let the little things that have been bothering me hinder me in that effort.
I also will not let my neighbors anywhere near my penis that they don't want in the first place. Josh can have 'em.
Franks pulled a double shift Sunday night, so I barely saw him yesterday before he went right back to work and spent most of the day alone. The only really social time I had was when we became tornado alley again and I was trying to make calls and check on people. Then I got a surprise visit when I was hoping for it the most and yet least expecting it. I've had people bring me soda or soup or something when I was sick before, but no one has ever done this well. Laura bought me The Goonies. THE FUCKING GOONIES!!! Why the hell I didn't already own this movie I'm not sure, it's one of the best fucking films evar. I spent so much time in high school working on my Sloth voice that students who didn't know me probably thought I was one of the special ed. kids. I really want to watch it today, but I think I'm going to wait it out so she can watch it with me. Thanks again, Laura. 8 )
So that took my day from pretty miserable to totally fucking awesome to the core. Thus I come to the point of this entry. I have a lot of days that start out well and go crashing to Hell, and I have others that start out with me not wanting to ever get out of bed again and turning out completely ape-shit awesome. I know ape shit may not sound cool to some of you guys, but I really, really like monkeys and poo flinging jokes were the standard back with the Cliff crew. Anyway, the point is I reallized that I, like many others, tend to dwell more on the bad shit that happens. I'm not sure why. I know some people are masochists or goth and that's the way their lives are or whatever, but I've always kind of noticed that it's almost human nature to dwell on bad things that happen while the good things are reminisced upon all too seldom. I want to change that in my life.
I think too much. I overanalyze things. I try to figure out solutions to every fucking problem I hear about when about 3 times out of 4 there is no readily available solution and the situation is one that must resolve itself. I spend entire days worrying about trivial events. I freak out for like twenty minutes when I run a red light or accidently cut someone off in traffic. Imagine how bad I feel about shit that actually has an impact on my life. It's bizzare. I want it to stop, and I'm going to stop it because no one else can do it for me. I'm not going to dwell on the bad stuff any more. If it merits attention I'll give it its due, but from now on I want to dwell on the good things that happen. I'm not going to worry about that red light I ran, or that finger that got thrown at me and I sincerely apologized for a hundred times over when the person couldn't hear me anyway. I'm going to dwell on last night when Laura slipped into my apartment, set a Sprite on my desk and then handed me The Goonies. I'm going to dwell on thinking I wouldn't get the WoW board game in time for Xmas, and then tripping over it the next morning as I stumbled over to a seat in my parents' family room. I'm going to dwell on the fact that I have friends that would lay down in rush hour traffic for me at the drop of a hat.
I have far too many great things going for me in my life to worry about the little things that A) aren't really a problem and B) I can't do anything about other than think about them too much. My friends generally think I'm too optimistic, nice, whatever. I'm not. Not on the inside anyway. I used to be, and I want to be like that again. I used to be able to block out all the stupid little shit in my life and help other people realize what good they had going for them. I want to be like that again. I'm going to be.
I don't know how long I've got, I could go any day. I've known this since I was six years old. I'm not going to waste what time I have left worrying about everything like I did when I was growing up. From now on I will be better about helping people, and I won't let the little things that have been bothering me hinder me in that effort.
I also will not let my neighbors anywhere near my penis that they don't want in the first place. Josh can have 'em.