Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
<-- Icon used because of LOUIS STEVENS being a main character in this movie. : p
As for the movie:
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
I mean. The movie... just... I want to forget I ever saw it.
Remember back when Star Wars episodes 1 - 3 came out? All these Star Wars nerds were sooooo horrified at midichlorians and just episodes 1 - 3 in general. I was always like... "Whatever," you know?
But now I know how they feel. NOW I KNOW HOW THEY FEEL. I just... if this was the only movie in the series, I would just be like "whatever" and then move on. But... it's not like that. We have this whole legacy of the previous movies. And okay, Temple of Doom sucked, but at least it didn't have aliens. And... it's like... IN MY HEAD, INDIANA JONES & THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL IS NOT CANON. IT'S JUST NOT.
I do like Mutt. I really do. I mean.... SHIAAAAAAAAAAA.
But uh... but other than that? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Why must you be made of fail?! Why must you ruin the Indiana Jones mythos for me?! Never mind the terrible plotting and sloppy characterization and poorly done relationships and the crappy MacGuffin and the obscenely careless use of New World archaeology... WHHHHY MUST YOU INTRODUCE EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL ALIEN ARCHAEOLOGISTS (who, by the way, destroy everything they've carefully collected at the end of the movie because they want to make a Very Dramatic Exit).
I mean I knew the aliens were the plot. I knew it because I spoiled myself on purpose to lower my expectations. And yet not even my prior knowledge could soften the blow of how horrible that was. I mean, okay, okay, there were parts earlier in the movie where I was like, "Okay, this is kinda fun." And there were elements here and there that I liked. But the whole ending sequence at Akator really just gave me only a bad taste in my mouth.
AND THEN ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT, THERE ARE THE ACTION SCENES. THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE ACTION SCENES:
EXCEPT THE ACTION SCENES IN INDIANA JONES WERE EVEN SILLIER THAN THAT, BUT THEY WANTED YOU TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. TRUE STORY. Indiana Jones has always relied on improbable coincidences, but this was just... to say that the amount of Improbable Coincidences was extreme is the understatement of the century.
So basically I wish I'd seen Iron Man again instead.
As for the movie:
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
I mean. The movie... just... I want to forget I ever saw it.
Remember back when Star Wars episodes 1 - 3 came out? All these Star Wars nerds were sooooo horrified at midichlorians and just episodes 1 - 3 in general. I was always like... "Whatever," you know?
But now I know how they feel. NOW I KNOW HOW THEY FEEL. I just... if this was the only movie in the series, I would just be like "whatever" and then move on. But... it's not like that. We have this whole legacy of the previous movies. And okay, Temple of Doom sucked, but at least it didn't have aliens. And... it's like... IN MY HEAD, INDIANA JONES & THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL IS NOT CANON. IT'S JUST NOT.
I do like Mutt. I really do. I mean.... SHIAAAAAAAAAAA.
But uh... but other than that? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Why must you be made of fail?! Why must you ruin the Indiana Jones mythos for me?! Never mind the terrible plotting and sloppy characterization and poorly done relationships and the crappy MacGuffin and the obscenely careless use of New World archaeology... WHHHHY MUST YOU INTRODUCE EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL ALIEN ARCHAEOLOGISTS (who, by the way, destroy everything they've carefully collected at the end of the movie because they want to make a Very Dramatic Exit).
I mean I knew the aliens were the plot. I knew it because I spoiled myself on purpose to lower my expectations. And yet not even my prior knowledge could soften the blow of how horrible that was. I mean, okay, okay, there were parts earlier in the movie where I was like, "Okay, this is kinda fun." And there were elements here and there that I liked. But the whole ending sequence at Akator really just gave me only a bad taste in my mouth.
AND THEN ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT, THERE ARE THE ACTION SCENES. THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE ACTION SCENES:
EXCEPT THE ACTION SCENES IN INDIANA JONES WERE EVEN SILLIER THAN THAT, BUT THEY WANTED YOU TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. TRUE STORY. Indiana Jones has always relied on improbable coincidences, but this was just... to say that the amount of Improbable Coincidences was extreme is the understatement of the century.
So basically I wish I'd seen Iron Man again instead.