lost and forgotten
Things have been so hectic...I haven't been keeping my livejournal updated. Oh and there is soo much going on...both good and bad.
Don't you love it when you're suddenly not good enough for one of your friends? Ha...or a couple of your friends? Maybe I was never good enough.
You may not realize it but we're falling back into our old pattern in a new way. Things are different aren't they? Don't deny it. I'm invisible. But if it's at all possible it may be worse than before. Because you see...I know I can survive without you. It may even be better. Because who needs that pain? Who needs the constant rejection and meaningless promises? Or maybe I do need it on some deeper level and that's what's killing me. The decision of whether or not I should let go. If I did it seems a part of me would be missing. Everybody I know and used to know makes up some piece of me and already I have lost so many of those pieces. But it seems something more may be missing. Something that's threaded into my very soul. I haven't decided what to do yet. I wish you would give me some sign. Do I exist?
Don't you love it when you're suddenly not good enough for one of your friends? Ha...or a couple of your friends? Maybe I was never good enough.
You may not realize it but we're falling back into our old pattern in a new way. Things are different aren't they? Don't deny it. I'm invisible. But if it's at all possible it may be worse than before. Because you see...I know I can survive without you. It may even be better. Because who needs that pain? Who needs the constant rejection and meaningless promises? Or maybe I do need it on some deeper level and that's what's killing me. The decision of whether or not I should let go. If I did it seems a part of me would be missing. Everybody I know and used to know makes up some piece of me and already I have lost so many of those pieces. But it seems something more may be missing. Something that's threaded into my very soul. I haven't decided what to do yet. I wish you would give me some sign. Do I exist?