Fic! Another Effin Christmas Tale!
Title: David trys to put up Christmas lights
Author: wolviesbabe89
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing...i sware!
Summery: David is a bit stressed, and Michael isnt helping.....
“Awh God damn it.” David muttered as he stomped back into the house, slamming the door behind him, making Michael jump on the couch. “Son of a bitch.” David mumbled as he pulled off his gloves and tore off his coat. His cheeks were turning rosy from being in the cold so long, and he had long lost all feeling in his nose.
“Something wrong honey?” Michael asked in a sing-song voice before turning back to the TV.
“Yeah, I go up on the roof, put all the Christmas lights up, plug them in ,and none of them work! I spent two hours, freezing my balls off, and it was all for nothing!”
“Ah, so the lights don’t work, just wrap some flashlights in some bungee chord and duct tape them to the gutters.” Michael said before popping a piece of popcorn in his mouth.
David stared at him, “I am not using flashlights as Christmas lights.”
Michael rolled his eyes, “Oh well excuse me your majesty, didn’t relies you were too good for homemade Christmas lights.”
“Okay, I’m going to Lowes, and I’m getting lights.” David said as he pulled his coat back on, “I’ll be back.”
“Waite!” Michael called as he turned off the tv, “I’m coming with you, I want those chili pepper lights, and some free paint samples.” Michael said as he stood up and grabbed his coat.
David looked to him, “We are NOT putting chili pepper lights on our house!”
“Not for the roof, how classless do you think I am? I want them for the kitchen.” He said as he slipped on his jacket.
David walked out of the house with out a word. They came back an hour later. David stormed into the house, bags in hand.
“I can’t believe you got them.” David muttered.
“Oh you’ll love’em, you know you will.” Michael said as he pulled his box of chili pepper lights out of his bag.
“Great, great, just great, now our house is going to look like some crappy frat house after a toga party!” David snapped as he went over to the tool box that he had sitting on the dining room table, “Yeah, my mom is going to love that!”
“Oh she loves me,” Michael said as he flopped back down on the couch, “You just need to calm down, enjoy the Christmas season, watch some Rudolf, A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 31st Street.-”
“34th street.”
“What?”
“It’s Miracle on 34th street.” David said.
“Whatever just stop being such a Grinch!” Michael said as he sprawled on the couch.
“Okay, I’m just going to grab some more staples for my staple gun, put the lights up, throw the old ones out, then I’m taking a nap before I lose my hands to frost bite-” David said as he flipped open his tool box, “Oh, What. The Fuck is this?”
“What?”
“Where are all my tools?” David shouted.
“Wha-”
“Walnuts! My Tool box is filled with walnuts!”
“What?” Michael said as he sat up.
David grabbed a handful of nuts and showed them to Michael, “What the fuck is this? How the fuck did these get in here? “
Michael’s eyes shifted, “uh, I don’t- maybe a chipmunk?”
“A Chipmunk? A chipmunk opened up my tool box, took out all the tools and filled it with walnuts?”
Michael cleared his throat, “Well, then I guess a squirrel? Or maybe a raccoon, those things are smart!”
“Mike, what did you do with my tools?”
“I didn’t-”
“Mike!” David growled.
“Well -”
“Where did you put my tools?” David asked, breathing deeply, eyes closed, trying to calm himself down.
“Uhh, I dunno.” Mike said as he scrunched down in his seat.
“Mike! What did you do with them?”
Michael sighed and went over to the Christmas tree, and pointed to a section of hanging, glittery, bedazzled hammers, screwdrivers, wrenches and a sparkly tape measurer.
“I got bored when you were on the roof.” Michael said quickly.
David’s eyes went wide, he didn’t say anything for a moment, he then dropped his hand full of walnuts and walked away, “I’m going to bed.”
“I love you!” Michael called after him. Michael looked back to the tree, “It was worth it.” He said to himself as he went back to the couch.
****************************
HAppy Holidays everybody!
Comments=love
Pandas are awesome
Dinosaurs are cool
I like turtles.
.
Author: wolviesbabe89
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing...i sware!
Summery: David is a bit stressed, and Michael isnt helping.....
“Awh God damn it.” David muttered as he stomped back into the house, slamming the door behind him, making Michael jump on the couch. “Son of a bitch.” David mumbled as he pulled off his gloves and tore off his coat. His cheeks were turning rosy from being in the cold so long, and he had long lost all feeling in his nose.
“Something wrong honey?” Michael asked in a sing-song voice before turning back to the TV.
“Yeah, I go up on the roof, put all the Christmas lights up, plug them in ,and none of them work! I spent two hours, freezing my balls off, and it was all for nothing!”
“Ah, so the lights don’t work, just wrap some flashlights in some bungee chord and duct tape them to the gutters.” Michael said before popping a piece of popcorn in his mouth.
David stared at him, “I am not using flashlights as Christmas lights.”
Michael rolled his eyes, “Oh well excuse me your majesty, didn’t relies you were too good for homemade Christmas lights.”
“Okay, I’m going to Lowes, and I’m getting lights.” David said as he pulled his coat back on, “I’ll be back.”
“Waite!” Michael called as he turned off the tv, “I’m coming with you, I want those chili pepper lights, and some free paint samples.” Michael said as he stood up and grabbed his coat.
David looked to him, “We are NOT putting chili pepper lights on our house!”
“Not for the roof, how classless do you think I am? I want them for the kitchen.” He said as he slipped on his jacket.
David walked out of the house with out a word. They came back an hour later. David stormed into the house, bags in hand.
“I can’t believe you got them.” David muttered.
“Oh you’ll love’em, you know you will.” Michael said as he pulled his box of chili pepper lights out of his bag.
“Great, great, just great, now our house is going to look like some crappy frat house after a toga party!” David snapped as he went over to the tool box that he had sitting on the dining room table, “Yeah, my mom is going to love that!”
“Oh she loves me,” Michael said as he flopped back down on the couch, “You just need to calm down, enjoy the Christmas season, watch some Rudolf, A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 31st Street.-”
“34th street.”
“What?”
“It’s Miracle on 34th street.” David said.
“Whatever just stop being such a Grinch!” Michael said as he sprawled on the couch.
“Okay, I’m just going to grab some more staples for my staple gun, put the lights up, throw the old ones out, then I’m taking a nap before I lose my hands to frost bite-” David said as he flipped open his tool box, “Oh, What. The Fuck is this?”
“What?”
“Where are all my tools?” David shouted.
“Wha-”
“Walnuts! My Tool box is filled with walnuts!”
“What?” Michael said as he sat up.
David grabbed a handful of nuts and showed them to Michael, “What the fuck is this? How the fuck did these get in here? “
Michael’s eyes shifted, “uh, I don’t- maybe a chipmunk?”
“A Chipmunk? A chipmunk opened up my tool box, took out all the tools and filled it with walnuts?”
Michael cleared his throat, “Well, then I guess a squirrel? Or maybe a raccoon, those things are smart!”
“Mike, what did you do with my tools?”
“I didn’t-”
“Mike!” David growled.
“Well -”
“Where did you put my tools?” David asked, breathing deeply, eyes closed, trying to calm himself down.
“Uhh, I dunno.” Mike said as he scrunched down in his seat.
“Mike! What did you do with them?”
Michael sighed and went over to the Christmas tree, and pointed to a section of hanging, glittery, bedazzled hammers, screwdrivers, wrenches and a sparkly tape measurer.
“I got bored when you were on the roof.” Michael said quickly.
David’s eyes went wide, he didn’t say anything for a moment, he then dropped his hand full of walnuts and walked away, “I’m going to bed.”
“I love you!” Michael called after him. Michael looked back to the tree, “It was worth it.” He said to himself as he went back to the couch.
****************************
HAppy Holidays everybody!
Comments=love
Pandas are awesome
Dinosaurs are cool
I like turtles.
.