(no subject)
I feel like shit.
I swore I'd never be one of those life-hating people ever again since my little emo phase years ago, But I fucking HATE the way my life is going right now. I'm so fucking bored. I dont do anything anymore. Even when I go out nothing is the same.
I'm just so frustrated.
2 years ago, I was fucking having the time of my life.
I dont want to get old and feel like I missed out on so many things because I had a kid and then have a crazy mid life crisis. I need to stop trying to find satisfaction in other people. I do it all the time and its stupid and immature.
i am the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing
always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into
the background. Just like the Chesire cat, someday I will suddenly
leave, but the artifical warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish
curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villians in
Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl
you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic
in the park, the one who looks to very vibrant and you look at the
picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I
will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union.
Because with everyday that goes by, I feel myself becoming more
and more invisible, getting covered over more thickly and darkness,
coats and coats of darkness that are going to suffocate me in the
sweltering heat of the summer that I can't even see anymore, even
though I can feel it burn. -- prozac nation (pg61)
I swore I'd never be one of those life-hating people ever again since my little emo phase years ago, But I fucking HATE the way my life is going right now. I'm so fucking bored. I dont do anything anymore. Even when I go out nothing is the same.
I'm just so frustrated.
2 years ago, I was fucking having the time of my life.
I dont want to get old and feel like I missed out on so many things because I had a kid and then have a crazy mid life crisis. I need to stop trying to find satisfaction in other people. I do it all the time and its stupid and immature.
i am the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing
always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into
the background. Just like the Chesire cat, someday I will suddenly
leave, but the artifical warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish
curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villians in
Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl
you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic
in the park, the one who looks to very vibrant and you look at the
picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I
will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union.
Because with everyday that goes by, I feel myself becoming more
and more invisible, getting covered over more thickly and darkness,
coats and coats of darkness that are going to suffocate me in the
sweltering heat of the summer that I can't even see anymore, even
though I can feel it burn. -- prozac nation (pg61)