cuz you asked for it, cuz you need one

[the_female_form]

got asked out on a date today. god that makes me feel like a girl. made alex all jealous like. mmm, funny. i feel like a real person again. if i didn't have to work so much life might be good right now. i enjoy college, i like being there, i like the people and the interaction and getting good grades. if i had the time i would totally be one of those kids that spends time on campus studying because being on campus is nice. work blows. in retrospect it's just hard but in reality it's life sucking and time sucking. it's easier to look at work from a distance but when i'm actually there it's like being in hell. i wish i was one of those kids who could just go to school and that's it. but i know i wouldn't use my time responsibly, i would party and be a crazy fuck up. but working 12 hour shifts makes me prioritize and have forced time to focus on my homework. it's stressful as shit, but it's almost gratifying. like i'm working really hard. like. i feel like i'm not working enough to make myself the person i need to be. but at the same time i have no time to breath. in my mind i can't be working hard enough. but in reality i don't even have time to eat. in my mind working is a much more difficult thing that working in reality. maybe i'm pushing too hard. but on the bright side, i'm having less panic attacks, i don't have enough time to be panicked, and i'm okay with that.
and i got an A on my last paper and a note saying i'm a "promising writer"
holla!