(no subject)

[the_female_form]

i had a horrible dream last night. one of the members of my old band was stalking me, and my boss was letting him. he would show up outside my window while i was naked and just stare until i yelled at him to go away. and she would justify it and say it was all ok. he showed up at my work and hurt me, then when i went to leave work i realized i left my keys in the building and had to go back in. my boss was there with me in the parking lot and when i told her i had to go back in she almost drove away. but i told her he was in there and she had to go with me otherwise he would kill me and she very reluctantly agreed. later he tore up one of my kitties to near death and she didn't care. and i was mortified and desperately trying to get my bleeding kitty help and she said i was overreacting. i remember so vividly the picture of my gray kitty dripping with blood and looking so pitiful. and she was there, but she
wasn't the only one who wouldn't help, no one would, they all thought i was overreacting.

then i woke up. and the alarm went off. and i went out and snuggled the shit out of my kitties. i hate dreams like that. i hate that i have them all the time. i realize that my boss is oppressive and borderline evil. and i hate that i feel so out of control in my own life, but do all my dreams have to be about me getting killed? and all the people in my life killing me? can't i just have one dream about care bears and wake up content? why can't i wake up right before the alarm clock, and click it off right before it ruins my waking life?