a quick trip to bilo
hey,
i stayed home from work today. emily has had a mild case of chicken pox and charlotte picked up the same virus too. her case hasnt been as bad as emily's but then emily's hasnt been bad at all considering how bad those things can be. shes already feeling better after a few days. needless to say though i felt the need to stay home today. this afternoon alex and emily were nipping at one another due to the stir crazy attitudes around the house. we all get that way whenever we are all four home and confined to the inside. alex wasnt and i wasnt cause neither of us have shown signs of any sort of sickness. just to get out of the house and just to get a few thing to make everyone feel better, i decided to head to the grocery store. i approached the intersection at hixson pike and sequoya access and ALMOST turned right to head to the bilo in soddy. something changed my mind. i went to lakesite instead. alex asked to ride in the massive car buggy that was beckoning him when we walked up to the door. i usually dont ever give it a second thought. i gave in this time. not that it really mattered, i just hate to lug that thing around.
i rounded the corner of the cola isle and headed toward the meat department. i happened to glance up and recognize her. those eyes, i couldnt miss them. there she was again, diana. the last time i saw her, i was delivering a pizza to her when i worked at dominos. that was at least 3 years ago. prior to that charlotte and i ran into her at bilo when it was winn dixie, about six months after alex was born. she ran up like we were friends for life and checked out alex for a second and said hey and ran off.
this time was just as all the others. she either didnt see me or she purposely avoided even looking at me. there were at least three times that she could have eyed me and known who i was. i know ive gained weight since shes seen me last but im sure she would have known who i was if she had seen me. after all, i knew who she was.
she was there with three kids. one about the six age range and one around 10 or so, and one that i would have to say looked almost 13. damn, was that miranda? i spyed a quick glance, if i could only see her face, if i could only see her eyes. then she turns my direction for a brief moment before she walks away somewhere with the other girl there, the 10ish one.
it was her. i know it was. how she had grown. how she had changed. but her eyes told on her. i KNEW it was her. i didnt see miranda again until they were all walking out the door as i was checking out. i wanted so much just to run into her as she was wandering the store. just to get a good look at her to keep in my mind.
i was so tempted to break the silence diana and i tend to share and go up to her and say hello. there is no REAL reason for us to be this way with on another. she wanted me out of miranda's life and i agreed to uphold that status. theres no real reason for her to hate me like she has in the past. theres no real reason for me to hold onto the pain that i have held for the years that have gone by. i wanted to walk up to her and tell her all this. i wanted to let her know that i was sorry for the way things ended. i wanted to let her know that to some degree i understand all that happened and i actually feel that some of the things she had said and done, i actually understand now. not that i feel i was technically wrong at that time, just within the last seven years i have had so much happen within my life to educate me to other things in my life which would eventually lead me to knowing the answers i had been seeking most my life.
at any rate, miranda was beautiful. it melted my heart to know she was so close to me. it broke my heart to know that her brother who knew of her was so close to her and she had no idea.
just as a note, i picked up a quick pick lottery ticket on the way home. the first number was 11 (my bday) the last was 22 (mirandas bday)
take care my lovely miranda
i stayed home from work today. emily has had a mild case of chicken pox and charlotte picked up the same virus too. her case hasnt been as bad as emily's but then emily's hasnt been bad at all considering how bad those things can be. shes already feeling better after a few days. needless to say though i felt the need to stay home today. this afternoon alex and emily were nipping at one another due to the stir crazy attitudes around the house. we all get that way whenever we are all four home and confined to the inside. alex wasnt and i wasnt cause neither of us have shown signs of any sort of sickness. just to get out of the house and just to get a few thing to make everyone feel better, i decided to head to the grocery store. i approached the intersection at hixson pike and sequoya access and ALMOST turned right to head to the bilo in soddy. something changed my mind. i went to lakesite instead. alex asked to ride in the massive car buggy that was beckoning him when we walked up to the door. i usually dont ever give it a second thought. i gave in this time. not that it really mattered, i just hate to lug that thing around.
i rounded the corner of the cola isle and headed toward the meat department. i happened to glance up and recognize her. those eyes, i couldnt miss them. there she was again, diana. the last time i saw her, i was delivering a pizza to her when i worked at dominos. that was at least 3 years ago. prior to that charlotte and i ran into her at bilo when it was winn dixie, about six months after alex was born. she ran up like we were friends for life and checked out alex for a second and said hey and ran off.
this time was just as all the others. she either didnt see me or she purposely avoided even looking at me. there were at least three times that she could have eyed me and known who i was. i know ive gained weight since shes seen me last but im sure she would have known who i was if she had seen me. after all, i knew who she was.
she was there with three kids. one about the six age range and one around 10 or so, and one that i would have to say looked almost 13. damn, was that miranda? i spyed a quick glance, if i could only see her face, if i could only see her eyes. then she turns my direction for a brief moment before she walks away somewhere with the other girl there, the 10ish one.
it was her. i know it was. how she had grown. how she had changed. but her eyes told on her. i KNEW it was her. i didnt see miranda again until they were all walking out the door as i was checking out. i wanted so much just to run into her as she was wandering the store. just to get a good look at her to keep in my mind.
i was so tempted to break the silence diana and i tend to share and go up to her and say hello. there is no REAL reason for us to be this way with on another. she wanted me out of miranda's life and i agreed to uphold that status. theres no real reason for her to hate me like she has in the past. theres no real reason for me to hold onto the pain that i have held for the years that have gone by. i wanted to walk up to her and tell her all this. i wanted to let her know that i was sorry for the way things ended. i wanted to let her know that to some degree i understand all that happened and i actually feel that some of the things she had said and done, i actually understand now. not that i feel i was technically wrong at that time, just within the last seven years i have had so much happen within my life to educate me to other things in my life which would eventually lead me to knowing the answers i had been seeking most my life.
at any rate, miranda was beautiful. it melted my heart to know she was so close to me. it broke my heart to know that her brother who knew of her was so close to her and she had no idea.
just as a note, i picked up a quick pick lottery ticket on the way home. the first number was 11 (my bday) the last was 22 (mirandas bday)
take care my lovely miranda