may I have the freedom to choose (and all the information to choose wisely) - PART SIXTEEN
Okay, folks-- here's the thing. I am not a teenage boy, much less a gay teenage boy. and also I have not had sex. So if anything comes off as inaccurate, anatomically incorrect, or just plain odd, please! Let me know? Thanks.
PART FIFTEEN
Kurt wasn't shaking anymore, his nerves forgotten. He tensed up again when Blaine urged him to pull his hips off the bed for a moment, but he was still more relaxed than he had been. Which had been the whole point.
Blaine felt a little less nervous too. It was okay. Even if he messed up, it would be okay. He still couldn't help but take in a sharp breath when he finally got to see Kurt's cock.
He’d seen dicks before, of course -hello, he had one- but somehow this was different from watching porn or jerking himself off. This was Kurt. It was Kurt’s cock curving upward toward his stomach, Kurt’s cock that was flushed red and swollen, Kurt’s cock that was shaking a little from the tremors that were racking his body.
Blaine hesitated a moment, then slowly leaned in and kissed the head, a short, soft kiss that had Kurt jerking in surprise. Blaine drew back, tongue flickering out to run over his lips. He could taste something vaguely salty that he supposed was Kurt. “Okay?” Blaine asked, rubbing Kurt’s hip soothingly.
“Y-yes,” Kurt said shakily.
“Okay,” Blaine said. Taking a deep breath, he leaned in again, this time actually taking Kurt’s erection into his mouth.
It was at once everything Blaine had imagined and nothing like it at all. He could feel Kurt’s heartbeat, for fuck’s sake, and they never said anything about that on sex ed websites. Kurt was warm in his mouth, strangely so, considering Blaine was pretty sure the inside of his mouth was a higher temperature than Kurt’s surface body temp. He was warm and solid and he filled Blaine’s mouth completely in a way no practice-popsicle ever had.
It was awesome.
Blaine could feel Kurt’s cock pressing at the back of his mouth, tickling his throat and threatening to trigger Blaine’s gag reflex. Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hips, pinning them to the bed, and slowly, deliberately swallowed.
The sound Kurt made was one Blaine would be replaying in his mind during jerkoff sessions for the rest of his life, fuck. Blaine desperately wanted to reach down and jerk off; he was so goddamn hard it hurt. There was something else he wanted more, though.
Blaine’d always (okay, not always, but since not very long after discovering gay porn) thought he’d be a bit of a slut for cock, or at least for sucking cock. He liked playing with his ass every once in a while, but he tended to fantasize more about fucking than being fucked. But holy Mary, mother of God, did he like having a cock in his mouth.
His friends had always teased him about his oral fixation. He always had a pen in his mouth, or a lollipop, or something, at least when he was relaxed enough to be just Blaine and not Blaine Anderson, heir to the Andersons (yes, those Andersons).
They had no fucking idea.
Distantly, he realized that he’d tightened his grip on Kurt, pressing him further into the bed, and that considering how fair his boyfriend was, probably bruising him (and jesus, wasn’t that a hot image? Kurt going around about his day, classes, Glee, all the while underneath that prim neat exterior bruises like fingerprints bracketing his hips, marking him, claiming him, reminding him of Blaine with every little ache) but Kurt wasn’t complaining, in fact, he was moaning, leaning into it, so Blaine let himself go and just lost himself in sucking Kurt’s cock.
He loved sucking cock. He couldn’t believe they’d gone so long without doing this. God, he should be sucking Kurt’s cock all the fucking time.
Blaine tried a few times to deep throat Kurt the way he’d seen in pornos, which turned out to be not his best idea ever, making him choke and his eyes tear up, but it was still fucking hot, so who the fuck cared? He’d just have to practice. Oh no, woe is him, he needs to suck Kurt’s cock again so he can give a better blowjob.
Tonguing the sensitive spot right below the head, Blaine pulled off of Kurt’s cock just enough to easily look up. He wanted to see Kurt’s face. He needed to see Kurt’s face. He needed to see his meticulous, particular, controlled boyfriend fall apart, needed to see what he was doing to Kurt, how he was making him feel - God, he’d fantasized about this a thousand times and now he was actually going to see -
Kurt was crying.
Fuck, Kurt was crying.
Blaine instantly scrambled up onto the bed, hands fluttering indecisively over Kurt’s shoulders. He didn’t know what to do; he didn’t know what he’d done, but Kurt was crying and Blaine wanted to touch him, hold him and apologize and tell him how much Blaine loved him, how much Blaine would always love him, but what if Kurt needed space or -
Kurt solved his dilemma by grabbing a bit of Blaine’s shirt and pulling down (hard) so Blaine was on the bed next to him. Kurt curled towards him and practically buried himself in Blaine’s arms; Blaine could feel his shirt getting damp and the minute tremors that racked Kurt’s body.
(He could also feel Kurt’s naked cock, strangely enough, still rock-hard, right next to his, but he wasn’t thinking about that right now.
…Okay, mostly not thinking about that right now. Blaine’s only human, after all.)
Blaine belatedly realized he was babbling, asking Kurt if he was alright and “God, I’m so sorry, baby. I love you, Kurt. I’m sorry, so sorry; please, talk to me, baby. Please, just let me know if you’re okay-“
Blaine cut himself off. Of course Kurt wasn’t okay.
Huddled up in the circle of Blaine’s arms, Blaine could feel Kurt shaking his head against Blaine’s chest. He said something, but it was muffled and Blaine couldn’t make it out.
“Kurt, baby, I can’t understand you.”
Kurt still didn’t pull back and so his reply was still muffled, but he’d raised his voice enough that Blaine could make out that Kurt was fine, he was sorry, he was fine, just give him a minute, okay? He’s fine; he promises.
Blaine didn’t know what to do. He petted at Kurt helplessly, trying to provide comfort in whatever way he could. He still didn’t know what was wrong.
Except that he’d been right. Kurt was so not ready for them to go that fast. Even if he wanted them to.
PART SEVENTEEN
Also, I feel like I make Kurt cry way too often. >.< I guess these things happen, though.