New Directions (Especially Finn) Still Doesn't Get It
"Finn, for the last time, I am not asking Blaine to refer to me as his 'Little Friend', no matter how hilarious you think it would be!" Kurt said, sitting back in his seat with a huff.
"Actually, Mr. Hudson, Boss Man here is taller than Mr. Anderson by a couple of inches." Anthony said from where he was standing in the corner. "Your joke would be incorrect, in addition to not being amusing."
"Thank you!" Kurt said, raising an eyebrow at Finn in triumph before turning back to his cell phone to text Blaine.
"Wait...So, you don't think "Scarface" jokes are funny?" Finn asked, looking at Anthony in slight disbelief. "I mean, isn't it like, Mob Law to memorize that movie?"
Anthony raised his eyebrows at Kurt, who simply shook his head without looking up. "Don't blame me, I've only been related to him for a few months. I was more concerned with fixing his fashion sense than his cultural awareness."
Anthony frowned, about to open his mouth when Kurt held up a hand to stop him, continuing before the older man could interrupt. "At least I have a shot at getting him in better clothing. You're going to fight a losing battle."
Anthony shrugged, moving to walk towards the front of the room. "Mr. Schue, if I may?" He asked, gesturing to where the teacher was standing. Nodding quickly, Mr. Schue moved to sit in the front row of chairs next to Kurt, who still hadn't looked up from his phone. Anthony moved in to the free space, cracking his knuckles before speaking.
"Alright, so you guys know that movie about the kids that sing in the high school, right? With the basketball, and that drama teacher and whatnot?" He asked, snapping his fingers as he tried to recall the name. "Boss man, help me out here, you know the one...With the blue-eyed kid that dances on the golf course..."
"High School Musical, guys. He means High School Musical." Kurt said, pulling looks of understanding and nods from most of his fellow glee club members. "You can go on now, Anthony, they're with you...Well, Finn's not, and Puck's pretending like he doesn't know, but this is as close to 100% understanding as you're gonna get."
Anthony nodded. "Gotcha boss man, thanks. Anyways, that Musical High School whatever...Is that anything like what you guys do here?" He pointed at Rachel. "You. Motor Mouth McGee. Do you like getting compared to whatserface, the crazy girl with the blonde hair and the glittery dresses?"
"Sharpay?! I am not Sharpay!" Rachel said, sputtering indignantly. "She's a power hungry control freak! I'm clearly a much more professional performer than she'll ever be, and I'm insulted at the comparison."
"...Right. Exactly." Anthony said, looking at her with a raised eyebrow before clearing his throat. "Anyways, that's how "Scarface" feels to anybody who's actually in the business. It's inaccurate, it's overrated, and frankly, it doesn't even start to scratch the surface about the difficulties involved. Also, not all mobs run drugs. Any questions?"
He looked around, sighing softly when Finn raised his hand slowly. He was about to answer him when the bell rang, signaling the end of classes for the day.
"Oh, look at the time, we've gotta go." Kurt said, grabbing his bag and practically sprinting to the door. "Come on, Anthony. My classmates have been educated enough in the ways of the mob for one day. Besides, knowing Finn, his next question will be if not liking “Scarface” also means you don’t like pizza, and I don’t have enough Tylenol to deal with the migraine that question would give me.”
“Coming, Mr. Hummel. You gotta admit though, boss man, I’d make a pretty good teacher,” Anthony said, following Kurt out the door and down the hallway quickly. “I mean, not teaching Math or anything, or doing…Whatever it is Mr. Schue does with you Glee kids when I’m not around, but still. Talking about the job? I could do that.”
“Yes, yes, you’d be fabulous. I can see it now: “Mob Inaccuracies 101: Lies the Movies Told You, taught by Professor Anthony Mozzoli,” Kurt said, rubbing his temples slowly. “Now that your educational career is mapped out, can we please just go to the shooting range?! I feel the need to pistol-whip something...”
"Actually, Mr. Hudson, Boss Man here is taller than Mr. Anderson by a couple of inches." Anthony said from where he was standing in the corner. "Your joke would be incorrect, in addition to not being amusing."
"Thank you!" Kurt said, raising an eyebrow at Finn in triumph before turning back to his cell phone to text Blaine.
"Wait...So, you don't think "Scarface" jokes are funny?" Finn asked, looking at Anthony in slight disbelief. "I mean, isn't it like, Mob Law to memorize that movie?"
Anthony raised his eyebrows at Kurt, who simply shook his head without looking up. "Don't blame me, I've only been related to him for a few months. I was more concerned with fixing his fashion sense than his cultural awareness."
Anthony frowned, about to open his mouth when Kurt held up a hand to stop him, continuing before the older man could interrupt. "At least I have a shot at getting him in better clothing. You're going to fight a losing battle."
Anthony shrugged, moving to walk towards the front of the room. "Mr. Schue, if I may?" He asked, gesturing to where the teacher was standing. Nodding quickly, Mr. Schue moved to sit in the front row of chairs next to Kurt, who still hadn't looked up from his phone. Anthony moved in to the free space, cracking his knuckles before speaking.
"Alright, so you guys know that movie about the kids that sing in the high school, right? With the basketball, and that drama teacher and whatnot?" He asked, snapping his fingers as he tried to recall the name. "Boss man, help me out here, you know the one...With the blue-eyed kid that dances on the golf course..."
"High School Musical, guys. He means High School Musical." Kurt said, pulling looks of understanding and nods from most of his fellow glee club members. "You can go on now, Anthony, they're with you...Well, Finn's not, and Puck's pretending like he doesn't know, but this is as close to 100% understanding as you're gonna get."
Anthony nodded. "Gotcha boss man, thanks. Anyways, that Musical High School whatever...Is that anything like what you guys do here?" He pointed at Rachel. "You. Motor Mouth McGee. Do you like getting compared to whatserface, the crazy girl with the blonde hair and the glittery dresses?"
"Sharpay?! I am not Sharpay!" Rachel said, sputtering indignantly. "She's a power hungry control freak! I'm clearly a much more professional performer than she'll ever be, and I'm insulted at the comparison."
"...Right. Exactly." Anthony said, looking at her with a raised eyebrow before clearing his throat. "Anyways, that's how "Scarface" feels to anybody who's actually in the business. It's inaccurate, it's overrated, and frankly, it doesn't even start to scratch the surface about the difficulties involved. Also, not all mobs run drugs. Any questions?"
He looked around, sighing softly when Finn raised his hand slowly. He was about to answer him when the bell rang, signaling the end of classes for the day.
"Oh, look at the time, we've gotta go." Kurt said, grabbing his bag and practically sprinting to the door. "Come on, Anthony. My classmates have been educated enough in the ways of the mob for one day. Besides, knowing Finn, his next question will be if not liking “Scarface” also means you don’t like pizza, and I don’t have enough Tylenol to deal with the migraine that question would give me.”
“Coming, Mr. Hummel. You gotta admit though, boss man, I’d make a pretty good teacher,” Anthony said, following Kurt out the door and down the hallway quickly. “I mean, not teaching Math or anything, or doing…Whatever it is Mr. Schue does with you Glee kids when I’m not around, but still. Talking about the job? I could do that.”
“Yes, yes, you’d be fabulous. I can see it now: “Mob Inaccuracies 101: Lies the Movies Told You, taught by Professor Anthony Mozzoli,” Kurt said, rubbing his temples slowly. “Now that your educational career is mapped out, can we please just go to the shooting range?! I feel the need to pistol-whip something...”