good, better, best, better than best
wow! it's june already. how time flies. anyway, i remember writing a filipino poem (at least in form) entitled hunyo for malate. it was a long poem compared to my other efforts. also, among all the poems i wrote for malate, that one was the most focused. i can't remember the right term for it, so i'll stick with focused. but of course, it still needed work. i posted on the poetry logbook with some apprehension, since it was the first complete poem i ever posted there. i wasn't the most comfortable with using the filipino language. i thought i was more of an english writer back then. also, my poem was a socio-political one. i don't remember anymore what i was feelig back then when i wrote it. but i do remember wanting to write a poem based on the last few lines. roughly translated in english (since i don't really remember what it is, just it's essence, naks essence daw) it said something about eventhough it's june already, the summer hasn't totally ended yet. or something like that. i really can't remember much about it. but i do remember that in filipino, it sounded much better. a bit (melo)dramatic, but i thought it was a good ending. although one commenter, i think it was donna, said that the last line would be a good ending for a prose work. the general feedback was better than i expected. of course it still needed work and it needed to be more tight. i have a tendency to go off tangent and too verbose (parang ang ganda pakinggan ng verbose) for my own good. but all in all, the poem proved to be workable. if it was given more attention, it could've been a publishable one. but unfortunately, i only got to edit it once. i was able to shorten it a bit, but of course, that wasn't enough. truth be told, i was already satisfied with the few compliments the poem got. during that time and even up to now, i'm still uncapable of keeping a good thing going. i don't really know when or how to stop and as a result, i didn't do much to the poem. i didn't want to ruin a good thing. but it was just that and nothing more--something good. never best. it's actually very narcissistic to think that the initial effort is good enough, especially if it's nothing exceptional. and we all know i suffer from narcissism.
anyway, it's june already, and almost half a year has passed. what have i done for the past 5 months that should merit recognition? have i stuck with just being good or have i done something i could say was the best. honestly, i don't really remember much. i don't really make an effort to remember what i've done. maybe because i know it wasn't good enough or maybe, i just live for the moment and not bother with the past or what the future may bring. maybe a mixture of both. i do try to remind myself of my past accomplishments. only to remind me that i did something. other people may not think too highly of it. other people may. all i know is, i did something. half the year wasn't wasted on doing nothing. i may not have been doing my best, but at least i was good enough to learn from the things i did the past couple of months. and in the end, this could only help me become better in the end. i always did think that i could be better than best.
anyway, it's june already, and almost half a year has passed. what have i done for the past 5 months that should merit recognition? have i stuck with just being good or have i done something i could say was the best. honestly, i don't really remember much. i don't really make an effort to remember what i've done. maybe because i know it wasn't good enough or maybe, i just live for the moment and not bother with the past or what the future may bring. maybe a mixture of both. i do try to remind myself of my past accomplishments. only to remind me that i did something. other people may not think too highly of it. other people may. all i know is, i did something. half the year wasn't wasted on doing nothing. i may not have been doing my best, but at least i was good enough to learn from the things i did the past couple of months. and in the end, this could only help me become better in the end. i always did think that i could be better than best.