(no subject)
ben-"so am i really incredibly shallow?"
me-"Well, regardless of your feelings and thoughts and whatever, you seem like you base your actions on physical appearance. That's like, the definition. And dont try using what is 'normal' for guys as an excuse for that behavior. Look, It seems you think it'd be normal to have relationships based primarily on appearances, and I hate to break it to you, but most people don't function that way. I mean, sure, almost everybody can say they've had crushes from time to time just cause some one was hot, but it's an occaisional thing, not a way of life and if you cant see that about yourself then im sorry"
ben-"give me an example of when i've based a relationship on whether i think someone's attractive. i'll give you an example of when i haven't- caitlin. i thought i was in love with her. whether i really was or not is beside the point; i certainly didn't think so because of her physical appearance. to a certain extent i am shallow (and yes, i can see that in myself, thank you very much), but to another extent i most definitely am not. if YOU can't see that about me, then I'M sorry. and i hate to break it to YOU, but physical appearances to play a big part in alot of relationships, specifically getting them started. alot of the time, you see someone attractive so you talk to them. if you like them (you know, their personality, which you evidently hold paramount, and evidently think i don't have) then maybe you consider a relationship. and speaking of judging people by their appearances, you seem to be doing some fast judging yourself. "regardless of my feelings and thoughts and whatever"? it has everything to do with my feelings and thoughts and whatever, because you're not a mind reader. you don't know what i base my relationships on, or even very much about my relationships, since i haven't had a serious one since caitlin, and you haven't known me my entire life. i can appreciate physical beauty- scandalous, shocking, awful, terrible. sorry. "
me-"well i may not be a mind reader but i certainly know the things you say sometimes, and based on that appearences seem to play a big part in what matters to you in a relationship, which you just made clear, look ben, im not saying that your the rencarnation on of the devil or evil or anything, all im saying is that it seems to be alot of which you care about, and im not the only one who thinks so either, plus you asked"
ben-"you're twisting what i said. what i said was that appearances play a big role starting things off alot of the time for everybody. i didn't say "most of what matters to me is what the girl looks like". and you still havent given me an example"
me-"well im not TRYING to twist what you said, and i didnt say that most of what matters to you is what a girl looks like, i said, it seems that way alot of the time, and no, i cant name an example off the back of my hand, but obviously its something that seems apparent, i mean, i seriously wouldnt be saying anything at all, if i honestly didnt think so, and if i didnt think you implied things like that alot of the time, but whatever, its not like i hate you or anything, im just saying my opinion on something that you asked me about, no need to flip out..."
ben-"Im just wondering where you got this opinion of me. im not flipping out..."
me-"i guess partially i got this opinion of you from things you've said, well obviously, but it just seems like everytime your interested in a girl its primairily based on the way they look, i mean sure you like their personality and whatnot, but primairily it seems mostly based on looks, the other things is this, and with saying this i admit that i may not be right, but this is still just my opinion, it seems that as much as you could like a girl, you wouldnt make a commitment to a relationship with her if she isnt "hot" so to speak"
ben-"well, i didn't date mia, not for physical reasons, i didn't date chelsea, not for physical reasons, and i decided that i wanted catie as my friend, again not for physical reasons. all three are very attractive. if i'm as shallow as you make me out to be, wouldn't i have done otherwise? also, does dating mainly girls who are considered by many to be attractive automatically make me shallow? and if so, does that mean that to be considered not shallow, i have to date at least one girl who isn't considered generally attractive? "
to which i said "whatever ben, fine, you win, this is ridiculous, im done..." so which he said "fine, whatever you say, so how was your day?" to which im not responding
GOD, HE MAKES ME WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF
me-"Well, regardless of your feelings and thoughts and whatever, you seem like you base your actions on physical appearance. That's like, the definition. And dont try using what is 'normal' for guys as an excuse for that behavior. Look, It seems you think it'd be normal to have relationships based primarily on appearances, and I hate to break it to you, but most people don't function that way. I mean, sure, almost everybody can say they've had crushes from time to time just cause some one was hot, but it's an occaisional thing, not a way of life and if you cant see that about yourself then im sorry"
ben-"give me an example of when i've based a relationship on whether i think someone's attractive. i'll give you an example of when i haven't- caitlin. i thought i was in love with her. whether i really was or not is beside the point; i certainly didn't think so because of her physical appearance. to a certain extent i am shallow (and yes, i can see that in myself, thank you very much), but to another extent i most definitely am not. if YOU can't see that about me, then I'M sorry. and i hate to break it to YOU, but physical appearances to play a big part in alot of relationships, specifically getting them started. alot of the time, you see someone attractive so you talk to them. if you like them (you know, their personality, which you evidently hold paramount, and evidently think i don't have) then maybe you consider a relationship. and speaking of judging people by their appearances, you seem to be doing some fast judging yourself. "regardless of my feelings and thoughts and whatever"? it has everything to do with my feelings and thoughts and whatever, because you're not a mind reader. you don't know what i base my relationships on, or even very much about my relationships, since i haven't had a serious one since caitlin, and you haven't known me my entire life. i can appreciate physical beauty- scandalous, shocking, awful, terrible. sorry. "
me-"well i may not be a mind reader but i certainly know the things you say sometimes, and based on that appearences seem to play a big part in what matters to you in a relationship, which you just made clear, look ben, im not saying that your the rencarnation on of the devil or evil or anything, all im saying is that it seems to be alot of which you care about, and im not the only one who thinks so either, plus you asked"
ben-"you're twisting what i said. what i said was that appearances play a big role starting things off alot of the time for everybody. i didn't say "most of what matters to me is what the girl looks like". and you still havent given me an example"
me-"well im not TRYING to twist what you said, and i didnt say that most of what matters to you is what a girl looks like, i said, it seems that way alot of the time, and no, i cant name an example off the back of my hand, but obviously its something that seems apparent, i mean, i seriously wouldnt be saying anything at all, if i honestly didnt think so, and if i didnt think you implied things like that alot of the time, but whatever, its not like i hate you or anything, im just saying my opinion on something that you asked me about, no need to flip out..."
ben-"Im just wondering where you got this opinion of me. im not flipping out..."
me-"i guess partially i got this opinion of you from things you've said, well obviously, but it just seems like everytime your interested in a girl its primairily based on the way they look, i mean sure you like their personality and whatnot, but primairily it seems mostly based on looks, the other things is this, and with saying this i admit that i may not be right, but this is still just my opinion, it seems that as much as you could like a girl, you wouldnt make a commitment to a relationship with her if she isnt "hot" so to speak"
ben-"well, i didn't date mia, not for physical reasons, i didn't date chelsea, not for physical reasons, and i decided that i wanted catie as my friend, again not for physical reasons. all three are very attractive. if i'm as shallow as you make me out to be, wouldn't i have done otherwise? also, does dating mainly girls who are considered by many to be attractive automatically make me shallow? and if so, does that mean that to be considered not shallow, i have to date at least one girl who isn't considered generally attractive? "
to which i said "whatever ben, fine, you win, this is ridiculous, im done..." so which he said "fine, whatever you say, so how was your day?" to which im not responding
GOD, HE MAKES ME WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF