I like 'em skinny and stoned
Sometimes when my dad and I are in Chapel Hill [and here 'sometimes' means thrice] we do this:
get a newspaper. Then see what bands are playing at the Cat's Cradle. Then we read the three sentence summary of this band. Then we go see this random band for about 6 dollars. Most times they suck but you can peoplewatch. This is one good thing about spending time in a city where a little more is going on than in Greensboro. A couple weeks ago we went to "the Merch Annual Holiday Party" at the Cat's Cradle because we saw a poster for it. That's all, a poster that said "Hip Hop Dance Party" but there were only about fifteen people there. So we listened to hip-hop Christmas music for a while and then left.
Then tonight we decided we would go see some band from a town that has no business existing except for it is where you catch the ferry for to go to the outer banks. They are called Vibrant Green and it was to celebrate the release of their CD. The Cat's Cradle was only about 1/16 full and I felt like having a good cry for Vibrant Green because no one was there. So we went and watched the first two bands, one of which was called Cities and the other... I don't know what it was called. I have to tell you that there is something strangely thrilling about watching the elation of a rock and roll band as they perform. I mean, here are 4 [four!] college aged guys prancing around with guitars strapped on them, slowly stripping their shirts into thin and tight ironic thrift store T-shirts and between songs, floundering in front of the mike they sang so vehemently into about fifteen seconds ago. The violence of that fast strumming and the urgency of singing into a little microphone, it's fascinating, regardless of if the band sounds like Meat Loaf OR Beck on Acid. But here is what is really sexy:
feedback.
so the bands we saw tonight, they weren't so hot. I mean, Cities was okay but didn't sound like how myspace.com told us they would, but, granted, we didn't go see them because we're crazy fans, but because we needed something to do. But here is one of my favorite things. When guys who play guitars decide that they will make some strange noises. And so they sit on the floor and hunch over their guitars and twiddle nobs and pull strings and hold their instruments aloft until they're uncomfortably close to the amplifiers and feedback ensues. But the whole time they're trying to make this god-awful noise, they're on the floor, totally absorbed in it. And this, this is inexplicably hot. Like a little kid scrambling around trying to pick up all the crayons he spilt, but also like Romeo hunched over a fallen Juliet, unguarded and taken with the moment [okay, so I know Romeo dies first. Shut up]. Ryan Adams does this well, but most anyone can too, but he has this totally this strange combination of child and something else satanic. It's excellent. But what this all really got me thinking about besides bathroom graffitti [I long to be so in love with someone that I feel the urge to scrawl their name on a bathroom wall. I mean, what possesses people to take the time to CARVE, not even WRITE "I like 'em skinny and stoned" or "For a good time call ***-****" Seriously. They actually wrote seven asterisks. Not numbers someone later scratched out. No, not wrote. CARVED. It's time consuming to carve an asterisk.], it got me thinking about:
adjectives
yeah, adjectives. Before we went to see mystery band, we looked them up to see if it would be a total waste. And I mean, really, how do you describe how a song SOUNDS? Mostly, there are three ways to do this. They are:
1. The Band X on Drug X
This, to me, is the most useless. What you do is, see, is if you were describing, say the band Zuchinni, which I just made up but come to think of it, that's a sweet little name. You take a band that Zuchinni sounds a tiny bit like, but then just say they sound like that band on a certain drug. Cities was described as "Interpol on Robotussin" and I think it would be fair to say that Zuchinni sounds like Uncle Kracker on ecstasy, a lethal combination. Coldplay could be "U2 on muscle relaxants" or something. I don't know. It's better if you reference a band that no one is heard of, so you look them up only to find them compared to another band no one's heard of until you've compared Ben Folds to Keven Federline. Kind of like if you looked up a word in a dictionary but it was defined with a word you don't know. That would suck.
2. The Theoretical Incongrous Amalgamation
This technique is a little more definitive, but barely. It's a "Zuchinni sounds like if Bob Dylan sang 50 Cent songs" or "If Weezer and Beethoven started a band, this would be it". Again, the more difficult and confounding, the better. "If Ice Cube sang Broadway songs" is a good one, I think that neatly covers our faves Zuchinni.
3. The Adjective Laden Component Description
requires making up words to describe each part of the sound. "Zuchinni features strained vocals over rich, swirling guitars and a bass line that hops and jumps like a kid hopped up on chocolate. The drums resound darkly and minor chords are positively layered over taupe-colored power chords" Though there are plenty of adjectives there, I still don't know what Zuchinni [Yes, I know that's Zoo chinny] is. Which brings me to a question. If you were to create your dream band and them describe them, what would they be? What instruments? How many people? Boy or girl singer? Are they any of the following? Sugary/melodic/dark/hushed/emocore/sadcore/shoe-gazing/acoustic/heavy/bonecrushing/twangy/dark/swirling/instrumental/down-home/rough/funky or psychadelic? I'll tell you right now i'm going to go with a four piece band, male singer. Two guitars a bass and drums and the rhythm guitarist, he can swtich out to banjo and violin and keyboard and electric mandolin and keytar as needed. And when the music reviewers come, they will probably use the words melodic and acoustic and twangy. That's my dream band. It sounds suspiciously like Ryan Adams and the Pinkhearts... Maybe my dream band would just be Ice Cube doing broadway songs. And you?
PS-I am now the proud owner of Killer Tofu by The Beets, Shout Your Lungs Out by The Beets and Bangin' On A Trashcan by The Doug Funnie band and I can yousendit if anyone is interested. the nostalgia is incredible, how I forget my homework but remember to words to songs from Doug after ten years, I don't know.
get a newspaper. Then see what bands are playing at the Cat's Cradle. Then we read the three sentence summary of this band. Then we go see this random band for about 6 dollars. Most times they suck but you can peoplewatch. This is one good thing about spending time in a city where a little more is going on than in Greensboro. A couple weeks ago we went to "the Merch Annual Holiday Party" at the Cat's Cradle because we saw a poster for it. That's all, a poster that said "Hip Hop Dance Party" but there were only about fifteen people there. So we listened to hip-hop Christmas music for a while and then left.
Then tonight we decided we would go see some band from a town that has no business existing except for it is where you catch the ferry for to go to the outer banks. They are called Vibrant Green and it was to celebrate the release of their CD. The Cat's Cradle was only about 1/16 full and I felt like having a good cry for Vibrant Green because no one was there. So we went and watched the first two bands, one of which was called Cities and the other... I don't know what it was called. I have to tell you that there is something strangely thrilling about watching the elation of a rock and roll band as they perform. I mean, here are 4 [four!] college aged guys prancing around with guitars strapped on them, slowly stripping their shirts into thin and tight ironic thrift store T-shirts and between songs, floundering in front of the mike they sang so vehemently into about fifteen seconds ago. The violence of that fast strumming and the urgency of singing into a little microphone, it's fascinating, regardless of if the band sounds like Meat Loaf OR Beck on Acid. But here is what is really sexy:
feedback.
so the bands we saw tonight, they weren't so hot. I mean, Cities was okay but didn't sound like how myspace.com told us they would, but, granted, we didn't go see them because we're crazy fans, but because we needed something to do. But here is one of my favorite things. When guys who play guitars decide that they will make some strange noises. And so they sit on the floor and hunch over their guitars and twiddle nobs and pull strings and hold their instruments aloft until they're uncomfortably close to the amplifiers and feedback ensues. But the whole time they're trying to make this god-awful noise, they're on the floor, totally absorbed in it. And this, this is inexplicably hot. Like a little kid scrambling around trying to pick up all the crayons he spilt, but also like Romeo hunched over a fallen Juliet, unguarded and taken with the moment [okay, so I know Romeo dies first. Shut up]. Ryan Adams does this well, but most anyone can too, but he has this totally this strange combination of child and something else satanic. It's excellent. But what this all really got me thinking about besides bathroom graffitti [I long to be so in love with someone that I feel the urge to scrawl their name on a bathroom wall. I mean, what possesses people to take the time to CARVE, not even WRITE "I like 'em skinny and stoned" or "For a good time call ***-****" Seriously. They actually wrote seven asterisks. Not numbers someone later scratched out. No, not wrote. CARVED. It's time consuming to carve an asterisk.], it got me thinking about:
adjectives
yeah, adjectives. Before we went to see mystery band, we looked them up to see if it would be a total waste. And I mean, really, how do you describe how a song SOUNDS? Mostly, there are three ways to do this. They are:
1. The Band X on Drug X
This, to me, is the most useless. What you do is, see, is if you were describing, say the band Zuchinni, which I just made up but come to think of it, that's a sweet little name. You take a band that Zuchinni sounds a tiny bit like, but then just say they sound like that band on a certain drug. Cities was described as "Interpol on Robotussin" and I think it would be fair to say that Zuchinni sounds like Uncle Kracker on ecstasy, a lethal combination. Coldplay could be "U2 on muscle relaxants" or something. I don't know. It's better if you reference a band that no one is heard of, so you look them up only to find them compared to another band no one's heard of until you've compared Ben Folds to Keven Federline. Kind of like if you looked up a word in a dictionary but it was defined with a word you don't know. That would suck.
2. The Theoretical Incongrous Amalgamation
This technique is a little more definitive, but barely. It's a "Zuchinni sounds like if Bob Dylan sang 50 Cent songs" or "If Weezer and Beethoven started a band, this would be it". Again, the more difficult and confounding, the better. "If Ice Cube sang Broadway songs" is a good one, I think that neatly covers our faves Zuchinni.
3. The Adjective Laden Component Description
requires making up words to describe each part of the sound. "Zuchinni features strained vocals over rich, swirling guitars and a bass line that hops and jumps like a kid hopped up on chocolate. The drums resound darkly and minor chords are positively layered over taupe-colored power chords" Though there are plenty of adjectives there, I still don't know what Zuchinni [Yes, I know that's Zoo chinny] is. Which brings me to a question. If you were to create your dream band and them describe them, what would they be? What instruments? How many people? Boy or girl singer? Are they any of the following? Sugary/melodic/dark/hushed/emocore/sadcore/shoe-gazing/acoustic/heavy/bonecrushing/twangy/dark/swirling/instrumental/down-home/rough/funky or psychadelic? I'll tell you right now i'm going to go with a four piece band, male singer. Two guitars a bass and drums and the rhythm guitarist, he can swtich out to banjo and violin and keyboard and electric mandolin and keytar as needed. And when the music reviewers come, they will probably use the words melodic and acoustic and twangy. That's my dream band. It sounds suspiciously like Ryan Adams and the Pinkhearts... Maybe my dream band would just be Ice Cube doing broadway songs. And you?
PS-I am now the proud owner of Killer Tofu by The Beets, Shout Your Lungs Out by The Beets and Bangin' On A Trashcan by The Doug Funnie band and I can yousendit if anyone is interested. the nostalgia is incredible, how I forget my homework but remember to words to songs from Doug after ten years, I don't know.