(no subject)
so today was father's day. which im a little upset about. well maybe not a little. i feel like crap. i do not have a father because he died of alcoholism and it was not an easy one for him nor me.
i feel hurt and upset. i feel like alls everyone cares about lately is gettin trashed. it bothers me. thats alls everyone feels like doing, cuz there's nothing else to do. and it bothers me when i havent seen people in a long time, 1) you dont even say hi, and then 2) hey ross, can you buy us a case of beer. yes, i know i did it anyway. but maybe you should of thought it might bother me. the other night i didnt even feel like i existed around everyone. no one barely talked to me. i was just the guy on the outside watching in. everyone is too busy trying to get drunk because thats the only way to have a good time now adays.
i feel very strong about how bad alcohol is for you. if anyone could have seen what i saw my father go through, how painful it was to see someone's organs begin to fail and bleed uncontrobly. i wont go into anymore. it would not make you wanna drink that stuff. but if you wanna go ahead. i know i might be sounding crazy, but i just feel like shit. i just wanna see everyone but i feel like no one cares. and it bothers me SO MUCH, when my father passed away, NO ONE, not of one my friends showed up to his funeral for support for me. i had no one and it really pisses me off.
and i understand if you dont understand why i feel this this way about alcohol. but i just dont know.
everything is different now, and everyone is different now. but this is life and i will deal with it. i've just been upset for a while now, and i dont feel like i have any friends i can just go and talk to.
but this is my journal and this is what its used for. and if you dont like what i have to say, dont fucking read it.
i dont know what to say anymore.
i feel hurt and upset. i feel like alls everyone cares about lately is gettin trashed. it bothers me. thats alls everyone feels like doing, cuz there's nothing else to do. and it bothers me when i havent seen people in a long time, 1) you dont even say hi, and then 2) hey ross, can you buy us a case of beer. yes, i know i did it anyway. but maybe you should of thought it might bother me. the other night i didnt even feel like i existed around everyone. no one barely talked to me. i was just the guy on the outside watching in. everyone is too busy trying to get drunk because thats the only way to have a good time now adays.
i feel very strong about how bad alcohol is for you. if anyone could have seen what i saw my father go through, how painful it was to see someone's organs begin to fail and bleed uncontrobly. i wont go into anymore. it would not make you wanna drink that stuff. but if you wanna go ahead. i know i might be sounding crazy, but i just feel like shit. i just wanna see everyone but i feel like no one cares. and it bothers me SO MUCH, when my father passed away, NO ONE, not of one my friends showed up to his funeral for support for me. i had no one and it really pisses me off.
and i understand if you dont understand why i feel this this way about alcohol. but i just dont know.
everything is different now, and everyone is different now. but this is life and i will deal with it. i've just been upset for a while now, and i dont feel like i have any friends i can just go and talk to.
but this is my journal and this is what its used for. and if you dont like what i have to say, dont fucking read it.
i dont know what to say anymore.