whoever invented feelings needs to be shot in the head!
i hate all of this shit. earlier today i never wanted to talk to her again. i just wanted to go off on her when she tried to talk to me and say hi. my heart starts pounding every time i see her and i just want it to stop! it's like, "bill, what are you getting all nervous and exited for? she doesn't care about you as much as you think. chill out!" btw, that was my mind talking to me. but then i actually listened to jules' advice and didn't "make a huge mistake". but who knows? i may decide later tonight that i really wish i hadn't called and cleared stuff up. then it would make me look like a bigger bitch than i already do. i hate it because she is acting like nothing happened. good to know that my feelings don't really mean that much to her, but there i was telling her every feeling i had. lol, now that i'm thinking about it, i really kinda just want to be done. this is exactly the reason i was so fucking hesitant in the beginning to tell her stuff, but i feel like i'm just willing to dive back in head first. i got some serious-ass-not-knowing-what-the-fuck-i-want problems. i gotta go to akira now so...later