ugh wow
well i'm gunna write in here again cas its not like anyone reads what i write neways so i can pretty much say whatever the hell i want in a way i guess... right?
well first off the past 2 weeks have been SHIT for me. i'm been doing everything wrong and i've tried soo hard to fix everything that i have done and make it better but it seems like everything i try fixing gets worse in some ways. i mean somethings went back to normal. but ugh. if i could change anything i'd change what i did to hurt someone who i love more then ever. i've been trying so hard for the past 2 weeks now to get them to notice me and talk to me more again. but its seems like they don't give one shit about me anymore even though they still mean the world to me and i know no one else has ever meant this much to me and they should know that by now. but when i tell them that its like there saying (WTF I HATE YOU) or something. and it kills me when i talk to him. cas i feel like he really doesn't want to be talking to me. but i'd do anything just to get to talk to him for 2 hours. i know i prolly sound really gay right now but i don't give a shit. when someone means alot to you. you should show it and i'm doing that right now.
i've never felt so messed up in my life after all of this. i just wanna make things right again i truely do. but i feel no matter how much i say they mean to me or how hard i try i'm not gunna get them back. i've gotten to many chances but if i could trade him places and he was me. i'd give him another chance in a sec. cas i know that after all we have gone through and have done for eachother it would be worth it. i just wish he could see that. i really wish he could.. ILYSFM and IMYSFM2
well neways i thought i'd write all of this to just get it out. its not all that i wanted to say but i don't know how to express my feelings well enough for them to understand how i feel. but i tried to say it.
well there it is i guess. if i wrote it out in hand i could prolly say so much more.
well nothing is really new. i got snake bites last thursday. and last weekend i got to go see IKTPQ with jesse<3.andy,curtis.brendan in toronto. it was a good show but they should have played more. other then that everything seems like shit to me, i've tried my hardest but i know it will never be good enough for that one person i need more then ever. they were there for me, and i have always been there for them. and i always will be. i just don't want them to forget me..
well i know what i just wrote wont mean anything to anyone else but who it is about. but oh well. its how i feel and it prolly gunna be how i feel for awhile, unless things change and get better for me. but i don't see that happending anytime soon for me.. whats done is done. but i wish it wasn't..
bye <3
p.s jesse you make me smile really big.. ugh...
well first off the past 2 weeks have been SHIT for me. i'm been doing everything wrong and i've tried soo hard to fix everything that i have done and make it better but it seems like everything i try fixing gets worse in some ways. i mean somethings went back to normal. but ugh. if i could change anything i'd change what i did to hurt someone who i love more then ever. i've been trying so hard for the past 2 weeks now to get them to notice me and talk to me more again. but its seems like they don't give one shit about me anymore even though they still mean the world to me and i know no one else has ever meant this much to me and they should know that by now. but when i tell them that its like there saying (WTF I HATE YOU) or something. and it kills me when i talk to him. cas i feel like he really doesn't want to be talking to me. but i'd do anything just to get to talk to him for 2 hours. i know i prolly sound really gay right now but i don't give a shit. when someone means alot to you. you should show it and i'm doing that right now.
i've never felt so messed up in my life after all of this. i just wanna make things right again i truely do. but i feel no matter how much i say they mean to me or how hard i try i'm not gunna get them back. i've gotten to many chances but if i could trade him places and he was me. i'd give him another chance in a sec. cas i know that after all we have gone through and have done for eachother it would be worth it. i just wish he could see that. i really wish he could.. ILYSFM and IMYSFM2
well neways i thought i'd write all of this to just get it out. its not all that i wanted to say but i don't know how to express my feelings well enough for them to understand how i feel. but i tried to say it.
well there it is i guess. if i wrote it out in hand i could prolly say so much more.
well nothing is really new. i got snake bites last thursday. and last weekend i got to go see IKTPQ with jesse<3.andy,curtis.brendan in toronto. it was a good show but they should have played more. other then that everything seems like shit to me, i've tried my hardest but i know it will never be good enough for that one person i need more then ever. they were there for me, and i have always been there for them. and i always will be. i just don't want them to forget me..
well i know what i just wrote wont mean anything to anyone else but who it is about. but oh well. its how i feel and it prolly gunna be how i feel for awhile, unless things change and get better for me. but i don't see that happending anytime soon for me.. whats done is done. but i wish it wasn't..
bye <3
p.s jesse you make me smile really big.. ugh...