FIC: ST RPS -- I Need You So Much Closer (4/4)
Please see the Master Post for info, warnings, and author's notes.
Go Back
Part Eight
I need you so much closer
It had somehow gotten to this point remarkably quickly. Chris had invited Zach in after they returned from the movie, and then they were kissing on the couch, laughing about all of Chris’ various remote controls poking them from between the cushions, and somehow they’d ended up in Chris’ bedroom, both stripped to their underwear. Despite what they’d already done, they’d never ended up like this before, completely stripped down skin to skin.
“Zach,” Chris moaned as the other man dropped soft kisses down his neck, attempting to pick up the conversation they’d tried to start earlier. “You know what they say about getting back on the horse? I want to try it.”
Zach pulled away from Chris for a moment to clear his head. “Chris, we don’t have to do that. Not now, not ever if you don’t want to.”
“Your test came back clean - you showed me.”
“It’s not about that. You know what I mean.”
“Are you telling me you’d be completely comfortable in a relationship where you never… you know. Or bottomed exclusively?” Chris’ eyes searched Zach’s face intently. “Be honest with me.”
“Well, for you… I could get used to it. And maybe someday we could talk about-”
“That’s kind of a cop-out. Listen.” He took Zach’s hand and gripped it tightly. There was a confidence in his demeanor - not the cockiness or bravado he’d shown before, but something even stronger. “I’m not asking lightly - I think you know that. I don’t want to be afraid. Of being touched that way, of… of being penetrated. It’s good, right? Or it can be?”
Zach nodded, tracing his finger over the shell of Chris’ ear. “Really, really good.”
“So show me how good it can be, hot shot.”
“Okay. But we can wait, you know. As long as you want, until you’re ready.”
“I’m ready, Zach. I really think I am. I want to know what it’s supposed to feel like with someone you love.”
Zach froze, his finger still tracing Chris’ jaw. “You love me?”
Chris rolled his eyes like he was just barely refraining from letting out a “duh,” but Zach took a deep breath. In his heart, he wasn’t sure Chris was entirely ready, but he also knew what it was like to feel damaged, like no one would ever want him again. Chris needed to know how utterly desirable he was. “I do love you, Chris. That’s why I can wait for this, or live without it if I have to. It’s just one little thing. But if you can look me in the eye and tell me you’re ready… then I want this, too.”
With a soft chuckle, Chris said, “I think I’ve already done that, but just so there’s no confusion…” Chris flung himself back against the bed. “Zachary Quinto, I want you to take me in those big, strong arms, lay me down gently in a bed of roses, and make sweet, rapturous love to me until I forget my own name.”
Zach groaned, but he couldn’t keep the stupid grin off his face. “No need for sarcasm, Christopher. Except for the forgetting your own name. That part’s gonna come true.” He lay on the pillows and tugged Chris down to lay beside him, pressing a quick, soft kiss to his lips and shifting towards him until their bodies were nearly touching. “Roll your eyes all you want, but I need to say this: we’re going to go slow. If you’re scared, if something hurts or you need me to stop or slow down, just say the word. At any time. I won’t be angry or disappointed, I promise.”
“I know,” Chris said, his eyes wide, almost too large in his face from up close. “Thank you.”
Zach set a warm hand on Chris’ waist and let him cross the small distance to unite their lips in a kiss. True to his word, Zach kept the pace slow - as much as for himself as for Chris, enjoying the warmth of his skin, the soft sighs he made when Zach’s hands ghosted over the tender places on his body. His sides, above and just underneath the waistband of his boxers - he liked that. The patch of skin behind his ear. The small of his back.
But Chris’ hands weren’t idle either, and it was becoming increasingly difficult for Zach to concentrate on his own explorations. Chris found out pretty quickly just how sensitive Zach’s nipples were, tweaking them purposefully as his other hand buried itself in Zach’s hair, tugging gently and massaging his scalp. He even pushed a knee between Zach’s to let their legs tangle further down on the bed. Sensual, that was the word for it, Zach thought. He should have seen it before - Chris’ generous nature, his intensity, no wonder he enjoyed generosity in return.
Zach lost all track of time as he lost himself in the softness of Chris’ mouth, the warmth of his body. It took Chris tugging at his earlobe with sharp teeth, pressing his clothed erection urgently into Zach’s hip to spur him into action. He pulled back to look into Chris’ awestruck eyes. “Do you have what we need?” In lieu of a reply, Chris quickly rolled to the side to get the lube and a condom from the nightstand. Zach took them with a quick kiss. “Feel ready to take off your boxers?”
Nodding, Chris pushed the underwear to his knees and kicked them off as Zach did the same with his briefs. “There are a couple of ways we can do this,” Zach said. “It might be a little easier if you were on your hands and knees instead of-”
“No,” Chris interjected, gripping Zach’s wrist with surprising strength. “I want… I need to be able to see you.”
“Okay, that’s good,” Zach murmured, kissing Chris quickly. “Perfect. I want to look at you, too. Lay on your back for me?”
Chris complied, and Zach sat up to prop a few more pillows under his head. “You okay to spread your legs a little?” Chris did, though not wide enough for Zach to sit between them, but for now, that was fine. Zach stretched out on the bed again to Chris’ left, propping himself up on his elbow to be eye-to-eye with the other man. “I’m just going to touch you to start. Just the tips of my fingers, okay?”
“You don’t need to narrate everything,” Chris murmured, looking a little embarrassed, but Zach was firm.
“Yeah, I do. Non-negotiable. Besides, you love the sound of my elegant, sexy voice.”
That got a smile out of Chris. “So do you, apparently.”
“Mmm,” Zach hummed, running a hand slowly down Chris’ chest to wrap loosely around his rapidly swelling cock. “Now this… this is very good. So heavy and full.” Chris squirmed a little, blushing again but obviously enjoying the attention. “Be back to that in a minute. For now…” Zach let his hand trail down to cup Chris’ balls, rolling them firmly in his hand and drawing a gasp from Chris. Zach couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought to do that before. “Oh, somebody likes to have his balls played with, huh?”
“Yes,” Chris panted, clamping his eyes shut. Zach grinned and made a mental note of it, giving a last playful squeeze.
“Going a little lower now.” Zach stroked the spot behind Chris’ sac with gentle fingers, slowly lengthening his strokes until he was nearly touching Chris’ entrance. “Spread a little for me and hitch up your right leg,” he whispered, and Chris took a deep breath before obeying. Pressing a soft kiss to the other man’s shoulder, Zach let his middle finger drift even lower to circle Chris’ hole.
Chris gasped and Zach could feel him start to tense, so he said, “Relax, Chris. It’s okay - I’m right here. Look at me.” Chris’ eyes sprang open, dilated with lust and a tiny bit of fear. “God, you’re so beautiful like this,” Zach continued. “There are a ton of nerve endings here, you know. Can you feel them?”
“Y-yes,” Chris stammered, and Zach leaned over to kiss his mouth teasingly, drawing Chris’ tongue out to lick at his lips as he gently increased the pressure of his finger, stroking back and forth across Chris’ hole.
He ended the kiss slowly, whispering “Okay, gonna put some lube on my fingers now” against Chris’ lips. Unfortunately, Zach had to pull back entirely to slick his fingers, but he pressed closer against Chris’ side to make up for it. “Gonna touch you in the same place. It might feel a little cold at first.”
Chris tensed, but quickly relaxed as the lube warmed against his skin. “Can you spread your legs a little more?” Zach asked, and Chris did. “Good. So good. Now I’m going to press in a little bit, just the tip of one finger, and I want you to tell me how it feels.” Zach did as he said, not quite penetrating the ring of muscle but parting it.
“I’ve done this to myself,” murmured Chris. “Two fingers.”
“It’s different when it’s someone else touching you. Okay, a little more now,” Zach continued, now inserting his finger up to the first joint, until Chris clenched around him. “Still okay?”
“Y-yeah.”
“Do I need to stop?”Zach asked, trying to read the discomfort on Chris’ face.
“No, just give me a second.”
“Relax as much as you can. Remember, you’re in charge here. You control what we do or don’t do.”
“Okay,” Chris breathed, and the pressure around Zach’s finger eased a little. “Keep going.” Zach pushed in, his finger nearly buried to the hilt when Chris clamped down around him and gasped “Stop!”
Zach withdrew his hand immediately, rising up and helping to pull Chris to a sitting position. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“I just-” Chris huffed, blinking hard. “I just panicked a little, is all.”
“That’s okay,” Zach whispered, taking Chris into his arms and just holding him. “I’m glad you said something.”
“Can… can you kiss me?” Chris stammered.
“Of course,” Zach said, his lips already pressed to Chris’. He parted them gently, letting his tongue caress the inside of the other man’s mouth. Chris slowly relaxed in Zach’s embrace, pulling him in until there was no space left between their bodies. Zach eased back to lean his forehead against Chris’. “Is that enough for tonight?”
“No, I’m okay, I think it was just a momentary thing,” Chris said a little more confidently, pressing two fingers against Zach’s lips when he started to respond. “And don’t second guess me. I know you’re just looking out for me, but I told you to stop once. I can do it again if I need to.”
Kissing the fingers against his lips, Zach nodded. He knew that a large part of healing involved Chris reclaiming his body, setting his own limits, and he needed to let Chris do just that. “You okay to lie back down?”
“Yeah,” Chris replied, but as he went to shift down, a thought seemed to freeze him in place. “Zach, do you want to keep going? I know this has been about me, but do you even want to-”
“Yes,” Zach said before Chris could even finish the thought. “I want… Well, I want a lot of things. But mostly I want to make you feel good. And if that means stopping right here and sucking you off, or giving you a back rub, or - hell - making you waffles while dressed in a clown suit, then that’s what I’ll do. I never even thought I’d get to touch you like this, so anything, anything you let me do for you makes me happy.” As Zach finished speaking, Chris’ eyes darted away. “What?”
“Nothing, just…” Chris took a deep breath and averted his eyes. “I don’t think anybody’s ever wanted me so much.”
Zach chuckled humorlessly, his own eyes starting to burn a little. “Now that is a crime.”
Taking a deep breath, Chris smiled, his eyes now sparkling softly with mischief. “Okay, sapfest over. Now stick your fingers in me.”
“You do have a way with words, Pine,” Zach muttered, but he kissed the short stubble on Chris’ chin and scooted back down to his previous position. Chris had gone mostly soft in his panic, so Zach encircled the other man’s cock with slick fingers. Chris responded immediately, hardening quickly in Zach’s sure grip. Again, Zach took a moment to toy with the other man’s balls until Chris’ hips were twitching. Then he quickly applied more lube before replacing his hand deep between Chris’ legs. “Good?”
“Yeah,” Chris breathed, and Zach felt him consciously relax.
His other hand grasping Chris’ shoulder from beneath, Zach whispered, “One finger again.” He met less resistance as he pushed forward, his finger drawn in by the clutching heat of Chris’ body. Zach stilled his hand and let Chris grow accustomed to the sensation. When Chris’ breathing grew less erratic, Zach said, “Okay, I’m gonna move now. Gonna stretch you a little.”
Chris nodded and Zach did as he’d said, slowly pumping his hand. Without thinking, he grazed Chris’ prostate, causing him to inhale sharply and his hips to shoot up off the bed. “Sorry,” Zach said quickly, “should’ve warned you-”
“Don’t you dare apologize for that, you bastard,” Chris chuckled, a little breathless. “Not unless you make up for it by doing it again.”
God, it was good to hear Chris laugh. Zach nipped lightly at his shoulder to get his attention. “Ready for another finger?”
“Yeah, please.”
“So polite,” Zach murmured, pressing his first two fingers together and easing them inside of Chris. He was still so tight, but he didn’t clamp down again in fear, so Zach started a slow, smooth rhythm with his wrist. “Deserves a reward.” He pressed against Chris’ sweet spot, more deliberately this time, and Chris cried out even louder.
“’s good,” Chris gasped. “So- unnnnh, so good.”
Zach couldn’t keep the smile from stretching his lips. “Now I’m going to widen my fingers a little bit as I pull out. It might feel strange at first.” But Chris took it in stride, his inner muscles gradually relaxing. “One more finger, okay? I want you to be nice and open.” By the time Zach had three fingers in him, Chris was clutching the blanket beneath him and pushing back against Zach’s hand.
“Zach, I’m ready,” Chris said, writhing a little with impatience.
“You sure?”
“Yes, yes. Do it already.”
“Have a little patience; I’m not going anywhere,” Zach said, but he slowly began to withdraw his fingers. “You’re going to feel empty, but not for long, okay?”
Chris nodded and Zach sat back to roll on the condom and apply more lube as quickly as possible. With gentle hands, he spread Chris’ legs a little wider and knelt between them, positioning himself just right until the head of his cock pressed against Chris’ entrance. He started to push in, but felt Chris’ muscles spasm a little. “It’s okay,” he whispered, taking Chris’ hand and pressing a soft kiss to his palm. “Let me in, Chris.”
“I… I want to watch,” murmured Chris as he pushed up on his hands, his eyes wide and impossibly blue. Zach draped Chris’ right leg over his shoulder, hiking the other man’s hips up enough to give him a better view.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.”
Zach pushed forward again, pressing just the head of his cock past the tight ring of muscle. He could feel Chris starting to tense again and rubbed a reassuring hand over his stomach. “You’re doing so well. Relax for me. Push out.” Chris did, and Zach slid forward another inch, then two, moving with agonizing slowness. “Chris. Oh, Chris,” he babbled mindlessly, forcing his eyes open.
Chris was staring up at him, his pupils blown wide but his jaw tense. “Talk to me,” Zach whispered, cupping Chris’ face in his palm. “How do you feel?”
“O-okay. Full. Stretched. A little scared.”
“You feel like heaven, Chris,” Zach murmured, sweat starting to bead on his forehead at the effort of keeping still. He leaned in to kiss the full lips trembling in front of him. “And you look so amazing like this, so gorgeous. I feel like I can see right into you.”
“Keep talking.” Chris ran shaking hands up Zach’s sides. “And keep saying my name. That-that’s good.”
“I’m going to start moving soon. Don’t hold back, Chris - tell me what feels good, what doesn’t.”
“Touch me, please,” Chris gasped as soon as the words left Zach’s mouth. “I need your hand on me.”
“Yeah,” Zach murmured, gripping Chris’ slightly wilted erection and bringing it back to hardness with a few rough strokes. Chris tossed his head back with pleasure and Zach couldn’t stand it anymore - he had to move. His muscles shook with the effort of keeping his movements slow, but Chris was still so tight around him. Zach focused on his hand around Chris’ cock, his lips against Chris’ neck. Slowly, so slowly, Chris relaxed and the movement grew easier, more fluid.
It was more intense than Zach could remember it being in a long time. Not since he was much, much younger and less experienced had he been so wrapped up in his partner’s every movement, every sigh, that he forgot his own pleasure for minutes on end. Then the sensations would all come crashing in and he had to slow and grit his teeth to keep from giving in, and in the process his hand would loosen its grip on Chris’ cock until the other man moaned with need and Zach would stroke him hard in apology. It was stuttered and a little clumsy, full of stops and starts and more perfect than anything on earth had a right to be.
“Chris,” Zach moaned, rapidly nearing the end of his control. “I can’t- Are you-?”
“Yeah,” Chris breathed against Zach’s lips. “Yeah, almost there.”
Zach’s toes curled in for the final stretch as he shifted the angle of his thrusts, sped his hand until Chris’ fingers dug painfully into his biceps. By some miracle, Zach managed to hold off his own orgasm until he saw and felt Chris go over, face drawn tight with ecstasy. Then Zach let go, let it all go, came with a soft cry and a final thrust into Chris’ tight, clenching body that felt like the ground giving way beneath him.
When he came to his senses again, Chris was holding him tightly despite the fact that Zach must have been little but dead weight on top of him. Zach pushed up on his arms, pressing his mouth feverishly against Chris’. He was loath to separate them, didn’t want to lose the physical connection, but he knew it wouldn’t get any easier. “This… this might hurt a little,” Zach whispered.
“I know,” Chris said, a hand stroking through Zach’s hair.
Zach pulled out as carefully as he could, but Chris still winced. “It’s weird, I know,” Zach said quickly, disposing of the condom and tugging Chris back into his arms. “But it passes.”
Chris nodded, speechless now, his whole body trembling uncontrollably and at that moment Zach would’ve given him the heart from his chest if he thought that would calm him. He tried to soothe Chris’ shaking frame with soft strokes of his hands and whispered words - foolish, sentimental things he never thought he’d say to another person, though he meant every word - and eventually Chris began to come back from wherever it was he’d gone.
“Sorry,” Chris murmured shakily, as though he had anything to apologize for. “I’m better now.”
Chris looked up at him, and it was Zach’s turn to lose the ability to speak at the naked trust in Chris’ eyes.
&
When Zach woke up alone in an unfamiliar room, he tensed for a moment until he heard the TV playing quietly in the living room. It was only then that he realized he was safe in the tangle of sheets on Chris’ bed and Chris hadn’t fled in terror, and he could move again. Jumping out of bed, he brushed his teeth quickly and emerged from the bedroom to find Chris half-dozing on the couch.
“Hey,” Chris said, waking when Zach sat down beside him.
He couldn’t help scooting closer to Chris, still sleepy and rumpled, on the couch. “Everything alright?”
Chris flushed and looked down at his hands. “Yeah, I’m fine. Woke up about an hour and half ago and had a little freak out. I calmed myself down again, but by then you’d sort of spread out across the bed and I didn’t think I could lie back down without waking you, so I came out here.”
Zach frowned lightly and rubbed a hand across Chris’ shoulders. “Wish you’d woken me. You didn’t have to freak out on your own.”
“Actually, I kind of think I did.” Chris took a deep breath and looked Zach in the eye. “You’ve been amazing, but there are some things I need to deal with on my own.”
Zach tensed and pulled his arm back, suddenly afraid Chris was about to kick him out. “On your own?”
“Yeah.” Then Chris seemed to pick up on Zach’s anxiety. “Oh, no, not- I mean, not like life or anything. I’m not saying you need to go. Please don’t, I really want you to stay. I just meant that I’m better able to process the small stuff in my head these days.”
Smiling carefully, Zach set his hand over Chris’. “This isn’t small stuff, though.”
Chris grinned bashfully. “Well, I think freaking out over whether it would be too presumptuous to run to Intelligentsia and get you coffee and your favorite kind of scone would pretty much qualify as ‘small.’”
“Hardly,” Zach scoffed, tracing his thumb over the ridges of Chris’ knuckles. “A man’s choice of scone is a very substantial thing. I mean, if you’d come back with, I don’t know, cranberry carob walnut or some shit like that, we’d have to seriously re-evaluate things.”
Chris laughed and tugged Zach toward him. “Oh my god, just fucking kiss me already.”
As Zach fell forward, Chris leaned back against the cushions, letting Zach’s weight rest on him as their lips met. Zach kept it light at first, a soft caress, until Chris began to swipe at Zach’s lips with his tongue. Zach’s hands rose to cradle Chris’ face and they kissed deeply and lazily for a few long minutes.
Eventually, Zach pulled back with a sigh, resting his forehead against Chris’. “Seriously though, how are you feeling?”
“Sore,” Chris murmured. “Haven’t bent that way in a while. Or, you know, ever. Plus, I had to take a dump this morning, which was… educational.”
Zach chuckled sympathetically, kissing Chris’ forehead. “Yeah, there’s some stuff they don’t teach you in middle school sex ed.” Zach shifted his weight forward and Chris squirmed under him.
“And you - good dreams?”
“The best,” Zach said, kissing a line down the bridge of Chris’ nose. “Hey, tell you what, let’s take a shower.”
“Together?”
“No, I want you to hose me down in the backyard. Yes, together.”
Chris gently shoved Zach off him and stuck out his tongue. “Don’t think I won’t.” But he held up his hand and Zach grabbed it, pulling him to his feet and towards the bathroom.
Zach had seen the shower in the master bathroom before during Chris’ midnight cleaning binge, but in his exhausted state he hadn’t really contemplated how big it was. “Chris, that is a shower that is meant to be shared.”
Chris just laughed, but it turned to a soft moan when the hot water cascaded over his back and Zach felt his blood start to rush. He palmed himself loosely and stepped into the shower. Chris started to wash his hair and Zach did the same, thinking himself the bigger man for not drawing attention to Chris’ off-brand shampoo… which actually smelled kind of nice, come to think of it. Smelled like Chris.
They showered in silence, Zach dropping a kiss onto Chris’ shoulder whenever they switched places under the spray. It wasn’t until Chris started washing his own back that Zach took the washcloth from him and began stroking slowly over his skin.
“Mmm, s’good,” Chris said, pushing back into Zach’s touch.
When Zach reached the small of Chris’ back, he held the washcloth under the water until most of the suds were rinsed out. Then he reached down and gestured for Chris to spread his thighs.
The other man hesitated. “Zach?”
“Just gonna clean you up a little. Okay?”
“Y-yeah,” Chris stammered, widening his feet slightly.
Moving slowly and carefully, Zach let the washcloth dip between Chris’ cheeks, tenderly caressing Chris’ sore, swollen entrance. Chris gasped and stiffened but stayed still as Zach cleaned him. When Zach finished, he maneuvered Chris around until they were facing each other with Chris’ back to the spray. Zach reached around his waist to put his hands on Chris’ ass and gently spread him, letting the warm water run down the groove of Chris’ spine and over his hole. Chris groaned and swayed forward into Zach’s arms, resting his head against Zach’s shoulder and spreading his legs even more.
The profound vulnerability of Chris’ position wasn’t lost on Zach. “Feel good?” he whispered, and Chris’ shaky moan made Zach’s cock harden further. Chris wasn’t immune to it either, his erection pressing against Zach’s hip. Suddenly, inspiration hit. He eased Chris back on his own feet until the other man could stand without leaning on Zach and looked him in the eye. “Trust me?”
Chris eyed him a little warily. “Yes.”
“Don’t worry, this is a good thing.” He carefully maneuvered them until Chris was facing the wall of the shower. He glanced over his shoulder and Zach’s heart cracked a little at the look of concern on his face. Zach fit a hand to Chris’ cheek and kissed him as softly and sweetly as he could.
“Chris,” he whispered. “Your body…” He trailed off, letting his fingers run the length of Chris’ back. “Never dreamed I’d get to touch you like this. And, oh my god, you look even better wet.”
Chris laughed a little at that, some of the tension easing out of his frame. “Yeah?”
“Mmm,” Zach said, rubbing his mouth against the beads of moisture on Chris’ neck. “All slick and shiny and clean. Makes me want to touch.” He slid his hands to rest firmly on Chris’ hips. “And taste.” He began to trail slow, open-mouthed kisses down Chris’ spine until Zach was on his knees in the tub. He stroked his thumbs down Chris’ ass cheeks, spreading them a little with each stroke.
Zach felt the moment Chris understood where this was headed, because his legs started to tremble, but he stayed quiet. “Hey Chris,” Zach said softly, thinking of how to phrase it so as not to freak Chris out. “I want to put my mouth on you. Right here. Is that alright?”
“You want to?”
“Yeah, I do. You’re a little sore, right? Well… for me, it feels really good when I’m a little raw down there.”
Chris looked down at him, his face red, but he was suppressing a smile. “We’re all adults here. You don’t have to refer to it as ‘down there.’”
Zach rolled his eyes, but was glad Chris seemed to be open to the idea. “Fine then, would you be positively inclined toward application of my tongue to your anus?”
Wrinkling his nose, Chris shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Not disinclined. Just, I’ve never…”
“If it’s too weird, just say the word and I’ll stop. But I think you might like it.”
“Do you like it? Giving it, I mean?”
Zach’s knees protested a little against the tile floor, but he said, “I really, really do. Especially to newbies.”
Chris snorted with indignation, but spread his legs a little wider, and Zach took that as an invitation. He also took his time, kissing wetly over Chris’ tailbone, massaging his butt cheeks firmly but gently, nuzzling before going in for the kill. “Good?” he asked, purposefully letting his voice resonate over Chris’ delicate skin.
“Keep going.”
“Affirmative, Captain,” Zach said, unable to keep from grinning, which he eventually had to stop in order to be able to place a hot, open-mouthed kiss right over Chris’ hole. He thought he heard a strangled noise from up above, but it definitely wasn’t a “stop,” so he opened his mouth and let his tongue slowly trace the rim of Chris’ hole, not light enough to tease but not firmly enough to hurt.
This time, Chris spread his legs much wider, and Zach was able to open him a little better with his thumbs, coax that tight ring of muscle into relaxing as he swirled his tongue softly around it. Chris must have had his face buried against his arm, because the sounds he was making were muffled and indistinct, but they were unmistakably sounds of slightly embarrassed pleasure. Exactly what Zach was listening for.
Caught between the desire to tease Chris with his words or his tongue, Zach decided on the latter, licking firmly up over Chris’ hole and back down to his taint, sucking at the delicate skin there. This time, he felt Chris’ weight shift, and when Zach looked up, he could see that Chris had slid one hand between his body and the tile wall so he could fist his own cock in what looked to be a slow, tight grip. Again, Zach fought a smile to continue his oral ministrations.
When Chris’ hips began pushing back into Zach’s face, silently begging for more, Zach let the point of his tongue spear into Chris’ hole for the first time, and it made Chris jerk so hard he almost lost his footing. “Fuck,” he groaned. “Do that again.”
“Promise you won’t fall over on me and I will.”
Chris cursed softly, but found a firmer stance and leaned more of his weight on the wall, which happily gave a better angle for Zach’s neck when he once again spread Chris open. This time, he didn’t tease, just thrust in with his tongue in slow, twisting strokes as deep as he could. The noises Chris was making above him sounded almost like sobs, but Zach was also aware of Chris’ right hand speeding up.
It didn’t take long after that before Zach stabbed his tongue in particularly deep and Chris’ whole body went rigid. Zach closed his eyes and imagined Chris’ spunk spattering against the tiles in thick pulses along with the cadence of his moans.
With a few final, gentle licks, Zach turned his attention to his own arousal, which needed little encouragement until he was hard and thick in his own hand. Chris hadn’t moved, still trying to get his breath back, so Zach buried his face against Chris’ ass and stroked himself hard and fast, needing nothing but fast release.
From above him, he heard, “Zach, are you… Fuck, yeah.” He looked up to see Chris’ neck craned around to watch Zach on his knees behind him. One glance into the lusty satisfaction in those blue eyes and Zach was gone, shooting over his hand and groaning his pleasure into the fullness of Chris’ ass.
Chris gave him little time to recover, pulling him up quickly. Zach wasn’t sure Chris would want to kiss him after that, but in fact his intentions seemed to lie elsewhere. He took Zach’s left hand in both of his and methodically, thoroughly licked it clean.
He grinned, pressing a kiss to Zach’s palm. “Told you I couldn’t wait to taste you.”
Epilogue
So come on, come on...
Zach sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the packed suitcase sitting on the floor. “I don’t have to go.”
From his cross-legged perch next to him, Chris elbowed him. “Of course you do.”
“I don’t. I can still turn them down.”
“You’d be fucking crazy, and anyway, I won’t let you do it.”
Zach bit his lip to keep from saying what he was thinking. But I’ll miss you like I’d miss a limb. You need me. More than that, I need you. “They might extend the run. It’s in my contract. Maybe even through January.”
“If they extend the run, it’ll be because you are critically acclaimed and wildly popular.”
“Do you think I give a shit about that?”
Chris grinned. “Yes, I think you do.”
“Okay, I do,” Zach groaned. “I wish I didn’t.”
“It’s not Beach Blanket Bingo, Zach,” Chris said firmly, rubbing a soothing hand up and down Zach’s arm. “This is an important play. It was when it was written, and it is now. You are going to fucking own Louis, and people are going to leave the theater changed forever.”
“Too much,” Zach said, shaking his head.
“Okay,” Chris admitted, “I may have gone a little overboard there at the end, but I mean it. You need to do this. For both of us.”
Zach felt the dam in his heart start to crack as he actually began to consider it, not just as an abstraction, but as a reality. “I’d only be away a year. And before the run starts, I can fly back sometimes.”
“And I can come and visit you this summer,” Chris said, scooting over and tucking his chin over Zach’s shoulder from behind. Zach reached up and pulled Chris’ arms to wrap around his waist, just wanting to feel surrounded by his boyfriend. His boyfriend he was about to leave 3,000 miles behind. For nothing but a play.
“I’ll miss you so much,” Chris whispered in Zach’s ear, making it sound almost like a positive thing. “You’re my good heart.”
Zach’s eyebrows shot up. “You’ve read it?”
“Well, don’t act all surprised or anything. It only won the fucking Pulitzer and I majored in English.”
“I just meant…” Zach trailed off, because he didn’t know what he meant. He only knew that half his heart was already in New York, while the other half was right there in the bedroom, still holding him close. “It’s not a happy scene. Joe begs her not to leave, but he ends up alone anyway.”
“Come here,” Chris said, pulling Zach back until they were both lying on the bed, feet dangling off. Chris scooted in until they were nose to nose, and all Zach could see of Chris’ eyes was a bright blue blur. “I’ll be okay.”
“I know that.”
“I still have bad nights sometimes, but I can call you.”
“Always.”
“And if you have a bad night, you can call me.”
“Of course.”
“We’ll miss each other, and sometimes it will be impossible, but we’ll stay busy. And we’ll be okay.”
“But what if-”
“Don’t,” Chris said, silencing Zach with a quick, sharp kiss. “You know you can’t start that.” He pulled at Zach and maneuvered them until their chests were pressed together, their legs tangled, then buried his face against Zach’s neck. “You have a story to tell. And when you’re finished, you’ll come back to me.”
“I will.” Zach tried his hardest not to make it sound like a question, but he couldn’t see that far into the future - all he could see in his mind’s eye was Chris and the suitcase, but not together. Like two separate shots in a movie, establishing their disconnection.
“We’ve already survived,” Chris whispered, pulling back to kiss the tip of Zach’s nose and look him in the eyes. “Now we can just… live.”
Fin