Conversations with a dear friend
Dear Friend,
Well I guess I'm back to this again. When life is going good there's nothing to write about. No time to write it. Honestly though, things are just changing. I'm ready to go and see and do, and get the fuck out of here, for real. Its stupid to sit around anymore. This doesn't help the angst either.
I like going through old emails and feeling the thoughts I was thinking while writing them.
"
Life is something I constantly have a change of heart about.Everything around me. Sometimes I love things, other times I prefer to
pretend they don't exist. I'm not troubled by anything, I'm troubled by
everything. Right now I feel like I don't really care about any of it,
and I'll probably walk down to the beach and lay in the sand when I'm
done with this email. I love the beach at night, though I'm terrified of
the bums that I'm sure are lurking in the shadows....
Smile like you mean it.
I agree with you that last year was supposed to be a year of great
changes. I made many great changes, moved too many times over too many
miles, made a lot of bad decisions, and ended up much further behind
than I've ever been. After writing all that out, I can't look back with
regret still..
I have the strange ability to block nasty experiences basically out of
my memory. If I don't do everything in my power to forget, I'm obsessed,
running over every detail all the time, losing hours of sleep over what
I could have done differently, never moving on. The correct path to
healing is quite unclear to me still, but I can tell you my two options:
holding on or letting go. At the very least, even against your own
will, you should try and smile things off. You know I smile the biggest,
most uncontrollable smile every time I cry? Honestly... people who know
me call it the crysmile, and even though I can't control it, it helps.
Something about smiling makes it easier to stop. Hiding behind
smiles...like I said, it helps. Even if you fake them, they grow on you.
This isn't much for advice, but do try and look at the things that keep
you going. I know there are things you can't help but be taken away by
their beauty. "
Definitely takes me back. I wish I had someone to talk to right now.
Love,
Trysh
Well I guess I'm back to this again. When life is going good there's nothing to write about. No time to write it. Honestly though, things are just changing. I'm ready to go and see and do, and get the fuck out of here, for real. Its stupid to sit around anymore. This doesn't help the angst either.
I like going through old emails and feeling the thoughts I was thinking while writing them.
"
Life is something I constantly have a change of heart about.Everything around me. Sometimes I love things, other times I prefer to
pretend they don't exist. I'm not troubled by anything, I'm troubled by
everything. Right now I feel like I don't really care about any of it,
and I'll probably walk down to the beach and lay in the sand when I'm
done with this email. I love the beach at night, though I'm terrified of
the bums that I'm sure are lurking in the shadows....
Smile like you mean it.
I agree with you that last year was supposed to be a year of great
changes. I made many great changes, moved too many times over too many
miles, made a lot of bad decisions, and ended up much further behind
than I've ever been. After writing all that out, I can't look back with
regret still..
I have the strange ability to block nasty experiences basically out of
my memory. If I don't do everything in my power to forget, I'm obsessed,
running over every detail all the time, losing hours of sleep over what
I could have done differently, never moving on. The correct path to
healing is quite unclear to me still, but I can tell you my two options:
holding on or letting go. At the very least, even against your own
will, you should try and smile things off. You know I smile the biggest,
most uncontrollable smile every time I cry? Honestly... people who know
me call it the crysmile, and even though I can't control it, it helps.
Something about smiling makes it easier to stop. Hiding behind
smiles...like I said, it helps. Even if you fake them, they grow on you.
This isn't much for advice, but do try and look at the things that keep
you going. I know there are things you can't help but be taken away by
their beauty. "
Definitely takes me back. I wish I had someone to talk to right now.
Love,
Trysh