***
Well my dear ones,
I know I am way behind;
I lost my Dad a few weeks ago,
and I am still processing that...
...but this is an encouragement;
hence, I promise you that today’s blog
may start out dark, but will end well.
Losing my Mom six months ago was tough,
yet as long as one of your parents is still here
it’s kind of like the other one is, too
...if that makes any sense to you.
So when my Dad passed away,
it brought back reminders of the old days,
my clinical depression days,
my atheistic days,
...in a word, the bad old days.
Back then, wandering in a daze,
I stumbled upon a sign,
“If you need help, call #######”
I did, and wound up chatting with this pastor.
We spoke of many things,
and when he got to the goodness of God,
I asked him how we would feel if God allowed
his wife and kids to perish in an accident.
He looked at me and said,
“I would say, the Lord gave
and the Lord taken away...
blessed be the Name of the Lord.”
(He was quoting the Hebrew prophet Job,
but I didn’t know that at the time)
I was about to start laughing,
when I realized,
“This guy is serious;
he actually believes what he just said.”
Then I realized he had a power and stability
that I lacked, and that I might need to
spend some more time with him.
When he found out I was an engineer, he asked me
to research the Resurrection of Jesus,
like find out for myself whether it went down.
After 4 years I was pretty confident,
but I spent an extra 3 just to make sure
*shrugs*
for something that important,
I felt it was worth 7 years to be secure
in the knowledge that we have cause for hope.
Some years later,
I was hit with an even darker depression,
and I felt truly hopeless;
following Jesus had not stopped
the living hell of depression.
Fortunately, a wonderful counselor
(whose name I will never bother to look up;
to me, she will always be an angel)
pointed out,
“Do Christians get colds?”
Me: “Yes.”
Her: “Do they get the flu?”
Me: “Hmm, yeah.”
Her: “Christians aren’t immune to sickness
and depression is just another disease.”
The pointed out that the same God
who spoke the universe into existence
also smiles when He thinks about us,
the masterpiece of His creation;
and she gave me a wonderful verse to learn:
“For I know the plans I have for you,”
says the Lord, “plans for welfare
and not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope.”
--- Jeremiah 29:11
I’ve been free of clinical depression
for many years now,
but the loss of my Mom,
shortly followed by my Dad,
took its toll on me.
Yet in that tough time,
a song by Natalie Grant
really struck trough to me,
“The King of the World.”
[you can hear it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K7kplxNM48 or see the lyrics here:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nataliegrant/kingoftheworld.html ]
[OK; I know she really meant,
“King of the Universe,”
but that doesn’t fit the meter of her song,
so I’ll cut her some slack,
let her exercise her artistic license. =D ]
Her line,
“I try to put you in the box that I've designed,”
hit me hard; it reminded me of the book of essays
by C.S. Lewis, “God in the Dock”;
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_in_the_Dock Anyway, I listened to Natalie’s song
dozens of times (love her voice =>);
and now I’m getting on board with Job,
saying,
“The Lord gave
and the Lord taken away...
blessed be the Name of the Lord.”
(Job 1:21)
After 55 years of marriage,
our Dad didn’t want to hang out here
without our Mom;
he wanted to go and be with her.
Who am I to deny him that?
Our Mom is an awesome Mom,
and our Dad strove to love
and protect her and us.
Thank you, God, for the parents you gave us;
may they rest in You till we see them again.
This is the day the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.
--- Psalm 118:24
grace, peace, and love to you,
dave