(no subject)
So yeah, it's midway into exam season now... I forgot how boring studying could get. I've been having weird dreams lately... they're the kind that are kind of pleasant until you wake up and realize that they were only dreams.
I think I'm going crazy waiting for so many things to come to pass, now. It's like there's nothing I can do for anything, even myself, and there's no point to doing much besides waiting. I'm lonely and bitter about it and it's proving frustratingly hard to bring myself to care about pretty much anything anyway. I know what I SHOULD want, but none of it seems to matter. I want to move forward but my brain's stuck in the past.
Some days I want to just start running away, never looking back. To hell with the life I lead, the one I worked so hard to build... None of it feels like it has MEANING anymore.
I need to get out more. Being stuck alone at home just makes me think and that leads down well travelled roads that go nowhere but a mire.
I think I'm going crazy waiting for so many things to come to pass, now. It's like there's nothing I can do for anything, even myself, and there's no point to doing much besides waiting. I'm lonely and bitter about it and it's proving frustratingly hard to bring myself to care about pretty much anything anyway. I know what I SHOULD want, but none of it seems to matter. I want to move forward but my brain's stuck in the past.
Some days I want to just start running away, never looking back. To hell with the life I lead, the one I worked so hard to build... None of it feels like it has MEANING anymore.
I need to get out more. Being stuck alone at home just makes me think and that leads down well travelled roads that go nowhere but a mire.