Fic: Throw Your Dreams Into Space (Finn/Poe, PG)
For those of you keeping track at home, that's five weeks in one week (six counting the Skywalker Family Feels Journal). You guys, you know how much I love nightmare-comforting fic. I have written AT LEAST ten of them over the years, in all my fandoms. Couldn't resist, mate. And I will stop trawling Goodreads for fic titles when they stop being so perfect.
Title: Throw Your Dreams Into Space
Finn and Poe work out a lot of things when they start rooming together, including who has bad dreams on which night.
Author: Dala
Fandom: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Pairing: Finn/Poe
Rating: PG/General
Words: 1476
Written for: the Star Wars Fic Fest (link to original)
AO3 link here
Poe had warned Finn before they started bunking together that he sometimes suffered from nightmares. Not that often, usually, but it had ramped up since their dramatic escape from the Finalizer.
“Not my first stint in an Order cell, just the most recent.” His smile held a bit of an edge, though Finn only noticed because he was looking for it.
His stomach clenched at the memory of Poe, bloodied and blank-eyed, staggering out of that chamber. He’d almost panicked and bailed on the plan. But as they moved down the hallway Poe’s chin had lifted in defiance, his spine went straight as a rod, and he’d glanced sideways at Finn’s blast rifle as if calculating his chances at seizing it. Finn had immediately thought Okay, we might actually pull this off, and sure enough…
“So anyway,” Poe was saying, rubbing the back of his neck, “I just wanted to give you a word of warning that I might make some noise, or say stuff, or end up on the floor. And I totally understand if you want to change your mind about -”
“No,” Finn said, too quickly, but his embarrassment faded when the hint of shadow fell from Poe’s face.
It was nearly two weeks before anything happened. Two weeks of sharing a tiny room, of negotiating ‘fresher time, of hitting the canteen together, of Poe tagging along to Finn’s rehab sessions, of Finn tidying up Poe’s side when he wasn’t looking, of Poe leaving Finn little notes on flimsy everywhere: cookies on the nightstand, downloaded that book I mentioned to your datapad, transmission from Rey saved to comp, hey can you make sure BB-8 gets his diagnostic checks done later?, had an early meeting but GOOD MORNING (with a lopsided smiley face - this was after Finn had woken to find Poe gone and raced half-dressed all over the base because people disappeared with no word all the time, they did, and after that Poe made sure to let Finn know about any changes in his schedule).
It was the best two weeks of Finn’s life. He was learning what it was like to have a friend, and how to be a friend - hell, how to be a person. Sometimes he caught Poe looking at him like he might want to be something more, but Finn wasn’t sure if he was ready for that, and he knew Poe would never push him so it was okay. If he got woken up in the middle of the night from time to time, he considered that a more than fair trade.
“Poe?”
He got out of his own bed and stood next to Poe’s, not quite sure what he was supposed to do. Troopers were housed in dorms of six to ten until they reached adulthood, and they learned early on that no one would be coming to soothe them if they woke in the night. Once, when he was around seven, Finn had gotten up to comfort another boy who was crying quietly. The boy had hissed at him to go away and Finn had been transferred to another dorm the next morning. He did dream, but even his nightmares were muted; the medics had been amazed that his pulse barely rose while his delta waves spiked. They suspected it was due to some kind of supplement in his rations, but Finn couldn’t help them with that; he’d just taken what he was given.
Poe was tossing around, the sheets tangled about his legs. A sheen of sweat turned his face ghostly pale in the faint moonlight.
“No,” he moaned, one flailing arm hitting the wall. “I can’t, I can’t, please…”
His face twisted up in anguish and Finn’s heart twisted with it. He put a knee on the mattress and reached for Poe’s shoulder, shaking it gently.
“Hey, Poe, wake up,” Finn said, his voice low and steady. Poe shuddered violently, but didn’t pull away. “It’s just a dream.”
His eyes suddenly flew open and he drew himself up on an elbow. Chest heaving, he stared at Finn with wide, uncomprehending eyes.
“Finn?” His hand came up to clasp Finn’s forearm.
“Yeah, it’s me,” Finn said. The tension began to drain out of Poe’s body, though his eyes never left Finn’s. “You were having a bad dream, but you’re all right now.”
“Yeah,” Poe breathed, but he still looked so lost, so unmoored, so unlike the confident commander who had steered Finn through this new life on the other side of the war.
Some long-dormant instinct flared to life without any conscious thought from Finn. He climbed onto the bed and wrapped his arms around his friend.
It was like disabling a tractor beam; whatever dark place had gotten hold of Poe, he was released. His fingers curled into the back of Finn’s shirt, his ankle hooked over Finn’s calf, and he dropped his hot face into Finn’s neck.
Finn was no less alarmed by this reaction than he had been by his own. For a moment a small voice in his mind whispered, run.
Poe let out a hitching sigh against his skin.
Finn told that voice to go to hell.
I am not a stormtrooper, I’m not a cog in their machine, I can care about other people now - I can care for them.
“Is this right?” he asked, wondering where to put his hands. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah,” Poe repeated, his voice muffled by Finn’s collarbone. “But - could you -” Finn could feel him biting his lip. “Tighter?”
Finn obliged, bringing one hand up to cup the nape of Poe’s neck. He had always been fascinated by Poe’s hair, how it curled and fell into an artful mess (except for first thing in the morning when was just a mess, full stop). It was as soft and thick as it looked, he reflected, letting his chin fall to Poe’s head.
He wasn’t sure how long they lay like that. When Poe raised his head his eyes were clear, if a little sheepish.
“Thanks,” he said, loosening his grip though they were still sharing a pillow. “It helps, having someone here like this. I don’t often get the opportunity.” His mouth turned up at one end, approximating his usual good humor.
Finn couldn’t have begun to name what he was feeling if he took all night. “I can stay, if you want,” he offered, surprising them both.
“I’d like that, as long as you’re comfortable.” Poe shifted, putting a little more distance between them. Finn was at once relieved and disappointed
Faking a big yawn, Finn stretched an arm out to the side. “Pretty damn comfortable.”
Poe laughed, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. When Finn’s arm came down, he took Finn’s hand as easily as if they were walking in the clearing outside the base and he was pointing out constellations, telling stories about them that Finn was pretty sure weren’t true, but which he never looked up because he wanted them to be.
Finn stayed awake a bit longer, watching Poe’s long dark lashes flutter into more peaceful dreams. He stroked his thumb over the thin skin of Poe’s wrist and considered that he might be more ready for the something-more than he’d thought.
As luck would have it, Finn woke up screaming two nights later. Poe crept into his bed and rubbed firm hands down his back, which had spasmed when he fought his way out of the dream, until he was calm enough to talk about it.
There was fire in the sky, and Rey crying out for him to run, and Poe lying still at the base of a tree in the snow, and he could hear the broken humming on Kylo Ren’s lightsaber but he couldn’t make his feet move in any direction.
“I was wearing my armor.” He shook his head, trying to banish the lingering fear. “I’ve never had a dream like that before.”
Poe craned his neck to look him in the eye - they’d been tucked up so tight that Finn couldn't make out his expression. Now he could see that it was kind and patient and all those other good things that made up Poe Dameron.
“Why do you think you had it now?”
He could claim that bad dreams were catching, or that he’d been reading a thriller before bed, or that whatever drugs the Order had been slipping into his protein packs were finally wearing off. All of that might have been accurate, but that didn’t make it true.
The truth made Finn’s breath catch in his throat. His heartbeat sped up beneath Poe’s palm.
“Because now I’ve got something to lose.”
Finn touched his fingertips to Poe’s lips, feeling his slow exhale. Poe curled closer to him in the dark, and kissed his brow, and they both slept without dreaming.
“Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.”
― Anaïs Nin
Title: Throw Your Dreams Into Space
Finn and Poe work out a lot of things when they start rooming together, including who has bad dreams on which night.
Author: Dala
Fandom: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Pairing: Finn/Poe
Rating: PG/General
Words: 1476
Written for: the Star Wars Fic Fest (link to original)
AO3 link here
Poe had warned Finn before they started bunking together that he sometimes suffered from nightmares. Not that often, usually, but it had ramped up since their dramatic escape from the Finalizer.
“Not my first stint in an Order cell, just the most recent.” His smile held a bit of an edge, though Finn only noticed because he was looking for it.
His stomach clenched at the memory of Poe, bloodied and blank-eyed, staggering out of that chamber. He’d almost panicked and bailed on the plan. But as they moved down the hallway Poe’s chin had lifted in defiance, his spine went straight as a rod, and he’d glanced sideways at Finn’s blast rifle as if calculating his chances at seizing it. Finn had immediately thought Okay, we might actually pull this off, and sure enough…
“So anyway,” Poe was saying, rubbing the back of his neck, “I just wanted to give you a word of warning that I might make some noise, or say stuff, or end up on the floor. And I totally understand if you want to change your mind about -”
“No,” Finn said, too quickly, but his embarrassment faded when the hint of shadow fell from Poe’s face.
It was nearly two weeks before anything happened. Two weeks of sharing a tiny room, of negotiating ‘fresher time, of hitting the canteen together, of Poe tagging along to Finn’s rehab sessions, of Finn tidying up Poe’s side when he wasn’t looking, of Poe leaving Finn little notes on flimsy everywhere: cookies on the nightstand, downloaded that book I mentioned to your datapad, transmission from Rey saved to comp, hey can you make sure BB-8 gets his diagnostic checks done later?, had an early meeting but GOOD MORNING (with a lopsided smiley face - this was after Finn had woken to find Poe gone and raced half-dressed all over the base because people disappeared with no word all the time, they did, and after that Poe made sure to let Finn know about any changes in his schedule).
It was the best two weeks of Finn’s life. He was learning what it was like to have a friend, and how to be a friend - hell, how to be a person. Sometimes he caught Poe looking at him like he might want to be something more, but Finn wasn’t sure if he was ready for that, and he knew Poe would never push him so it was okay. If he got woken up in the middle of the night from time to time, he considered that a more than fair trade.
“Poe?”
He got out of his own bed and stood next to Poe’s, not quite sure what he was supposed to do. Troopers were housed in dorms of six to ten until they reached adulthood, and they learned early on that no one would be coming to soothe them if they woke in the night. Once, when he was around seven, Finn had gotten up to comfort another boy who was crying quietly. The boy had hissed at him to go away and Finn had been transferred to another dorm the next morning. He did dream, but even his nightmares were muted; the medics had been amazed that his pulse barely rose while his delta waves spiked. They suspected it was due to some kind of supplement in his rations, but Finn couldn’t help them with that; he’d just taken what he was given.
Poe was tossing around, the sheets tangled about his legs. A sheen of sweat turned his face ghostly pale in the faint moonlight.
“No,” he moaned, one flailing arm hitting the wall. “I can’t, I can’t, please…”
His face twisted up in anguish and Finn’s heart twisted with it. He put a knee on the mattress and reached for Poe’s shoulder, shaking it gently.
“Hey, Poe, wake up,” Finn said, his voice low and steady. Poe shuddered violently, but didn’t pull away. “It’s just a dream.”
His eyes suddenly flew open and he drew himself up on an elbow. Chest heaving, he stared at Finn with wide, uncomprehending eyes.
“Finn?” His hand came up to clasp Finn’s forearm.
“Yeah, it’s me,” Finn said. The tension began to drain out of Poe’s body, though his eyes never left Finn’s. “You were having a bad dream, but you’re all right now.”
“Yeah,” Poe breathed, but he still looked so lost, so unmoored, so unlike the confident commander who had steered Finn through this new life on the other side of the war.
Some long-dormant instinct flared to life without any conscious thought from Finn. He climbed onto the bed and wrapped his arms around his friend.
It was like disabling a tractor beam; whatever dark place had gotten hold of Poe, he was released. His fingers curled into the back of Finn’s shirt, his ankle hooked over Finn’s calf, and he dropped his hot face into Finn’s neck.
Finn was no less alarmed by this reaction than he had been by his own. For a moment a small voice in his mind whispered, run.
Poe let out a hitching sigh against his skin.
Finn told that voice to go to hell.
I am not a stormtrooper, I’m not a cog in their machine, I can care about other people now - I can care for them.
“Is this right?” he asked, wondering where to put his hands. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah,” Poe repeated, his voice muffled by Finn’s collarbone. “But - could you -” Finn could feel him biting his lip. “Tighter?”
Finn obliged, bringing one hand up to cup the nape of Poe’s neck. He had always been fascinated by Poe’s hair, how it curled and fell into an artful mess (except for first thing in the morning when was just a mess, full stop). It was as soft and thick as it looked, he reflected, letting his chin fall to Poe’s head.
He wasn’t sure how long they lay like that. When Poe raised his head his eyes were clear, if a little sheepish.
“Thanks,” he said, loosening his grip though they were still sharing a pillow. “It helps, having someone here like this. I don’t often get the opportunity.” His mouth turned up at one end, approximating his usual good humor.
Finn couldn’t have begun to name what he was feeling if he took all night. “I can stay, if you want,” he offered, surprising them both.
“I’d like that, as long as you’re comfortable.” Poe shifted, putting a little more distance between them. Finn was at once relieved and disappointed
Faking a big yawn, Finn stretched an arm out to the side. “Pretty damn comfortable.”
Poe laughed, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. When Finn’s arm came down, he took Finn’s hand as easily as if they were walking in the clearing outside the base and he was pointing out constellations, telling stories about them that Finn was pretty sure weren’t true, but which he never looked up because he wanted them to be.
Finn stayed awake a bit longer, watching Poe’s long dark lashes flutter into more peaceful dreams. He stroked his thumb over the thin skin of Poe’s wrist and considered that he might be more ready for the something-more than he’d thought.
As luck would have it, Finn woke up screaming two nights later. Poe crept into his bed and rubbed firm hands down his back, which had spasmed when he fought his way out of the dream, until he was calm enough to talk about it.
There was fire in the sky, and Rey crying out for him to run, and Poe lying still at the base of a tree in the snow, and he could hear the broken humming on Kylo Ren’s lightsaber but he couldn’t make his feet move in any direction.
“I was wearing my armor.” He shook his head, trying to banish the lingering fear. “I’ve never had a dream like that before.”
Poe craned his neck to look him in the eye - they’d been tucked up so tight that Finn couldn't make out his expression. Now he could see that it was kind and patient and all those other good things that made up Poe Dameron.
“Why do you think you had it now?”
He could claim that bad dreams were catching, or that he’d been reading a thriller before bed, or that whatever drugs the Order had been slipping into his protein packs were finally wearing off. All of that might have been accurate, but that didn’t make it true.
The truth made Finn’s breath catch in his throat. His heartbeat sped up beneath Poe’s palm.
“Because now I’ve got something to lose.”
Finn touched his fingertips to Poe’s lips, feeling his slow exhale. Poe curled closer to him in the dark, and kissed his brow, and they both slept without dreaming.
“Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.”
― Anaïs Nin