Oct 20, 2014 12:05
Mon, 05:50 : #Aries : Everything will go wrong today. Including this horoscope. Mon, 05:50 : #Taurus : Hobbies may have to take a back seat this week as your spleen dissolved into your gastric juices. Mon, 05:50 : #Gemini : Like a beetroot. Are you thinking of a beetroot? Are you being dirty? Cut it out!! Mon, 05:50 : #Cancer : Open all boxes with caution today. Some boxes may contain deadly surprises and traps. Mon, 05:50 : #Leo : Fly in the face of conventional wisdom and wear a policeman's helmet, duct-taped over your genitals. Mon, 05:51 : #Virgo : Today might be a good day to walk around with your arms stretched forwards in a "mummy" style. Mon, 05:51 : #Libra : The phenomenon of time standing still may occur to you numerous times today. Mon, 05:51 : #Scorpio : Love: 80%. Money: 45%. Life: 12%. Happiness: 30%. TheSpoof: 100%. Mon, 05:51 : #Sagittarius : He who makes love at awkward angle, gets back problems for next day. Mon, 05:51 : #Capricorn : You claim no-one is able to see the future, and yet I foresee you'll understand this never to be not untrue in your own destiny.
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