(no subject)
OK, you know there's a fucking problem if you wake up 4 hours before you have to sobbing because you don't want to go to your class.
I had a dream that Jason Yi critiqued a project I made, and of course he said it sucked. That then woke me up at 7 (that and the sounds of Alex and Erica getting ready to go), and I've been seething ever since, thinking of how much I hated him, and then eventually I just starting sobbing.
I don't know why I'm so upset that he doesn't like my shit. Probably because he holds the strings to my success... if I get an F on everything, that definitely hinders me in my art career. And I keep running over and over in my head why I hate him so much... I think I've arrived to the conclusion that he doesn't give constructive criticism. He just gives criticism. I showed him my animation and he said, "It's very rough to me." "Your sound effects sound like you got them off the internet. They're overbearing." And, my favorite: "I don't get it."
WELL TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO FUCKING IMPROVE IT, DOUCHEBAG.
And OK well it's probably my duty to ask him to tell me that, but I've never had to do it before. Professors had always been, "This is weak, maybe if you did this and this to it..." and it's like, "OK, cool". I can take critique like that. I'm not gonna ASSUME that Jason that I know what he's talking about it.
I guess the thing that hit me the hardest in my more recent critique was when he said: "YOU'RE the animation major."
Which made me realize that, by choosing to do an animation for my project, I put myself in possibly the worst situation ever. Because I am an animation major, I'm expected to know SO much about it and fucking do the best job in the fucking world, and anything less than that, well, CLEARLY I don't belong in that major. Well no, I don't know everything about it. I did an animation because a) I think I can get my ideas across that way and b) I could do something that didn't require me absolutely killing myself because of how much I hated it.
I think the worst part about this entire situation is that Jason is probably right about everything and I'm just whining because boo hoo, someone doesn't like my art. I fucking did this with Mr. Wald, too, and he turned out to be right. I hate that I care so much about what other people think.
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I don't know. I think maybe I'll find Barany later and ask him to critique my animation. Because, unlike Jason, he's actually HELPFUL and he actually knows what he's TALKING about and I actually RESPECT him . And I will fix it according to what Barany says. And then when I show it to Jason and he still doesn't get it, I will just automatically assume that he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about and I can have closure with that.
God. This is ridiculous.
I had a dream that Jason Yi critiqued a project I made, and of course he said it sucked. That then woke me up at 7 (that and the sounds of Alex and Erica getting ready to go), and I've been seething ever since, thinking of how much I hated him, and then eventually I just starting sobbing.
I don't know why I'm so upset that he doesn't like my shit. Probably because he holds the strings to my success... if I get an F on everything, that definitely hinders me in my art career. And I keep running over and over in my head why I hate him so much... I think I've arrived to the conclusion that he doesn't give constructive criticism. He just gives criticism. I showed him my animation and he said, "It's very rough to me." "Your sound effects sound like you got them off the internet. They're overbearing." And, my favorite: "I don't get it."
WELL TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO FUCKING IMPROVE IT, DOUCHEBAG.
And OK well it's probably my duty to ask him to tell me that, but I've never had to do it before. Professors had always been, "This is weak, maybe if you did this and this to it..." and it's like, "OK, cool". I can take critique like that. I'm not gonna ASSUME that Jason that I know what he's talking about it.
I guess the thing that hit me the hardest in my more recent critique was when he said: "YOU'RE the animation major."
Which made me realize that, by choosing to do an animation for my project, I put myself in possibly the worst situation ever. Because I am an animation major, I'm expected to know SO much about it and fucking do the best job in the fucking world, and anything less than that, well, CLEARLY I don't belong in that major. Well no, I don't know everything about it. I did an animation because a) I think I can get my ideas across that way and b) I could do something that didn't require me absolutely killing myself because of how much I hated it.
I think the worst part about this entire situation is that Jason is probably right about everything and I'm just whining because boo hoo, someone doesn't like my art. I fucking did this with Mr. Wald, too, and he turned out to be right. I hate that I care so much about what other people think.
--------------
I don't know. I think maybe I'll find Barany later and ask him to critique my animation. Because, unlike Jason, he's actually HELPFUL and he actually knows what he's TALKING about and I actually RESPECT him . And I will fix it according to what Barany says. And then when I show it to Jason and he still doesn't get it, I will just automatically assume that he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about and I can have closure with that.
God. This is ridiculous.