BEST / WORST OF 2010: attempt # 2
The_Colombian's TOP TEN Films of 2009
10) BLACK DYNAMITE
is the film consistently hilarious throughout its 90 minute run time? Almost. Is it the most spot-on homage to Blaxploitation ever created? Hell yeah, muthaf*cka.
9) I LOVE YOU, MAN
Hysterical, light-hearted, and surprisingly relevant to my own male bonding skills. That, and Paul Rudd's "slap-a the bass" scene still makes me piss myself a little.
8) STAR TREK
Watching a hardcore Trekkie hate on this movie is like watching a starving child piss on a 20 oz steak. An amazing sci-fi film that just happens to have some dude named James T. Kirk as the protagonist, STAR TREK gave the film series exactly what it needed: A great film.
7) THE HURT LOCKER
Gripping, suspenseful, and completely unhinged, Katheryn Bigelow's amazing 2009 release is the exact same thing it chooses to focus on, a ticking time bomb...waiting to obliterate anyone not equipped with the balls to deal with it.
6) WATCHMEN
Yeah. You forgot this amazing flick came out in 2009, didn't you? That's right. Walk away. You SHOULD feel ashamed.
5) DRAG ME TO HELL
How the hell does a film make you gag and laugh hysterically at the same time?
Oh wait...this was directed by Sam Raimi. Forget I asked.
4 ) UP
This is one of those films that I screen for anyone at the drop of a hat. Seriously...what other cartoon makes you cry at LEAST twice within a storyline that might just be Pixar's best thus far? Oh, and I want that dog collar.
3) DISTRICT 9
Every time I see it something new blows me away. Most recently it's Sharlto Copley's amazing performance as Wikus, a feat that was apparently achieved with very little experience/training. And then there's those guns. Holy shit.
2) INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
Two words misspelled, an entire war's end re-created, and a director's masterpiece achieved. He even says so in the script. Bon-Jorno, indeed.
1) ZOMBIELAND
I haven't had this much fun in the theater since that HAMLET 2000 blowjob. Seriously, Woody Harrelson slaying zombies while hosting one of the coolest surprise cameos of all time? I've seen it 5 times already, and I'm taking the day off when it hits Blu-Ray.
HONORABLE MENTION:
PANDORUM
A sci-fi flick that features solid performances and a twist-and-turn screenplay that took me by complete surprise. Ben Foster is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors, and PANDORUM's a piece of evidence that backs me up 100%.
BEST DOCUMENTARY:
The first truly "eye-opening" documentary I've ever experienced. And yes, I STILL eat meat...but I now shop at local Farmer's Markets and spend hours choosing the cuts I buy.
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The_Colombian's TOP THREE Worst Films of 2010
3) EXTRACT
A Mike Judge comedy about the workplace with two laughs in it...and they come from Ben Affleck? What the hell happened?
2) TRANSFORMERS 2
Things I can't explain: Why this is in my Blu-Ray collection. Ghosts. Megan Fox.
1) G.I. JOE
Baroness is Duke's ex-girlfriend. Cobra Commander's her brother, Duke's former best friend, and is played by the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun. Black Eyed Peas are on the soundtrack. Channing Tatum exists. I cry daily.
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Last but not least...
BEST VIDEO GAME OF 2009:
CALL OF DUTY:
MODERN WARFARE 2
If you know me, and this choice surprises you...then you don't know me. Like...at all.
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Happy 2010, y'all.
-SK