Beaming down a letter and rollerblades
What an odd day.
First, as I'm parking my car at work I feel something hard pushing into my hip. You get used to the way everything in your car feels, and this sensation was alien to me. I look down and see my cordless phone. No, this was not a cell phone. This was my cordless landline telephone. I had made a call before I left for work and clipped it to my belt and forgot to hang it up. So my cordless phone hung out in my car all day while I delivered mail.
Which brings us to odd thing number two. As I delivered the mail to a particular house, a man emerges from it and asks if the large bundle of mail I gave him was everything for him today. Well, seeing as I don't randomly not deliver a letter for shits and giggles, I obviously replied that, yes, I gave him all his mail. He explains to me that his mother in Puerto Rico sent him a letter through three day priority mail and that he should have it today. I asked what day and time she mailed it. He said 2:30 on Friday (it was now Tuesday).
Now, I really didn't feel like getting into explaining that three day priority mail is only guaranteed for letters mailed IN the country, nor did I want to delve anywhere near the topic that 3 day mail isn't even guaranteed to arrive in 3 days regardless. But I also didn't want to lie. So I told him that because she mailed it after noon, on a weekend, from out of the country, that it was probably just a day behind.
"You'll probably get it tomorrow," I said.
He responds, "Oh...well in that case, she mailed it to me on Thursday."
WHAT!?! *VzzzzzzzziP!* Holy crap, the letter just materialized in my hand!
In that case, she mailed it to me on Thursday???? Was he freakin' retarded? Did he honestly think that just changing the date would make the letter appear? Needless to say I was dumbfounded...and wanting to slap the back of this ninny's head. But I regained my professionalism...well...sort of, and said that I still didn't have the letter, and he'd probably get it tomorrow.
The last notable thing of the odd day was nothing odd at all, but just beautifully ironic. I was walking down the street and a little old lady came out of her apartment to get her mail from me. She commented on how beautiful the weather was (by the way, a mailman is one of the few people on this earth who talk about the weather not because we're dull conversationalists, but because we really care about it. We're out in it all day, we experience every condition possible whether we want to or not. we could all probably be meteorologists on the side if we wanted to.)
She then says, "I bet you'd love to be wearing a pair of those in-line skates to deliver your route, huh?"
Not pointing out that my entire route is walking up and down stairs, I just say, "Nah. I'm about as graceful as an epileptic hippo. I'd be on my butt before I even got to my first stop."
She laughed and said, "Oh, I'm sure that's not true."
At which point, I immediately manage to trip on and fall over a beer can on the sidewalk.
"Case in point," says I.
"Oh."
First, as I'm parking my car at work I feel something hard pushing into my hip. You get used to the way everything in your car feels, and this sensation was alien to me. I look down and see my cordless phone. No, this was not a cell phone. This was my cordless landline telephone. I had made a call before I left for work and clipped it to my belt and forgot to hang it up. So my cordless phone hung out in my car all day while I delivered mail.
Which brings us to odd thing number two. As I delivered the mail to a particular house, a man emerges from it and asks if the large bundle of mail I gave him was everything for him today. Well, seeing as I don't randomly not deliver a letter for shits and giggles, I obviously replied that, yes, I gave him all his mail. He explains to me that his mother in Puerto Rico sent him a letter through three day priority mail and that he should have it today. I asked what day and time she mailed it. He said 2:30 on Friday (it was now Tuesday).
Now, I really didn't feel like getting into explaining that three day priority mail is only guaranteed for letters mailed IN the country, nor did I want to delve anywhere near the topic that 3 day mail isn't even guaranteed to arrive in 3 days regardless. But I also didn't want to lie. So I told him that because she mailed it after noon, on a weekend, from out of the country, that it was probably just a day behind.
"You'll probably get it tomorrow," I said.
He responds, "Oh...well in that case, she mailed it to me on Thursday."
WHAT!?! *VzzzzzzzziP!* Holy crap, the letter just materialized in my hand!
In that case, she mailed it to me on Thursday???? Was he freakin' retarded? Did he honestly think that just changing the date would make the letter appear? Needless to say I was dumbfounded...and wanting to slap the back of this ninny's head. But I regained my professionalism...well...sort of, and said that I still didn't have the letter, and he'd probably get it tomorrow.
The last notable thing of the odd day was nothing odd at all, but just beautifully ironic. I was walking down the street and a little old lady came out of her apartment to get her mail from me. She commented on how beautiful the weather was (by the way, a mailman is one of the few people on this earth who talk about the weather not because we're dull conversationalists, but because we really care about it. We're out in it all day, we experience every condition possible whether we want to or not. we could all probably be meteorologists on the side if we wanted to.)
She then says, "I bet you'd love to be wearing a pair of those in-line skates to deliver your route, huh?"
Not pointing out that my entire route is walking up and down stairs, I just say, "Nah. I'm about as graceful as an epileptic hippo. I'd be on my butt before I even got to my first stop."
She laughed and said, "Oh, I'm sure that's not true."
At which point, I immediately manage to trip on and fall over a beer can on the sidewalk.
"Case in point," says I.
"Oh."