Live Fast, Die Young
I'm sick of this city. I'm sick of the people. I'm sick of my family. I'm sick of that room, that bed. I'm sick of everything.
I'm sick of my stupid fucking job. I'm sick of them calling me everyday that I'm off asking if I'd like to come to work. Fuck you.
I'm sick of you. I'm sick of the way you act. I'm sick of the way they act. I'm sick of cigarettes. I'm sick of addictions. I'm sick of stupid words that aren't real. I'm sick of trying. I'm sick of failing. I'm sick of it all.
I've drank more in the past week then I have in the past 3 months.
Last night I was so drunk and I still opened the door, hopped in, turned the key, and drove my sorry ass home.
I still haven't gotten a DUI, I still haven't crashed.
Why do I seem so fucking lucky?
Why do I never get caught and why do I always get away with it?
Maybe I want to get caught, maybe I want to fucking crash.
Last night I drank 8 martinis and a 6 pack.
I saw drama, and heartbreak.
I hate seeing my friends cry, especially over somebody who is not worth it.
But at the same time, while she was laying in my lap with tears falling, I wiped them away and listened. In the back of my head I was glad that I don't get myself into that.
The past few years I've been holding things back. Not talking, because who wants to listen.
Nobody believes in secrets anymore. Fuck I'm not even sure if I do.
I've told secrets of other peoples, but never mine.
Never my own fucking secrets.
I protect myself I guess..
Against the world, protecting myself from everyone else.
Never letting anyone in, never letting myself out.
He broke the fucking barrier and he got in.
I hate how he's everywhere.
The stupid necklace, the stupid fucking ring that stains my fingers.
I'm going to bury it. I'm going to bury it all, fucking burn it.
I gotta get you out of my head.
AHHH.
I almost had a breakdown tonight.
I almost fucking lost it.
I don't know why.
I can't control this shit anymore.
I can't control my own fucking life.
Fuck you.
Fuck each and every one of you cock suckers.
My father does more drugs then I do. My mother is a gold digger.
I sit in the background to scared to say anything.
Go ahead and touch me, it's not like you haven't already.
You sick fuck. Go right the fuck ahead.
You wanna know who I am?
Well here I am, on public display.
So fuck you, fuck your friends.
Fuck your life.
Fuck me.
Why am I so mad?
I told something to somebody, I think he got the wrong idea.
I do dumb shit when I'm drunk. Tonight being no exception.
Look what I'm fucking typing.
The most unintelligent, rambled, idiotic things.
Things that should stay in my own fucking mind or on the paper hidden behind my bed.
Mommy and daddy will pay top dollar for a stupid fucking doctor to sit there and tell me I have problems.
No fucking shit, everyone has problems.
So maybe I'm selfish, but your greedy.
The only reason for this is so that your reputation isn't punctured, so it doesn't reflect the company and so the money can keep rolling in.
Fuck the money, it's all about money, forget the fucking money for a day.
Please. just stop.
Stop with the pills and prescriptions.
Stop with the lies.
Just tell me the truth.
Tell him the truth.
Just stop.
You might as well just put the barrell against my temple and allow your finger the flex up the BANG!
It's all over...
But wait..your pulling it all wrong.
It doesn't go that way. no no no.
I'm not crazy. I swear.
Fucking pathetic bullshit.
You just lost half of your intelligence if you just wasted the two minutes to read that.
I'm not even sure what I wrote.
I don't know why.
I'm sorry.
I don't say sorry because I never am.
But this time I am...Please, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the things I've done.
I'm sorry for the way I've acted.
I'm sorry for the booze that I drank.
I'm sorry I drove.
I'm sorry I dissappointed you.
I'm sorry.
You have no idea how sorry I am.
I'm sorry for being me.
I'm sick of my stupid fucking job. I'm sick of them calling me everyday that I'm off asking if I'd like to come to work. Fuck you.
I'm sick of you. I'm sick of the way you act. I'm sick of the way they act. I'm sick of cigarettes. I'm sick of addictions. I'm sick of stupid words that aren't real. I'm sick of trying. I'm sick of failing. I'm sick of it all.
I've drank more in the past week then I have in the past 3 months.
Last night I was so drunk and I still opened the door, hopped in, turned the key, and drove my sorry ass home.
I still haven't gotten a DUI, I still haven't crashed.
Why do I seem so fucking lucky?
Why do I never get caught and why do I always get away with it?
Maybe I want to get caught, maybe I want to fucking crash.
Last night I drank 8 martinis and a 6 pack.
I saw drama, and heartbreak.
I hate seeing my friends cry, especially over somebody who is not worth it.
But at the same time, while she was laying in my lap with tears falling, I wiped them away and listened. In the back of my head I was glad that I don't get myself into that.
The past few years I've been holding things back. Not talking, because who wants to listen.
Nobody believes in secrets anymore. Fuck I'm not even sure if I do.
I've told secrets of other peoples, but never mine.
Never my own fucking secrets.
I protect myself I guess..
Against the world, protecting myself from everyone else.
Never letting anyone in, never letting myself out.
He broke the fucking barrier and he got in.
I hate how he's everywhere.
The stupid necklace, the stupid fucking ring that stains my fingers.
I'm going to bury it. I'm going to bury it all, fucking burn it.
I gotta get you out of my head.
AHHH.
I almost had a breakdown tonight.
I almost fucking lost it.
I don't know why.
I can't control this shit anymore.
I can't control my own fucking life.
Fuck you.
Fuck each and every one of you cock suckers.
My father does more drugs then I do. My mother is a gold digger.
I sit in the background to scared to say anything.
Go ahead and touch me, it's not like you haven't already.
You sick fuck. Go right the fuck ahead.
You wanna know who I am?
Well here I am, on public display.
So fuck you, fuck your friends.
Fuck your life.
Fuck me.
Why am I so mad?
I told something to somebody, I think he got the wrong idea.
I do dumb shit when I'm drunk. Tonight being no exception.
Look what I'm fucking typing.
The most unintelligent, rambled, idiotic things.
Things that should stay in my own fucking mind or on the paper hidden behind my bed.
Mommy and daddy will pay top dollar for a stupid fucking doctor to sit there and tell me I have problems.
No fucking shit, everyone has problems.
So maybe I'm selfish, but your greedy.
The only reason for this is so that your reputation isn't punctured, so it doesn't reflect the company and so the money can keep rolling in.
Fuck the money, it's all about money, forget the fucking money for a day.
Please. just stop.
Stop with the pills and prescriptions.
Stop with the lies.
Just tell me the truth.
Tell him the truth.
Just stop.
You might as well just put the barrell against my temple and allow your finger the flex up the BANG!
It's all over...
But wait..your pulling it all wrong.
It doesn't go that way. no no no.
I'm not crazy. I swear.
Fucking pathetic bullshit.
You just lost half of your intelligence if you just wasted the two minutes to read that.
I'm not even sure what I wrote.
I don't know why.
I'm sorry.
I don't say sorry because I never am.
But this time I am...Please, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the things I've done.
I'm sorry for the way I've acted.
I'm sorry for the booze that I drank.
I'm sorry I drove.
I'm sorry I dissappointed you.
I'm sorry.
You have no idea how sorry I am.
I'm sorry for being me.