Case of the Ex
My Ex came online last night. I didnt realize it had been 6 months since we "broke up". In November, the final blow was when she said she loved me and wanted to be with me forever, and about 3 days later she fucked some guy she'd see at some club. Bullshit bullshit bullshit. Since then we've talked every month or so, with her comming online telling me she loves me and wants to get back with me(I was undecided) and it would really affect my moral for a few days. Then I wouldnt see her again for a month. Needless to say she came online last night, and things didnt go so well. First I was complainging about two of my female friends in horrible situations and she got bitchy because she wanted me to put attention on her and not them, no matter how serious it was, and the second thing she said was a pretty damn big bombshell. She thought she was pregnant. Last month she fucked a guy, and to her knowlege he didnt wear a condom and came inside her....and she was scared as all hell.
And blah, I just read back on the MSN convo, well, half of it. Its horrible. I cant stand it. She has no confidence in herself, yet everything has to be about her. After what shes put me through, she gets upset at me like I shouldnt get angry, because she doesnt intentionally fuck things up. I love her, yet I hate her as well. I love what shes done for me but hate what she did to me. That probably wont make sence. I want our relationship to be what it was but it cant be. It never will be. And now shes trying to guilt me back into the relationship like I have something that can be blambed on me
Well fuck her. Im going to bed. I dont want to speak to her again, and yet I do. But whatever, no matter how much she begs, its over, and its all her fault.
Ugh. Then she rambles on about how I'm giving up because I wont start the relationship again, even thou she promises not to hurt me again, but shes given me these lines before. And Im giving up? I sacrificed alot for her, I tried to hard to keep it together, shes the one who spat on our relationship.
And now, to end with a quote from the convo that still rings in my head.
" just don't understand how you can want to be with me and I'm practically begging you to be... and I'm here waiting to love and embrace you and be completely faithful to you and yet you're not willing to take that chance and let it all slip on by. I miss us so much. We'd sit for hours and talk about anything and everything. We were happy, and we loved each other so much and we both knew it..you think it can't be like that again, but it can. quit living in the past.. nothing can be helped."
Well, what can I say. You step on a guys heart 6 times, its a bit hard to trust the person.
Pity me. Pity me.
And blah, I just read back on the MSN convo, well, half of it. Its horrible. I cant stand it. She has no confidence in herself, yet everything has to be about her. After what shes put me through, she gets upset at me like I shouldnt get angry, because she doesnt intentionally fuck things up. I love her, yet I hate her as well. I love what shes done for me but hate what she did to me. That probably wont make sence. I want our relationship to be what it was but it cant be. It never will be. And now shes trying to guilt me back into the relationship like I have something that can be blambed on me
Well fuck her. Im going to bed. I dont want to speak to her again, and yet I do. But whatever, no matter how much she begs, its over, and its all her fault.
Ugh. Then she rambles on about how I'm giving up because I wont start the relationship again, even thou she promises not to hurt me again, but shes given me these lines before. And Im giving up? I sacrificed alot for her, I tried to hard to keep it together, shes the one who spat on our relationship.
And now, to end with a quote from the convo that still rings in my head.
" just don't understand how you can want to be with me and I'm practically begging you to be... and I'm here waiting to love and embrace you and be completely faithful to you and yet you're not willing to take that chance and let it all slip on by. I miss us so much. We'd sit for hours and talk about anything and everything. We were happy, and we loved each other so much and we both knew it..you think it can't be like that again, but it can. quit living in the past.. nothing can be helped."
Well, what can I say. You step on a guys heart 6 times, its a bit hard to trust the person.
Pity me. Pity me.