Ramble!
You ever have that feeling where you are capable of something in one reality but inefficient with the same skill in another? A perfect example is my ability to speak...I don't "s-s-s-s-stutter", but I do jumble up my words. For example: "Oh you know that thing..the thing...the..um...spore! Yeah, it's...etc."...anyways, what I'm saying is I can't speak that clearly in reality. I also have trouble thinking on the spot...for a moment I may have something big to say, then in the middle of my sentence is just pops out of my memory.
Oh well...how bored I am now *sighs* writing things in here is basically rambling on to myself...but it fills in time.
I'm annoyed by the fact that the hip-hop culture around me has effected how I talk on certain occasions. Sadly, you'll find me saying "yo mang" or "What the fuck, that ain't no (yes, double negative I know..) real shit you be showing"...you know, jibber jabber that makes no real sense...but is nothing compared to the "jive speak" of the 80's. "Slip me five on the down side, flippy flap trigga back and cock a bullet in a cracka barrel"...or something like that. With that crap aside, I can say without a doubt that it pisses me off. My normal talking is altered due to what I hear around me...I'm adapting to the "environment" and I don't like it one bit. I just want to talk normally...my voice, not that of another...hell even some of my movements mimick the "gangstas".
Humans are so confusing...the way they think, what they see when they look at you...it's difficult to understand. Why? How come I can't read people like others can? Irritating, yes...but I just want to know their thoughts. Someone has a blindfold on me to every human around my eyes...though, it's somewhat see through. A vail...I don't know, I can still see people...their personalities but what they think...how they'll act...I can't see any of that. I guess in a fight that wouldn't be too good...predicting moves and such, heh...oh well, I'm not the violent kind anyway.
I may be crazy...who knows...pains in my back, though I believe them to be wings ready to sprout...what does that lead you to believe? Yeah, I'm crazy enough to think I'm an Angel...sorta on vacation, waiting to go back on an adventure...arrogant, head-strong but a good guy none the less...a typical hero. I don't see too much in the future...all haze, going at life in college will be tough...and then having a job...day after day same thing constantly....then again Summer is just like that. Sleep till noon, wake up, play a game maybe...surf the web...eat then sleep...rinse and repeat. Maybe adventure is limmited aswell...but when you think like that all the good things in your mind just get muggy...something bad to look at. Don't focus on the negative things but look to the positive...that's what makes me different from people. Everyone has their problems yet I feel good since I lack any bad things to deal with...who knows, I might be lucky. ^_^;
Ah yes, politics...why do I even throw this in here? Everyone has their own opinion...my Dad is strong with this, he'd pwn anyone who tried to get in his way...I'm merely a newcomer, listening to his ideas and such. I'm not even going to say anything...I can't argue on this topic so bleh on all of it...
Religion, hm...I'm not Christian but my views have been said to be similar to the religion. I believe in but don't necessarily worship a higher power...who in this case is "God" or "Jeff" (my shortened version of Jehova). I believe I was once serving as a high ranking angel, descendant of the one who helped send Lucifer down into Hell during his uproar. I believe Earth is a test for each soul, to see if they're worthy to be in Heaven (some huge problem a billion or so years back in Heaven with living creations he made in Heaven...or "souls" if you will...he gave them a sort of different personality, choices and so on that could be made...this was chaos in Heaven so to test which souls actually needed to belong here, an experiment was made...aka Life, in which the souls embodied a timed corpse that would eventually give up, die and allow the soul to come forth for it's judgement after death...anyways...Earth was just a test for God's creating skills around this time) and so on. Depending on how they lived their lives, they would either go into Heaven, enter reincarnation or go to Hell. Reincarnation is presented to those who have potential to change in the next life...even a psychotic serial killer could have a chance being good the next time. As for those who are too dark to change or are from other "dimensions" (universes not created by God...) who happen to be evil and tearing crap up over here...they go to Hell. Beings from other dimensions can't enter reincarnation, so they're either good or bad...God can't govern things he didn't create...so even he's limited.
Fantasy world, yes? I know, it seems like some big old fantasy story but then again, maybe I'm crazy or a boy trapped in his imagination. Maybe I tossed aside the "reality" of religion when my mother died. May 15th, this upcoming monday...on 5:00 AM...3 years ago she passed away from lung cancer. I didn't see her till 8:00 AM...3 hours later, everyone else was there...not I. I can say I miss her, but I also have this second belief...maybe I took it too seriously when she said she'd be in my heart always...I don't know, I feel like I'm half her and half me. When she died I started liking things I never took interest in before...all out of the blue, no other influences...every song or band mom liked...even ones I never heard before started sounding great. The thing about Mom was is that she wasn't limited to the 70s, 80's music...no, she adapted with the current music...she wasn't much for hip-hop but she did listen to many of "today's" music (I say it in quotations as in the the time she was alive...if she was alive right now, she'd be listening to 2006 music).
A second attribute is my emotions. I had none basically...or so a lot of people thought. I only started developing them in the later parts of my Mom's suffering...and then when she died, all these new feelings showed up. It wasn't the grief that was new...either way, when these started up I just sort of learned to adapt to them on my own...everything I have learned on my own, my own morals...beliefs. I'm a better person because of it...I won't stab you in the back, or anything bad. Things people have to learn from others a thousand times I just took a hold of myself in my own isolation...heh, oh well ^_^; I could talk about the other emotion I developed...persuit for romance, but that's boring and since Adam's the only who reads this thing that's kinda sappy here X_X;
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Alright, those lines got your attention...I'm sure by now you skipped a lot of what I read if you actually are reading this...but oh well, I gotta go...crap to do tommorow X_X;
Checko Out!
Oh well...how bored I am now *sighs* writing things in here is basically rambling on to myself...but it fills in time.
I'm annoyed by the fact that the hip-hop culture around me has effected how I talk on certain occasions. Sadly, you'll find me saying "yo mang" or "What the fuck, that ain't no (yes, double negative I know..) real shit you be showing"...you know, jibber jabber that makes no real sense...but is nothing compared to the "jive speak" of the 80's. "Slip me five on the down side, flippy flap trigga back and cock a bullet in a cracka barrel"...or something like that. With that crap aside, I can say without a doubt that it pisses me off. My normal talking is altered due to what I hear around me...I'm adapting to the "environment" and I don't like it one bit. I just want to talk normally...my voice, not that of another...hell even some of my movements mimick the "gangstas".
Humans are so confusing...the way they think, what they see when they look at you...it's difficult to understand. Why? How come I can't read people like others can? Irritating, yes...but I just want to know their thoughts. Someone has a blindfold on me to every human around my eyes...though, it's somewhat see through. A vail...I don't know, I can still see people...their personalities but what they think...how they'll act...I can't see any of that. I guess in a fight that wouldn't be too good...predicting moves and such, heh...oh well, I'm not the violent kind anyway.
I may be crazy...who knows...pains in my back, though I believe them to be wings ready to sprout...what does that lead you to believe? Yeah, I'm crazy enough to think I'm an Angel...sorta on vacation, waiting to go back on an adventure...arrogant, head-strong but a good guy none the less...a typical hero. I don't see too much in the future...all haze, going at life in college will be tough...and then having a job...day after day same thing constantly....then again Summer is just like that. Sleep till noon, wake up, play a game maybe...surf the web...eat then sleep...rinse and repeat. Maybe adventure is limmited aswell...but when you think like that all the good things in your mind just get muggy...something bad to look at. Don't focus on the negative things but look to the positive...that's what makes me different from people. Everyone has their problems yet I feel good since I lack any bad things to deal with...who knows, I might be lucky. ^_^;
Ah yes, politics...why do I even throw this in here? Everyone has their own opinion...my Dad is strong with this, he'd pwn anyone who tried to get in his way...I'm merely a newcomer, listening to his ideas and such. I'm not even going to say anything...I can't argue on this topic so bleh on all of it...
Religion, hm...I'm not Christian but my views have been said to be similar to the religion. I believe in but don't necessarily worship a higher power...who in this case is "God" or "Jeff" (my shortened version of Jehova). I believe I was once serving as a high ranking angel, descendant of the one who helped send Lucifer down into Hell during his uproar. I believe Earth is a test for each soul, to see if they're worthy to be in Heaven (some huge problem a billion or so years back in Heaven with living creations he made in Heaven...or "souls" if you will...he gave them a sort of different personality, choices and so on that could be made...this was chaos in Heaven so to test which souls actually needed to belong here, an experiment was made...aka Life, in which the souls embodied a timed corpse that would eventually give up, die and allow the soul to come forth for it's judgement after death...anyways...Earth was just a test for God's creating skills around this time) and so on. Depending on how they lived their lives, they would either go into Heaven, enter reincarnation or go to Hell. Reincarnation is presented to those who have potential to change in the next life...even a psychotic serial killer could have a chance being good the next time. As for those who are too dark to change or are from other "dimensions" (universes not created by God...) who happen to be evil and tearing crap up over here...they go to Hell. Beings from other dimensions can't enter reincarnation, so they're either good or bad...God can't govern things he didn't create...so even he's limited.
Fantasy world, yes? I know, it seems like some big old fantasy story but then again, maybe I'm crazy or a boy trapped in his imagination. Maybe I tossed aside the "reality" of religion when my mother died. May 15th, this upcoming monday...on 5:00 AM...3 years ago she passed away from lung cancer. I didn't see her till 8:00 AM...3 hours later, everyone else was there...not I. I can say I miss her, but I also have this second belief...maybe I took it too seriously when she said she'd be in my heart always...I don't know, I feel like I'm half her and half me. When she died I started liking things I never took interest in before...all out of the blue, no other influences...every song or band mom liked...even ones I never heard before started sounding great. The thing about Mom was is that she wasn't limited to the 70s, 80's music...no, she adapted with the current music...she wasn't much for hip-hop but she did listen to many of "today's" music (I say it in quotations as in the the time she was alive...if she was alive right now, she'd be listening to 2006 music).
A second attribute is my emotions. I had none basically...or so a lot of people thought. I only started developing them in the later parts of my Mom's suffering...and then when she died, all these new feelings showed up. It wasn't the grief that was new...either way, when these started up I just sort of learned to adapt to them on my own...everything I have learned on my own, my own morals...beliefs. I'm a better person because of it...I won't stab you in the back, or anything bad. Things people have to learn from others a thousand times I just took a hold of myself in my own isolation...heh, oh well ^_^; I could talk about the other emotion I developed...persuit for romance, but that's boring and since Adam's the only who reads this thing that's kinda sappy here X_X;
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-
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-
-
-
-
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Alright, those lines got your attention...I'm sure by now you skipped a lot of what I read if you actually are reading this...but oh well, I gotta go...crap to do tommorow X_X;
Checko Out!