Lost to Life
Without even realizing it, she’d fallen for him. Strong and handsome with a smile that made her smile, and a laugh that made her laugh, but he was tied to his ideals- even if she told him that she liked him. His rejection had hurt, that much she knew - but she was good at hiding her thoughts, her feelings, and years of practice made it possible. So when he asked, “Are you okay?” she just smiled and nodded, “Of course. Everything’s fine.”
And so she watched him from afar, trying not to seem like she was clinging to him, trying to just be the friend she had been. But soon, it became apparent that he was avoiding her, or perhaps, that was just her jealousy over his social ways kicking in, which she wasn’t sure - but she knew that it hurt. It made her sad to watch him laugh with others, to watch him leave without talking to her. But she had to remain impassive, forever locked to respecting his wishes. Life is a cruel, cruel mistress, and she knew the sting of Her whip.
“What must I do to turn back time? What much I do to make us just friends again?” she asks herself. But Life heard her.
“You can’t,” Life answers, “What’s done is done and now you much lay in the bed you made.”
“I can’t take this heart ache any more, I can’t take the pain of knowing how much I yearn for him and how he’ll never accept me. Why did you do this to me?” she cries, eyes wet and heart heavy.
“Because every heart for all time will carry at least one scar of love rejected, it makes the heart stronger; it makes the mind keener…”
“No…” she cries, “It just makes us hurt, it makes me regret ever telling him, It makes me want to cry, it makes me want to scream, it makes me regret my friendship with him, and that is the one thing I never want to regret… is a friendship…”
“Then be glad you at least have him as a friend.”
“I am… but… I still want to at least experience the closeness that could be there… I want to be the one he comes to for comfort, I want to be the one he wants to hold… To many things I want and friendship never comes close to closing that gap…”
“Then you are just stuck.”
“Seems that way, I suppose I’ll go on crying in silent and smiling a false smile in public… such is my life…”
And so she watched him from afar, trying not to seem like she was clinging to him, trying to just be the friend she had been. But soon, it became apparent that he was avoiding her, or perhaps, that was just her jealousy over his social ways kicking in, which she wasn’t sure - but she knew that it hurt. It made her sad to watch him laugh with others, to watch him leave without talking to her. But she had to remain impassive, forever locked to respecting his wishes. Life is a cruel, cruel mistress, and she knew the sting of Her whip.
“What must I do to turn back time? What much I do to make us just friends again?” she asks herself. But Life heard her.
“You can’t,” Life answers, “What’s done is done and now you much lay in the bed you made.”
“I can’t take this heart ache any more, I can’t take the pain of knowing how much I yearn for him and how he’ll never accept me. Why did you do this to me?” she cries, eyes wet and heart heavy.
“Because every heart for all time will carry at least one scar of love rejected, it makes the heart stronger; it makes the mind keener…”
“No…” she cries, “It just makes us hurt, it makes me regret ever telling him, It makes me want to cry, it makes me want to scream, it makes me regret my friendship with him, and that is the one thing I never want to regret… is a friendship…”
“Then be glad you at least have him as a friend.”
“I am… but… I still want to at least experience the closeness that could be there… I want to be the one he comes to for comfort, I want to be the one he wants to hold… To many things I want and friendship never comes close to closing that gap…”
“Then you are just stuck.”
“Seems that way, I suppose I’ll go on crying in silent and smiling a false smile in public… such is my life…”