original fiction: till the one day when the lady met this fellow

[the_cactusland]

till the one day when the lady met this fellow
Have you ever heard of The Brady Bunch? They were seventeen when their father found out they were sleeping together, lying quietly, betraying everyone’s trust in whispers behind closed doors.
3000 words. PG-13. for worthless_hope at inrevelations.

Comments

[aboutbunnies]

This is great, honey. It's not anything I would have read usually, but because I trust your writing implicitly, I knew you'd do it justice. It's pretty much awesome. I'm so glad Sally and Billy found each other again; I was rooting for them throughout :)

[the_cactusland]

You are pretty much awesome! Thanks a lot for reading. This story is a lot less morbid than the one I wrote before but I figured since it was a Christmas present ;) Thanks dear for reading. It does mean a lot to me.

[the_cactusland]

Thanks a lot for pointing me those typos and for your suggestions. And of course, for the comment in general. Thanks for taking the time to read and leave such good feedback. It's great to read this was smooth since that's a big issue for me. Thank you!

[angela_weber]

Oh wow, this is truly beautiful and so well-done. It's got this really intense fairy-tale-esque feel to it, which seems to be related to the Brady Bunch set-up, but since I hate the Brady Bunch to the extent that even the theme song gives me a migraine you know I have to be REALLY impressed when I say I love the way you used that theme here. ;) You expand on the Americana cliche and make it into something that is your own, and almost as dark as it is beautiful. Sally and Billy really do feel like complex, unique people, and their affection is very palpable, but it's the care you put into the supporting characters--like Aunt Harriet and her proverbs--that makes this story feel so layered and true. I am truly impressed (and more than a little jealous ;))--this is absolutely amazing. You obviously can take anything and make it gorgeous and believable and emotionally resonant. That's such an incredible ability--you should be so proud. Amazing!

[the_cactusland]

You are defititely too kind. Seriously. Wow! I'm speechless. It means so much to me that not only you read this but also liked it. Your comment makes me feel very proud of a story I have never been very sure about - so thank you thank you thank you! I am truly happy to read you enjoyed this, the characters and the story itself. Thank you so much!

[falafel_musings]

Sorry it's taken so long for me to read this. My coursework is still not up-to-date but I needed a breather. I've been feeling very creatively lonely these last few days. It's been dragging me down.

a tragedy is not supposed to be the ending of families made out of patchwork. They had been little but tattered rags before they came together. Life had no right to pull them apart again.

I always love the visceral, sensual quality of your prose. In this piece I was especially impressed with your very natural non-linear exposition. I liked that you just had that very short & stark incesty opening then let the rest of the story flow out in a way that never felt like you were recapping. And even though I'm not a big fan of romance stories, you do write very stiring romance.

[the_cactusland]

Oh, thank you so so so much for you reading this! It truly means the world to me! :D

I feel weird about this story because it doesn't feel like me at all. When I write romance it's always unfulfilled and unresolved and never happy but (blame it on my fandom fucked-up ships ;) ) but it was a Christmas prompt and this person wanted some things so well, I wrote romantic romance. I feel very detached from this story and much more enthusiastic about one I'm close to posting, so it truly means the world to me that you read it and enjoyed it, even when you don't particularly like the genre.

You are so awesome! ;)

I think you should try to write little tiny short stories - just to see how it goes. It can be a creative outlet easy and fun kind of like fic, but more yours, so to speak. It can help you disconnect and kind of stayed connected at the same time with your daily job!

[falafel_musings]

I think you should try to write little tiny short stories - just to see how it goes. It can be a creative outlet easy and fun kind of like fic, but more yours, so to speak. It can help you disconnect and kind of stayed connected at the same time with your daily job!

I'd actually love to do this, but I'm terrible when it comes to short stories. Any creative idea I feel excited about seems to want to be looooong. Novel long. I'd probably have had more writing success if I could turn out a decent short story. They are a much better starting point.

I'll try though. There's a website I've found which I'm going to blog about soon, which might inspire me to write short pieces. But I'm already devoting so much writing time to my novels and the new blog. We'll see I guess.