I've been away
So I'll take this time to update for the noble few livejournal users that may or may not actually read this.
The semester's almost over- we get out on the 14th so huzzah to that!
But recently I've been feeling like my life is sort of spiraling out of control. I've been working really hard this semester- I did really well on all of my midterms, aced many many papers, gone to all of my classes, registered for next semester's classes and now I just feel like I'm completely burned out.
My anxiety level has gone up in the past month for one reason or another and I find that it's preventing me from sleeping at night. I've tried as best as I can to make the "bad thoughts" go away, but the farthest I've been able to get them away from me is my bedside dresser. They always come back in the morning.
I want to live my life without worry, I want to be able to go an entire day without stopping to worry-and I want to be able to stop making lists about things I need to worry about and I want to stop torturing myself with horrible horrible thoughts.
It's also been affecting the way I eat. I think my stomach has shrunk or I finally have an ulcer or something because I feel like I'm never hungry anymore. Ugh... There goes another pound or two.
But I try to focus on the good things in my life that are going on right now. I'm moving out of my dorm in Redwood (aka the projects) and into a suite with my friend Maddy in Pepperwood across the campus.
No more annoying roommate, hopefully! (ohmygodIcan'tstandher...)
I'll be home in two weeks.
Then there's this sort of purgatory with the things I feel good/worried/anxious about.
The speak out in the quad tomorrow with my speech about Open Field Coursing
My portfolio for English (does it have enough pages?!)
My psych class next semester: when and where is it? We still don't know... TBA will be the death of me.
Going to New Mexico with Jay to meet his mom- I'm really excited, actually. I'm more worried about how Jay will be around his mom, though. I was promised spotlighting and spotlighting there will be!
Jay- goodness I like him and it scares me sometimes. I'm afraid of moving in too close, I guess.
So there's a lot going on and I'm surprised my head can even hold it all.
Yesterday Tawny and I tried out for The Vagina Monologues and I got to orgasm over and over again in my audition (if you haven't already, read the script. Eve Ensler is my new love). I'm hoping that we get in, or at least get to be involved with V-Day. We'll find out this week! We also got chocolate vaginas at the end. Yum.
I also cut my hair again and it's short and lovely and my neck is cold again...
Next semester's schedule?
Math
Natural Resoursces (NRPI 105)
Wildlife Conclave/field trip (Colorado- YES...)
Wildlife 111
Women's Studies (Queer Women's Lives)
Psychology (hopefully)
Logic
19 credits...It's an exciting schedule and it means that I'll have more "do nothing time" in the afternoon. Good? Bad?
I need more food from the Co-op. It's better than whole foods, I promise.
I feel like a vignette out of Hold Me.
The semester's almost over- we get out on the 14th so huzzah to that!
But recently I've been feeling like my life is sort of spiraling out of control. I've been working really hard this semester- I did really well on all of my midterms, aced many many papers, gone to all of my classes, registered for next semester's classes and now I just feel like I'm completely burned out.
My anxiety level has gone up in the past month for one reason or another and I find that it's preventing me from sleeping at night. I've tried as best as I can to make the "bad thoughts" go away, but the farthest I've been able to get them away from me is my bedside dresser. They always come back in the morning.
I want to live my life without worry, I want to be able to go an entire day without stopping to worry-and I want to be able to stop making lists about things I need to worry about and I want to stop torturing myself with horrible horrible thoughts.
It's also been affecting the way I eat. I think my stomach has shrunk or I finally have an ulcer or something because I feel like I'm never hungry anymore. Ugh... There goes another pound or two.
But I try to focus on the good things in my life that are going on right now. I'm moving out of my dorm in Redwood (aka the projects) and into a suite with my friend Maddy in Pepperwood across the campus.
No more annoying roommate, hopefully! (ohmygodIcan'tstandher...)
I'll be home in two weeks.
Then there's this sort of purgatory with the things I feel good/worried/anxious about.
The speak out in the quad tomorrow with my speech about Open Field Coursing
My portfolio for English (does it have enough pages?!)
My psych class next semester: when and where is it? We still don't know... TBA will be the death of me.
Going to New Mexico with Jay to meet his mom- I'm really excited, actually. I'm more worried about how Jay will be around his mom, though. I was promised spotlighting and spotlighting there will be!
Jay- goodness I like him and it scares me sometimes. I'm afraid of moving in too close, I guess.
So there's a lot going on and I'm surprised my head can even hold it all.
Yesterday Tawny and I tried out for The Vagina Monologues and I got to orgasm over and over again in my audition (if you haven't already, read the script. Eve Ensler is my new love). I'm hoping that we get in, or at least get to be involved with V-Day. We'll find out this week! We also got chocolate vaginas at the end. Yum.
I also cut my hair again and it's short and lovely and my neck is cold again...
Next semester's schedule?
Math
Natural Resoursces (NRPI 105)
Wildlife Conclave/field trip (Colorado- YES...)
Wildlife 111
Women's Studies (Queer Women's Lives)
Psychology (hopefully)
Logic
19 credits...It's an exciting schedule and it means that I'll have more "do nothing time" in the afternoon. Good? Bad?
I need more food from the Co-op. It's better than whole foods, I promise.
I feel like a vignette out of Hold Me.