*hand squeeze*
i had a fan-freaking-tastic time last night with joy, cush, ben, kevin, all of my stx kiddos, ryan, and dustin for the brief time that i saw him...heh... i miss all of them soooooooo much. i need to see all of them more often. that's an order!
i miss st x theatre so much. no place will ever compare. it's kind of depressing. that was the place that made me want to keep doing this and after this year i just don't know if i can keep going. i try and try and try and NOTHING is happening. i mean NOTHING. i don't know what's wrong. people keep saying you have to get connections and stuff but the connections i've had haven't paid off and i can't even get into anything to get another connection. i'm so frustrated right now. i just want to dance. that's all. i don't need to speak. i don't even need to sing. i just want to dance in a show. and i thought i was good enough at it to do it. what the f is wrong? is it what i look like? i just don't know...
guess i'll get myself a job that i won't like to help pay for things that will hopefully get me better exposure. i want to start taking honest to god dance classes again. so i can get back to where i used to be...
it looks like it's gonna be a hard road...
blargh.
i wish there was something else that i was even remotely interested in persuing but there's nothing like what i get from performing. maybe i should just get a group together and start doing stuff myself...
ok i'm done. sorry for all the complaining. that's not what this entry was supposed to be about. i had a ridiculously good time with so many of my friends last night. i have no idea where i would be without all of you...each and every one of you. you're beautiful and i love you more than words can say.
love you always
i miss st x theatre so much. no place will ever compare. it's kind of depressing. that was the place that made me want to keep doing this and after this year i just don't know if i can keep going. i try and try and try and NOTHING is happening. i mean NOTHING. i don't know what's wrong. people keep saying you have to get connections and stuff but the connections i've had haven't paid off and i can't even get into anything to get another connection. i'm so frustrated right now. i just want to dance. that's all. i don't need to speak. i don't even need to sing. i just want to dance in a show. and i thought i was good enough at it to do it. what the f is wrong? is it what i look like? i just don't know...
guess i'll get myself a job that i won't like to help pay for things that will hopefully get me better exposure. i want to start taking honest to god dance classes again. so i can get back to where i used to be...
it looks like it's gonna be a hard road...
blargh.
i wish there was something else that i was even remotely interested in persuing but there's nothing like what i get from performing. maybe i should just get a group together and start doing stuff myself...
ok i'm done. sorry for all the complaining. that's not what this entry was supposed to be about. i had a ridiculously good time with so many of my friends last night. i have no idea where i would be without all of you...each and every one of you. you're beautiful and i love you more than words can say.
love you always