(no subject)
Ben: Derrr, look at me, I'm *insert my name here*, I'm retahdedth.
Me: Aww, no, your name is Ben. But since you're retarded, I understand how you could get confused.
Everybody does commercial/television-related rants, so I've tried to steer clear of that genre because I'm not as funny when I write about that stuff since my emotions get in the way. But god damn, some of this shit is just plain annoying, and I MUST comment on it.
Britney Spears' Perfume
Apparently she and Paris are proving that scum can sell more than just their bodies. Unfortunately, Britney has two things working against her: 1.) She is beyond washed out, and 2.) I don't think anyone wants to pay to smell like a slimy, fishy skank. And it being her perfume, I'm led to assume that's what it smells like.
Potato Chip Commercials
I'm not fond of having coronary problems or flab, and as such, I don't eat chips, so maybe that's my first problem with these commercials. Nonetheless, I can't figure out what sort of technique is being used when they have actors sit in front of the camera, CHOMPING on the fucking chips. Dude, seriously. For example, I'll be sitting at my computer, innocently typing away, when all of a sudden: *CHOMP* *CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH* *SUCKLE LICK LICK*
That's supposed to compel me to buy them? By making my skin crawl when I hear that sound pulsating from my t.v.? I understand that some people have odd fetishes and get off to this, but MOST OF US DON'T, OK?
Speaking Through Melody Commercials
I still don't know what these commercials are for. Two American Idol rejects face in different directions and communicate to each other by singing. No one talks like that. It's not artistic. It's not funny. Really, I'm just at a loss for words because it's so god damned stupid. The tone, the atmosphere, the irrelevant message... a swing and a miss.
Me: Aww, no, your name is Ben. But since you're retarded, I understand how you could get confused.
Everybody does commercial/television-related rants, so I've tried to steer clear of that genre because I'm not as funny when I write about that stuff since my emotions get in the way. But god damn, some of this shit is just plain annoying, and I MUST comment on it.
Britney Spears' Perfume
Apparently she and Paris are proving that scum can sell more than just their bodies. Unfortunately, Britney has two things working against her: 1.) She is beyond washed out, and 2.) I don't think anyone wants to pay to smell like a slimy, fishy skank. And it being her perfume, I'm led to assume that's what it smells like.
Potato Chip Commercials
I'm not fond of having coronary problems or flab, and as such, I don't eat chips, so maybe that's my first problem with these commercials. Nonetheless, I can't figure out what sort of technique is being used when they have actors sit in front of the camera, CHOMPING on the fucking chips. Dude, seriously. For example, I'll be sitting at my computer, innocently typing away, when all of a sudden: *CHOMP* *CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH* *SUCKLE LICK LICK*
That's supposed to compel me to buy them? By making my skin crawl when I hear that sound pulsating from my t.v.? I understand that some people have odd fetishes and get off to this, but MOST OF US DON'T, OK?
Speaking Through Melody Commercials
I still don't know what these commercials are for. Two American Idol rejects face in different directions and communicate to each other by singing. No one talks like that. It's not artistic. It's not funny. Really, I'm just at a loss for words because it's so god damned stupid. The tone, the atmosphere, the irrelevant message... a swing and a miss.