Three, Two, One
My writing is anything but stellar. There are so many things I'd like to say, and say them with a thin mask over their meanings. I wish I could explain the fleeting crushes and long-standing feelings, or the out of proportion exaggerations and the to-the-point truths. On Saturday, I spent 4 hours with some people I barely know, and some I used to know like family. I've tried to put a value on what I felt that night, and there wasn't one. My life is almost totally devoid of a social aspect outside of school. I was right when I said I knew they wouldn't talk to me much, but it was more or less being surrounded by these familiar people who became strangers once more. Maybe it was the hugs, or the high fives, or staring blankly into a bonfire with 20 other people that made it worth the time. I need to get out more, but my parents are seemingly suspicious of everyone. I've been watching movies and listening to music that deal with the things in life we take for granted, and the little things we don't take the time to notice. I'm digging out a purpose from all of it. An outline of how I want to be, and who I want to know. I want a companion, to put it simply. Someone to explore with. Someone who can teach me new things and introduce me to their joys, and vice versa. Just someone to be by my side physically. Its alot tougher than I ever thought it would be.