(no subject)
Riley died Monday night around 8:30.
I arrived home right after.
I always said that when this happened that I would completely shut down and as much as I would love to do that, I can't.
I miss him every moment and there is a definite hole in this house and in me, but he was the absolute best creature I could have ever imagined. He is no longer in pain and my mom just kept saying to picture him running and chasing all the deer, squirrel and rabbit that his heart desires. I know I'll never have another dog as perfect as Riley was (in my eyes) and I will forever miss him, but I'm glad he was around when he was and I'm glad that I don't have to watch him suffer anymore.
On another note, it is baffling for me to wrap my head around the notion that some animal of another species can mean so inexplicably much to human beings, but that bond is undoubtedly real and it is perpetually fascinating to me. (luv run on sentenzez) Riley will forever be a part of me as all dogs are to their owners. Not to say that I don't appreciate cats and other domesticated animals, but the relationship between humans and canines is that of a unique nature. My newly realized goal is to get into research and study this relationship in a social, as well as chemical, nature. At least my aspirations are slightly more reasonable.
My mind is wandering.
I'm really losing it.
Other note: EMDR is crazy and I was starting to feel lighter from it before Monday. Time will tell.
OH AND, I found out that I totally aced the test for City Honors back in 5th grade. My teacher sacked my character reference so that St. Rose wouldn't lose anymore good students. EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT.
But Riley would have still been my beautiful prince. Duh.