(no subject)
Seems like my brain was wired for PTSD.
Neurotically replaying past events over and over and over, remembering anniversary after anniversary for things that should be purged from memory and never being able to fully enjoy what I've been given because I'm so fixed in what was.
I simply want to be done with wishing that I was able to go back to four years ago before I completely fucked everything up.
But, for now I'd settle with not having my boyfriend think my mood and distance has anything to do with him.