Never a Bride-2/?
Author: BlueSuede
Title: Never a Bride
Rating: NC17
Genre: Romance/Humor
Pairings/Characters: primarily Chloe/Oliver
Summary: When a newspaper prints a false engagement announcement for Oliver Queen and Chloe Sullivan, and all their friends are thrilled, Chloe and Oliver decide to stage a fake engagement and breakup to prove to their friends how wrong they are for one another. Because, they will break up, won't they?
Warnings: completely Alternate Universe; also, sexual content and occasional language
First Chapter
Next (Chapter 3)
So sorry for any typos: did not have time to edit, but wanted to go ahead and get the chapter posted. I will try to make corrections later.
-2-
The next morning, Chloe rolled over luxuriously in her bed. For the first time in months, she was allowed to sleep in.
Actually, that wasn't even completely honest. With her job, it had probably been more than a year since she'd slept later than 9, and it was currently…she rolled over to glance at the clock. 8:30 A.M. Her face fell. Was it seriously not in her body to take a moment for herself? Well, her body was just going to have to deal with it. She was going to place an order for room service, have breakfast in bed, and then roll over and sleep for at least three more hours.
She poked her arm out from under the covers and clumsily reached for the phone, but the phone rang just as she was about to pick it up. Frowning sleepily, she fumbled for it and brought it to her ear. "Meh?" she managed to get out, not fully coherent yet.
"Okay, on a scale of 1 to Suicide Watch, how worried should I be?"
Chloe's frown deepened. "Lois? What're you talking about?" she murmured, wriggling deeper under the comforter and closing her eyes again.
"Oh God. You haven't seen it, yet, have you?"
"Seen what, Lo? Make sense, would you?"
"Chloe, I'm gonna need you to pull out your laptop, and google your name. And try not to cry, okay?"
"Lois, what is this about?" Chloe sighed, unwillingly dragging herself from the bed and over to the desk, stretching the telephone cord as she went.
"Just…do it. Get it over with."
Eyebrow raised in suspicion, Chloe picked up her laptop, momentarily getting tangled in the phone call as she tried to make her way back to bed and pull up the internet at the same time. "Google my name?" she asked, sitting down.
"Uh huh." Lois sounded poised for flight, which made Chloe even more nervous.
"How worried should I be?" she asked, typing 'Chloe Sullivan' into the search engine.
"You know how Dinah decided to save money by hiring a cheaper photographer than she'd originally intended?"
"So she could afford the centerpieces? Yeah," Chloe said, her hand hovering over the mouse in confusion.
"Well, maybe she shouldn't have economized."
"Lo, you're talking in riddles."
"Just hit the search, Chloe. Seriously. You don't want to find out from someone else."
Hoping she wasn't going to find out that they'd hired an ex-convict to photograph the wedding, Chloe hit 'search.' And then, to her horror, she watched as picture after picture filled the computer screen of her in a chair, with Oliver Queen putting the garter on her.
"Oh. My. God."
"I know."
"Oh my God."
"I know."
"OH MY GOD!" Chloe shrieked.
"I know," Lois sighed.
"Can we sue? I'm going to sue him! That's-I'll-I'm going to sue Queen while I'm at it. They're both going down. Oh my God, how will I show my face at work?"
"I mean…" Lois searched for a way to calm her down and came up short, "at least it's a flattering photo?"
"Flattering? Lois, I have Oliver Queen's hands up my skirt!"
"Well…there's that."
"Yeah," Chloe said manically, her voice two octaves too high.
"But, I mean, you look really fantastic in that dress, and your hair is awesome."
"Oh, good," Chloe said sarcastically, her voice still high pitched, "as long as my hair is okay. Oh my God," she dropped her face to her hands. "I'm going to have to do so much damage control."
"You know what? You should have Queen's people take care of it."
"What?"
"Call him up and ask him to do something about it. I mean, when you consider, his people probably have way more experience with this kind of thing than yours do."
"Ohmygod," Chloe groaned into her hands.
"And as a matter of fact, I'm going to go look into that photographer's contract right now. He'll get his, Chloe. I'm sure Dinah stipulated the importance of discretion, given the big names who were going to be at this wedding. We'll get justice, Chlo. I promise. It will all be okay. In the meantime, you just call Queen and hang in there."
"Lo," Chloe whined, "please don't make me call that neanderthal. I'm begging you."
"Really? I thought you two hit it off. You looked awfully cozy last night."
"Ugh, Lois, he's odious."
"Really? What a downer. I have to admit, the two of you make a gorgeous pair. I'm sure it's just hangover and bad media talking. Give the guy a chance. I'm sure he'll be leaping to your rescue to make this whole thing disappear."
Chloe sighed, disgruntled. "Fine."
"Good girl."
"You're not going to call Dinah, are you?"
"And ruin her honeymoon because her photographer went rogue? Absolutely not. I'll handle the whole situation and she'll come home to find out the albums and videos were all on the house. It'll be fine."
"You're right," Chloe said, trying to convince herself it was true. "I'll call Queen and ask him if there's anything he can do."
"And I'll deal with the rat."
"Good." She took a deep breath. "I'll swing by your room in an hour?"
"Sounds good."
Chloe hung up the phone, then sat on her bed in silence for a minute. She dropped her face to the mattress. "I don't wanna," she whined to her pillow. Experiences like this should not be allowed to happen prior to coffee.
Trying to delay the moment as long as possible, she picked up her cell phone from the bedside table to check for messages. It turned out to be a mistake. Her cell phone had exploded with texts and voice mails. How were this many people even awake already? All just to witness her disgrace. She sniffed self-pityingly before reaching for the room phone again.
"Atlantis Hotel, how may I help you this morning, Miss Sullivan?"
"Can you-um-" Suddenly Chloe flushed with embarrassment. What if the concierge had seen the pictures? And now Chloe was asking for Oliver's room number. It was too much. She couldn't take any further humiliation, even on this scale. "Um, never mind. I'm sorry to have bothered you."
"Are you sure, Miss Sullivan?"
"Oh yes," Chloe said sourly, ashamed of her weakness. She hung up and dialed Lois again.
"Yo."
"Lois, can you call the concierge for me and get Queen's room number for me?"
Lois laughed at her. "Yeah, sure, cuz."
Minutes later, Lois had given Chloe the room number, but she hadn't made dialing it feel any more appealing.
"The longer you wait," Chloe told herself firmly, "the longer those pictures are out there unsupervised." She bolstered herself up. "Right," she said through clenched teeth. "Just do it." She punched in the four digits and after several rings, Oliver answered.
"Jeez, do you know what time it is?" he asked.
"Trust me, I do."
There was a pause, and Chloe assumed his brain was matching her voice to her face. Then, "Sullivan?"
"Uh huh."
"Hunh." Another pause. "You know, normally the guy calls, but I'm okay with this, too."
"Excuse me?"
"Frankly, I really didn't think you were interested, but given that you couldn't wait-"
"Please stop wherever you were going with that grotesque thought right now."
"What?"
"Queen, I am not 'calling you' because I'm interested-which, by the way, I'm not even remotely interested-I'm calling because I need your help."
"Seriously? At-" he paused, craning around to check his clock, "9:00 in the morning? What, did you bring someone home last night that you need to get rid of?"
"I did not!" she replied, shocked and offended.
"That's good, because I can't imagine why I would be your first call for that. I mean, that would make a pretty sad statement about your friendships-"
"Could you please shut up for a second?"
"Probably not, but I'll try."
"I'm calling because the wedding photographer went rogue and sold pictures from last night. They're plastered all over the internet."
That seemed to catch his attention. "Do Dinah and AC know?"
She had to give him credit for thinking of them first. "No. Lois is looking into the photographer, and we're going to try to keep it from the Currys, at least until after the honeymoon. We don't want them to worry about it."
"So why are you calling me?"
"Because there are pictures of you."
"They can't be that bad. I behaved myself last night."
She rolled her eyes. "It doesn't look like you did."
Suddenly there was a very long pause on the other end. "Wait a second."
"What?"
"It's occurred to me: Why do you care?"
"What?"
"Why do you care?" he repeated, and Chloe was furious to note the slightest note of glee in his voice.
"I just…" she stammered for a moment.
"Well, you know," Oliver continued, cutting her off, "I don't think I'll really bother doing anything."
"What?" Chloe asked, panicking.
"I mean, I've been caught up with the media loads of times. It's more trouble than it's worth. Whatever they got this time will blow over eventually like everything else."
"B-blow over?"
"Sure, in a few months, maybe a year. Two at the most."
"WHAT?"
"Of course," he went on slyly, "if you had some personal investment in getting this cleared up…."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Admit it. You're in these photos they've got."
"I was never trying to hide it!"
"You certainly didn't offer the information up."
"You didn't give me the chance. You like the sound of your own voice too much."
But there was no answer on the other end.
"What are you doing?"
"Looking up these photos of yours."
"Ours," she growled, bracing herself. She waited until she heard him burst out laughing on the other end.
"Oh wow, those are gorgeous. Very flattering of you, I might add. I can't imagine why you're so fussed about them."
"Queen," Chloe said through gritted teeth, "just please tell me you'll do something to get rid of them. Please."
"Oh all right then, you spoil sport. But don't think I won't order prints for myself!"
"Oooh!" Chloe ground out, furiously hanging up on him. She couldn't imagine a worse morning.
Trying not to think any more about those damned photos or Oliver Queen, who was undoubtedly still laughing at her in his room, Chloe gathered up some clothes to put on before making her way to Lois's room. There, she waited several hours while Lois berated various people on the phone, eventually calling her own as well as AC's lawyer.
"Good," she said at last with a weary sigh. "I'm so glad to hear that. And you will please wait to inform the Currys until they've returned from their honeymoon?" She paused, waiting for a clarified response on this matter. Relief washed over her face. "Thank you so much. I know it's atypical procedures, but I really appreciate it, and they will, too."
She hung up and looked over at Chloe, who looked somewhat redeemed now that she had had a second cup of coffee. "Well?" she asked.
"Queen's taking care of it," Chloe said, with no small resentfulness in her voice.
"That's so sweet of him."
"Sweet?" Chloe repeated incredulously.
"Well, he doesn't have to do anything, and it's not like any of it's his fault. It's very nice of him to put it on his dime."
"If you say so," Chloe crossed her arms, looking disgruntled.
Lois just looked at the photos on her computer again. "I mean, you've got to admit: the two of you make a good-looking couple."
"UGH!
Next (Chapter 3)