Josh
I wish I had never had to let him go.
I hate how happy he is being in someone else's arms.
Why didn't he fight for me?
All he ever said was he didn't know what to say.
He said he loved me, but he couldn't find the words to make me stay.
I think of him probably 56415684531684351 times a day, and dream of him nearly every night.
It's hard to concentrate on the days after I've dreamed about him the night before.
Then something comes up at work to make it worse, because a patient had the same last name and came from the same state as his family.
I hate how I can't tell him how I feel without him running back and telling on me to his boyfriend.
I hate I'm pretty sure he had me on three way the night we got everything out on the table for an hour, but have no proof, just a hunch.
I hate how he has made everyone believe I'm a psychotic stalker because I wrote him a letter and personally delivered it on a single occasion to his work.
I hate how I don't hate him, not even a little, not even at all.
I hate how he's moving away, it tears me in half.
I hate how I can't really express how I feel without it being a problem.
That's always been a problem.
There Stuart goes, having emotions again.
God forbid I have a heart, God forbid it be a little broken.
I never wanted to let him go, but I had to.
He didn't give me a choice.
I hate that I can't get him out of my head, and how miserable I am thinking about him.
I hate how happy he is being in someone else's arms.
Why didn't he fight for me?
All he ever said was he didn't know what to say.
He said he loved me, but he couldn't find the words to make me stay.
I think of him probably 56415684531684351 times a day, and dream of him nearly every night.
It's hard to concentrate on the days after I've dreamed about him the night before.
Then something comes up at work to make it worse, because a patient had the same last name and came from the same state as his family.
I hate how I can't tell him how I feel without him running back and telling on me to his boyfriend.
I hate I'm pretty sure he had me on three way the night we got everything out on the table for an hour, but have no proof, just a hunch.
I hate how he has made everyone believe I'm a psychotic stalker because I wrote him a letter and personally delivered it on a single occasion to his work.
I hate how I don't hate him, not even a little, not even at all.
I hate how he's moving away, it tears me in half.
I hate how I can't really express how I feel without it being a problem.
That's always been a problem.
There Stuart goes, having emotions again.
God forbid I have a heart, God forbid it be a little broken.
I never wanted to let him go, but I had to.
He didn't give me a choice.
I hate that I can't get him out of my head, and how miserable I am thinking about him.