she'll sleep for hours...to keep...awake.

[the_bled_]

So my holloween night is now free. Obviously i'm not spending it with who i was supposed to spend it with. How can one person make you feel like such shit, and make you hurt so fucking bad inside without even so much as trying...or like lifting a finger, just by speaking to them on the phone. I'm ok when she doesent call. I dont need her...i mean i Dont need her. I need someone who will love me and BE with me..and stay with me...and that i can have a good relationship with. Someone who i can fucking lay down with and listen to music...and just fucking run my fingers threw her hair and have her be content with me.

she makes me feel like shit.
i wish she wouldent call.
i want to be fucking happy.

then theres this other girl right...that whenever i talk to her-i'm happy. She makes me smile...and feel complete. And i love that. I can be myself with her...and be random and stupid and my normal burnout self. And it doesent seem to bother her.And shes what i think about when i'm sad and depressed, she gives me this hope in life i guess. Made me realise things in life again. That there is some beautiful things left.I just wish...i dont know. Thank you.without you my life would be very very fucking hard right now.

John, i dont know if you still read this. But again, i'm sorry dude you know i love you man.

my neck and my back hurt from band practice. We got a few new things down tonight. it was ill. WE GOT A NEW DRUMMER-----richie, because this kid is SICK on the drums hooooly fuck. yea...so...

i miss you.that wasnt nearly enough time to see you...or have my arms around you.<3

Someone massage my neck please!