(no subject)

[the_blasted_one]

...growing so fucking sick and disgusted from myself that the prospect of ending it all quick becomes again attractive. But I've learned the lesson and will not think of death when meteors fall, instead it's cold planning of what to do if all that I try to do to drag myself out from this mired condition is planned, inspires and enlightens fails at once and no longer could be achieved. And even if it all resolves, I don't want to meaninglessly grow old and wither. I'm not wishing anything, I'll contact if needed.

By the end of the Dragon year I will be either dead or free and living, I shall try hard to hold the promise.