He explained it to her as the rules once, after about the third or fourth time she caught him scribbling a few notes down in that little book. Later on, he even read her a few, but it's the kind of thing Wichita knows now to pry into, and it's not like she worries about him keeping any big secrets from her. He's the first person she's been honest with about a lot of shit. He'll tell her about everything that's important to him in his own time, without her needing to force it out of him. The rules are what kept him alive, back then, and maybe she had a version of her own, too, and just didn't realize it.
She crouches down next to him in front of the fireplace, peering into the flames and squinting before her eyes make out the telltale lines of his handwriting. She's not shocked, not really, but to say it doesn't come as a surprise would be lying. Wordlessly, she slips a hand into his, lacing their fingers together.
"Is this the part where we're supposed to say a few words, or - ?" she murmurs, lips curving into an amused grin.
"I don't know," I say, just watching the notebook burn, squeezing her hand as she slips it into mine. Everything's easier with her close. Everything feels more doable.
She waits to speak until the book starts to curl in onto itself, pages shriveled beyond recognition, her thumb absently running over the back of his hands as they silently watch it burn together.
"You feeling okay?" she asks, glancing over at him. He doesn't seem too beat-up about it, but there's no denying the attachment that had been there.
"I don't know that either," I say, leaning against her shoulder. "I thought...I'd feel better, you know? Better or worse. Right now...I don't know. It' just...feels like nothing. And that's really disappointing."
"Disappointing because you were expecting to feel something either way?" she deduces, switching to a position of sitting with her legs crossed before she takes his hand again, sandwiching it between the both of hers in her lap.
"I get that," she adds, nodding slowly. "Maybe, I don't know, give it a little time?"
"Yeah," I say, nodding. It feels good to have my hand held like that. "Yes. I just...It's the last thing I've got, you know? The last thing survived through all of that. Except you. And I just...I wanted to feel something. I wanted it to count."
"It does count," she insists, still absently thumbing the ridges of his knuckles.
"Plus, you just said it yourself: there's me. And it wouldn't surprise me at all if you've still got every single one of those rules up there," she adds, reaching up with one hand to brush fingertips against his temple.
She leans in too, close enough to tip her forehead in against his, her eyes falling shut for the span of a few heartbeats as she gives his hand a firm squeeze.
"Well, that's where you're wrong, the whole worth part, but we can agree to disagree there," she replies, with an exaggerated sigh - because, personally, she thinks he's worth a hell of a lot - but she follows it up with a grin and a soft peck against his lips.
A kiss like that...it isn't enough. And she knows it. I never get enough of her. I brush a strand of her hair out of the way and then I kiss her properly. I kind of...I miss how she dresses most of the time, but she does look....pretty amazing this month.
"Do you...wnat to go for a walk or something?" There's only so long I can sit staring into a fire.
If there's one thing she's glad she doesn't have to wrestle with, it's the skirts, and luckily, between his wardrobe and the clothes box, everything has been fairly accommodating to her needs.
"Come on," she agrees, getting to her feet and holding out her hand to help him to his, stealing another kiss from him once he's at eye-level. "I could use a change of scenery."
I...would absolutely never say this to Wichita (because we've known each other for a while and I know her...pretty well at this point) but I almost kind of wish she was wearing the big dresses. Because...I think she'd look beautiful. Like, really beautiful.
Not that I'm not appreciative of the breeches.
"We could go across the river? Take advantage of there actually being a river?"
"You know, I heard someone say it's completely frozen over this time of year," she admits, absently swinging their hands as she preserves her grip on his.
"Not that I'm eager to actually walk out into the middle, but I bet it looks pretty cool."
"I learned to skate when I was a kid," I say, starting to walk towards the door with my hand still in hers. "You think there are...like...skates anywhere?"
"I bet we can get some from those people who aren't really there," she considers, unconsciously hunching her shoulders before she reaches through the door, preparing for the burst of cold.
"You want to try?" I ask, and then, without thinking about it, I wrap my arm around her shoulder and draw her in against my side. I figure we'll both stay warmer that way.
She crouches down next to him in front of the fireplace, peering into the flames and squinting before her eyes make out the telltale lines of his handwriting. She's not shocked, not really, but to say it doesn't come as a surprise would be lying. Wordlessly, she slips a hand into his, lacing their fingers together.
"Is this the part where we're supposed to say a few words, or - ?" she murmurs, lips curving into an amused grin.
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"I think we're...better just letting it go."
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"You feeling okay?" she asks, glancing over at him. He doesn't seem too beat-up about it, but there's no denying the attachment that had been there.
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"I get that," she adds, nodding slowly. "Maybe, I don't know, give it a little time?"
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"Plus, you just said it yourself: there's me. And it wouldn't surprise me at all if you've still got every single one of those rules up there," she adds, reaching up with one hand to brush fingertips against his temple.
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"I love you," I say, leaning in again. "I couldn't...I wouldn't...I'd be worth nothing without you."
More and more, I know that.
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"Well, that's where you're wrong, the whole worth part, but we can agree to disagree there," she replies, with an exaggerated sigh - because, personally, she thinks he's worth a hell of a lot - but she follows it up with a grin and a soft peck against his lips.
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"Do you...wnat to go for a walk or something?"
There's only so long I can sit staring into a fire.
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"Come on," she agrees, getting to her feet and holding out her hand to help him to his, stealing another kiss from him once he's at eye-level. "I could use a change of scenery."
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Not that I'm not appreciative of the breeches.
"We could go across the river? Take advantage of there actually being a river?"
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"Not that I'm eager to actually walk out into the middle, but I bet it looks pretty cool."
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"Rentals, even, if not ones for keeps."
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"Can you skate?"
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