lonely christmas eve

[highf]

So here's what you missed on Glee:

Tabula Rasa is currently blanketed in a layer of snow, which apparently happens every year even though it's a tropical island, although this year it seems that the island's transported itself to some weird alternate Victorian universe running on steam. Kurt's adjusted fairly well - ( "I've helped lace a couple of

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[highf]

"It's a useful talent to have in a place like this," I point out, tilting my head from one side to the other. "Not that I think very much gets past the island itself, but honestly, with everything that happens here, whether started by magic or just among its people, sometimes I think that it's the people who know how to blend in who end up being the most fortunate. And of your number, I am certainly not." I duck my head, so as to make it clear that yes, to a degree, I do feel a bit bashful at the fact that I can't hide myself for the life of me. I've got a loud personality. On good days, I embrace it. And on the bad... on the bad, I suppose I lament the fact that loud doesn't always get the message across.

With a soft sigh, I shrug my shoulder. "I can only hope that Rocky Horror goes well. It's... definitely not the type of material I'm most accustomed to. And Frank-N-Furter's being played by someone I'm supposed to take sides against," I add, with a conspiratorial raise of my brow. Not that Grace Violet would ever try to pit me against another person, but I know where my loyalties lie. She's one of those people. "Either way, though, I'm glad for the excuse it gives me to hang out with many esteemed citizens of the island, such as yourself."

[makemaps]

"I guess we'll do our best with it," I say, rolling one shoulder in a shrug. I haven't really been thinking about set-design yet. I guess I'll get onto that when I talk to whoever happens to be in charge. We need to design things.

"Yeah. It'll be fun, I think. Chance to make friends?"

There's something about talking to Kurt that makes me uneasy; everything he says is so well thought out. He's so...neat. I can't even come close to that, even on days I don't feel sick.

[highf]

"Chance to make friends," I agree, idly wondering if I should introduce Craig to a few of the people I already know from the production. Wary though I am of Maxxie in general, after all, the guy's still a positive force and influence, I'm sure. As long as you're not hoping for a date, I'm sure that he's probably one of the best friends to have out there. (Or maybe I'm just easily won over, leading to the rest of my problems with him, but- anyway, there's no use dwelling.) Scripps, too, strikes me as a possibility. He's just about the most pleasant person I've met since landing on the island, doesn't judge, somewhat soft-spoken. Could be good for Craig. "And if everyone in the production happen to be big divas, well, I'll just hang out with the set designer, right here. Have you thought about themes yet? Playing true to the original production? Or maybe the film?"

[makemaps]

"Oh, I'm not the set designer," I say, because that totally makes it sound like I have way more power than I actually do. "There's, like, four of us. So I guess we're going to have to sit down and figure it out? Probably I'll just...end up painting whatever somebody else tells me to paint? And I'll be totally cool with that."

Because, seriously. I don't want to be in charge of any decisions.

[highf]

"Seriously?" I ask, with just a touch of skepticism. Not at his lack of confidence, of course. That, I guess I've learned to expect from Craig, who's definitely not the most egotistical guy around. Not by a long shot. But to hear that he expects to just paint whatever they shove at him? Even that's pushing it. Because here is a guy with so much talent, if not necessarily the bravado to dive head-in, and I just can't help but think that it'd be a terrible waste to just have him pushing colors. (Not that he'd do that badly, either.)

"Okay, four of you means that you should still get some jurisdiction over what's going to be done. I've seen you, Craig, draw these amazing maps just out of nowhere, I've seen you draw me, and... I know, it's not exactly the same as designing a set, but the imagination's there. You could do so much."

[makemaps]

"Yeah, but those are just maps," I say, rolling my shoulders in a shrug. I know what it sounds like, but it's also the truth. "This is, like, it's a set, isn't it? It's important."

I shrug again, and push my hair back from my face. "I just don't want to fuck anything up."

[highf]

I reach out, brushing my hand by his arm. I'm not really the most tactile type of person, I guess, but over the years I spent as a part of New Directions, I've learned that sometimes that speaks volumes more than the verbal barrage I usually hit people over the head with. There's something about it, you know. It's not as easy to lie with an action.

"You wouldn't. You won't," I reiterate, just to make sure I'm getting the point across. "I don't really think there's anything 'just' about your maps, but that you care so much? Is... kind of proof that you won't screw anything up. You have people to consult to make sure that you're not going too avant-garde, and- have you met Lionel Trane? I'm pretty sure that if anything subpar came within thirty feet of his production, he'd send them walking in the other direction."

[makemaps]

That's enough to make me laugh and I nod, looking down at his hand on my arm for a moment before I look him in the face again.

"You're probably right. I'm pretty sure Lionel'd...like...string me up by my ankles, before he let me do anything terribly fucking wrong."

[highf]

"Exactly. So take some artistic license, you've well deserved it," I remark, a last pat of his shoulder before I cross my arms in thought, hoping that Lionel didn't specifically pick the guy just so that he'd have an entirely obedient pair of hands around. "Just make sure to run things by Lionel first in case he has some entirely arbitrary preference that you couldn't have foreseen in a million years."

Pressing my lips together, I shake my head, gaze dropping a little. "Honestly, I think I've probably got more reason to worry. I keep on wondering if he chose me for the position just because I'm the edgier pick out of the bunch. Shot myself in the foot by talking about how it'd be thinking outside the box at the auditions."

[makemaps]

I smile at him. There's a part of me that, like, wants to rest my head on his shoulder or something because, sometimes, it's just really, really nice having someone who listens.

I raise my eyebrows.

"I think you're going to be great, man. It was totally brave of you to even apply."

[highf]

I wave my hand, even though... honestly, it feels good to have someone believe in me as wholly as Craig seems to. I'm not quite sure why he believes so strongly in me, but I'm kind of loath to question it. He's a good friend, and someone I'm happy to see around, and- you know what, if he thinks as well of me as I do him, maybe we can both help each other be more confident. Confidence, looking at Rachel Berry and all she's managed to grasp with her own hands, does seem to be pretty key.

"Well," I shrug. "Honestly, the way I figure is just... if you don't try at all, then you're guaranteed to fail. So it's not really even a gamble. More like you've just got nothing to lose."

[makemaps]

"Maybe we both ought to remember that?" I say, settling in closer to him, because, sometimes, there's comfort in being real close to someone.

And, maybe, just for today, everything's going to be alright.