(Untitled)

[haolehothead]

There are moments in Danny's life that he's proud of. There's ones that he's okay with shoving under the carpet, too. The more he thinks about it, the more he thinks that this one right here is gonna be in the latter category

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[sluttylyingliar]

Rachel's ribs still feel like shit on fire but she can at least walk up to the damn compound, now. She's fresh out of the shower, ribs wrapped back up as she toddles to the rec room, ready to flirt her way into a prime couch spot. Well, maybe not flirt. Not with a pregnant belly and a black eye.

But then......then.

"What the fuck is that," she gasps, as horrible things happen. Horrible, gross things.

[haolehothead]

"That," Danny says as he coughs once, twice, and then a third time to try and shake loose the block he seems to have in his throat, "is a beautiful moment," he insists. Zulu perks up in order to look at Rachel when he hears her voice, letting out a pitiful whine and rolling onto his back -- paws twitching in the air as he waits to get pet.

[sluttylyingliar]

Rachel gives the dog a cursory scratch as she leans in a little closer. "You're crying, aren't you? Oh my God. You're crying. At the alien birth."

[haolehothead]

"Look, are you a mother yet? No. Give it nine months and come back and watch this with me then and you will be sobbing your mascara off," Danny guarantees with an assured nod. "Swear to god, Rachel, this is a good movie. I like this movie," he says with a gesture at the screen. "Can you please not ruin it for me? Please?"

[sluttylyingliar]

Rachel throws her hands up and dramatically inches towards the couch. "Zipping. Please, continue your creepy move. I'm silent as the grave."

[haolehothead]

"It is not creepy. Why are you calling my movie creepy?" Danny demands, a wild look to his eyes. "This is a beautiful movie about sacrifice and friendship and that alien just gave birth to a beautiful child. What's so wrong about that?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"I don't think you want me to answer that," she mutters, watching as the clearly, clearly male alien bites it. God, she hopes her baby looks nothing like that. "So, do you feel this strongly about all movies featuring male childbirth?"

[haolehothead]

"I feel very strongly about all movies that involve fatherhood and childbirth," he corrects heatedly without even pausing to breathe. "Why, what's the matter with it? What's the matter with enjoying a movie of this caliber?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"Hey, isn't that the dude from the Parent Tap? Like, the Lindsay Lohan version?" she boggles, not at all getting it. At all. Plus, that alien baby is seriously ugly.

"The things you learn about a person."

[haolehothead]

"Yes, it is," he says, mostly because he's seen that movie about a dozen times thanks to Grace's whims. "What, what is so wrong with this? What is wrong with me liking this movie?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"Absolutely nothing," she lies after a long pause, patting his leg in an attempt to make up for the cringing. "But, is it like, almost over? Am I going to have to watch more alien birthing? By the way, where did that baby come out of?"

[haolehothead]

"He's an alien! What's the matter with you, what does it matter if I like a movie about an alien being born?" Danny demands, giving Rachel a curious look. "What are we doing that's so urgent that we gotta turn the movie off?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"Nothing!" she huffs, throwing her hands up. "Sorry, keep watching. I'll shut up."

[haolehothead]

"No, seriously, are you waiting for me to do something or are you just sitting there to try and make me not-enjoy a movie that I love?" he demands, hauling Zulu up into his lap and ruffling the puppy's ears.

[sluttylyingliar]

"Fine!" she bites out, pushing to her feet, albeit a little slow and ungracefully. "I'll leave! I will just leave you here with your alien baby movie and won't bother you anymore!"

[haolehothead]

Danny gives her a look, about to ask what the hell is her problem, and then he remembers that she's a Rachel and she's pregnant and it all makes sense. "Babe, come here before you flounce off with that mood swing of yours," he pleads, giving her a desperate look. "Please? Please, please?"