(Untitled)

[dancin_maxxie]

The last two months have been hard on Maxxie. In little ways, and in big ways, but nothing that he wants to complain about. He turned into a girl, and that was weird, but it's about the only thing that centers directly on him. (That involved Claire, too, but nothing Maxxie did hurt her by it.) But he fucked a guy he shouldn't have twice, kissed a

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[highf]

Although Kurt may spend a fair amount of his school hours in the auditorium, although Kurt sometimes even sits in the rows to watch his friends on stage, the fact of the matter is that he hasn't really been part of the audience very often in his life. Certainly, he hasn't often been the person who any performance is directed at, simply because he's usually involved somehow instead, a partner, someone who engages, rather than just sits by. A few exceptions immediately come to mind, of course. Finn's dedication at their parents' wedding. Blaine and the Warblers on his 'first' day of school, when he hadn't actually signed up to transfer yet, with the entire room seeming to vibrate to, of all things, a Katy Perry song. Every time, he feels his heart skip a few beats, like he can't keep up, too caught between wanting to join and wanting to step back to watch everything for what it's worth. But even then, this is different.

Probably because it's obvious that a great deal of Maxxie is singing for himself, singing of himself, even as he looks Kurt directly in the eye.

By the time the last note ends, Kurt draws in a quick breath, realizing that he's forgotten to take a fair few during the performance, then smiles, shy, hands raising to offer a polite clap, though no less sincere for being subdued.

"That was really good," Kurt praises with a quick tilt of his head, an awkward laugh under his breath, a slight flush in his cheeks. "For a second, I almost thought you were singing to me rather than at me."

[dancin_maxxie]

Maxxie laughs under his breath as well, less out of awkwardness and more because he's still trying to catch his breath and still his beating heart from the rush. Even if he's not scared of performing, those butterflies hit him all the same. He just thrills with them.

"Thanks," he says. "Kind of the point, so... I'll take it as a good sign." His licks his lips, wanting to seize this chance, to talk to this guy he's been sneaking glances at. But the fact that Kurt's shied away from or ignored even those little signals makes him cautious. Far more cautious than he usually is. It's not a lack of confidence so much as trying to find the right next step.

"I love that song though." Falling back on the old standard, common interests. That never hurt. "You know Company, right? Do you like Sondheim?"

[highf]

The questions themselves... shouldn't even be questions, Kurt thinks to himself, and he allows himself a small roll of his eyes, fond and mostly self-directed, before meeting Maxxie's gaze again. "Do I know Company? Do I like Sondheim? Clearly I must be doing something wrong in that class, because if singing 'Send In The Clowns' isn't enough to speak of my devotion to Sondheim, I don't know what would be." Kurt paused, then tilted his head. "Save for bringing around the worn VHS copy that I have of Anyone Can Whistle, applied well and often when I was a child in need of a little pick-me-up."

With a deep exhale, Kurt falls into another helpless laugh, smiling.

"A very dangerous train of thought to send me hurtling down, as you can see. What about you? Your favorite? If I haven't already scared you off."

[dancin_maxxie]

It probably would scare another person off, but Maxxie feels his smile brighten with every casual mention of a work, a small thrill fluttering in his chest. It's not so bad here, where he's got gay guys as friends, not just hook-ups. But even Marshall's more likely to talk about his version of good cinema before musicals and Alcuin's from a whole other world, just to name a few. Back home, it was Anwar, snoring his way through West Side Story. It's nice, genuinely nice, to have someone react like this.

"Hey, you can sing Sondheim because he's got a song that's good for your voice but not love him," Maxxie points out. "For me though..." He shrugs helplessly with a matching smile. "I gotta love West Side Story. Or if you want real, pure Sondheim, no Bernstein, then it's gotta be Assassins." As he speaks, Maxxie seats himself on the edge of the stage, legs dangling. "Takes more than a little fanboying to scare me off."

[highf]

Gradually having worked his way back to the general seating, Kurt allows his fingertips to graze along the seat backs as he weaves through the chairs, letting his messenger bag slide off of its own weight and draping it over one of the chairs in the front row. He makes no move to sit himself, caught between the temptation to step over to the stage, hop up and sit next to Maxxie, and the impulse to sit himself down in the chair instead, a respectable distance. And one that might hide the way that his cheeks still feel too warm, flushed, excited to be discussing his life's passion, at finding someone with whom it's possible to carry such a conversation.

"I'm pretty sure that, back home, West Side Story was being considered for our school musical, and believe me, what I wouldn't do for the role of Tony," Kurt grins, shrugging his shoulders in a bit of a modest gesture, humbled at the thought, but not caught enough on it to dwell. "But then we switched to Rocky Horror. Which, very obviously, a far cry from Sondheim, though fun in its own right."

[dancin_maxxie]

Kurt walks in a way that Maxxie’s pretty sure he isn’t consciously aware of. There’s something about it that always draws his attention, whenever they’re passing each other or happen to be in the same room. He has a grace to him that is unlike what Maxxie encounters in his world, or even here on the island. Not that it’s otherworldly or something daft like that, but different. He tries very hard to keep his gaze up and not to drift down to the subtle way his hips move. And that’s fine too, because he likes the slight tinge of pink to his skin.

He raises an eyebrow only because Tony wouldn’t be the first role that came to mind when he thought of Kurt, but his attentive smile doesn’t change its nature. Of course Kurt would want the lead. “Aw, man, wicked,” he says. “I would have loved to have done Rocky. Our musical was this utter shit thing that our drama teacher had written. It was..” Maxxie pauses and shakes his head, letting his breath out in a helpless sigh. “Really, really bad. But it was a musical and the only show for the year so… what can you do? I got the lead so I couldn’t complain too loudly.”

[highf]

"At least your drama teacher didn't decide halfway through to insert himself into the musical to impress a lady friend, I'm assuming," Kurt replies with a teasing tilt of his head, though the point itself is a valid one, in his opinion. Mr. Schue has, admittedly, done a great deal to revive the interest in Glee at McKinley High, raising membership enough for them to compete, opening the door to more opportunities. Yet, there are times when Kurt can't help but feel that glee is just a chance for Schue to relive his glory days, too many Journey covers in their programs, too many occasions when Ms. Pillsbury inexplicably ended up in the choir room, as though she had as much experience with show choir as she did with counseling.

(Nonetheless, Kurt reminds himself, there's very little that he wouldn't give up now for the chance to sing with New Directions again. If the school had only tried harder. If the school had a way to be more strict about bullying. If, then.)

Still standing, Kurt rests his weight unevenly on his feet, before he lets momentum take him a few steps forward, until he can lean his back against the stage, glancing up in Maxxie's direction, just a couple of feet away. "You know, we could always put together a performance of Rocky Horror here on Tabula Rasa. If nothing else, you'd make a fantastic Rocky, and we all know that he's the one meant to steal the show."

[dancin_maxxie]

"No," Maxxie concedes with a matching tilt of his head, eyebrows arching as he prepares to counter with his own awkward teacher story. The smile fades somewhat as he remembers, not just what happened to Bruce, but everything that came after it, how it all directly related back to Maxxie. He hasn't stopped to think about it, not really, until now, and the realization hits him like a slap in the face. "He was accused of touching of one his students halfway through and the director's chair went to the vice-principal."

It stops him for a second, leaves him staring blankly at the middle distance between himself and the ground below, but then he shakes his head and tries to brush it off. It's the only way he knows how to cope with Sketch: reassert himself and what he knows. So he turns a teasing smile on Kurt, much more play than heat, for now. "Are you just trying to get me into gold pants?"

[highf]

Any hint of levity disappears at once in Kurt when Maxxie elaborates further, brows raising and words coming to a screeching halt. To Schue's credit, he's never compromised a student in that manner, wouldn't even dream of it (his choices with the women in his life are another story, but what consenting adults do on their own time isn't any of Kurt's business, and he doesn't plan on judging, besides). But it's never been a secret, the reasons behind Sandy Ryerson being fired from his position as glee coach in the first place, rumors of inappropriate touching, of fording as many boys as possible into the club. Something about Maxxie's expression seems to press even further than that, and Kurt ducks his head to get a better look, imploring, eyes wide.

Before he can get a word out, however, that smile flashes across Maxxie's face again, like a sudden peek of sunshine through the blinds, and for a second, Kurt can only blink in the wake of it. "Uh..." he grasps helplessly at words, feeling the flush creep over his cheeks, and when he presses his hand to the back of his neck, it feels unsettlingly warm. Giving up, he laughs under his breath. "I was going to make a remark about tainting the integrity of the show, but somehow, I'm left feeling that you actually hit it on the head with that question right there."

[dancin_maxxie]

There's always a part of Maxxie that feels, maybe weirdly, that he's scored a point when he makes another boy blush in that way. It's a good blush, a good discomfort, not something truly painful but simple embarrassment at having thoughts voiced, thoughts that Maxxie doesn't think should be all that well-hidden in the first place. It's a step towards admission, which is a step towards doing. But they're just steps and small ones at that. A blush doesn't mean anything more than Kurt's noticed him. But, then again, that's more than Maxxie knew going into this conversation.

"Rocky's not like any other show," he agrees. "A hot guy in his underwear is necessary. But what about you? Would you be my Frank? Or a blushing Brad?"

[highf]

Though circumstances have changed, Kurt finding himself on an island where people are much more tolerant on the whole, where being homosexual isn't something which forces him into a stereotype, or forces him into taking this role or that, there's still something which causes him to flinch at the idea of playing Frank. Besides, he knows full well that Mercedes took the role and made it hers, completely and fully, lending it a power that Kurt himself isn't sure he'd be able to match, not in that outfit, not in a play with this type of content, the type that leaves him as the fish out of water.

"Actually... I'm not sure that either Frank or Brad are my cup of tea, honestly," he replies, rocking his head lightly from side to side. "I was Riff Raff in our school's production, and had a lot of fun with it, surprisingly. Eddie wouldn't be a bad second choice, either, but I don't really have the right type of confidence or experience to pull off the lead roles. Not for Rocky."

[dancin_maxxie]

There's a comment waiting to be made expressing his disappointment over Kurt's choice of role. Because who can, with a straight face, flirt with Riff Raff? Magenta doesn't count. In character it would be one thing, but behind the scenes, Maxxie would be too interested in poking at Riff Raff's fake hunchback to sincerely try and get into Kurt's pants. But since he's only just made him blush, Maxxie avoids that train of conversation and goes with.. well, the honest.

"You mean you don't want to strut around in heels and women's underwear?" Maxxie asks, doing his best to look as falsely shocked as possible. It fades into another easy smile as Maxxie shakes his head. "I know what you mean though. There's only so gay I can go. And it just looks like the most uncomfortable costume."

[highf]

Kurt waves his hand dismissively and shakes his head, even as he lets out a small chuckle at Maxxie's expression. "No, no, you misunderstand," he replies with a small tilt of his head. "I'm all for feathers and sequins, I'm all for caring about every last crease ironed into a pair of slacks, I'm all for glitter and pizzazz. Admittedly, being immediately cast as Frank by my glee coach was borderline offensive, though I don't think he ever really realized, but more than anything else, it's the fishnets I don't think I could rock."

Biting down on his lip briefly in embarrassment, knowing that anyone who wants to go into theater would be best served by not having such reservations, he raises an eyebrow. "Same reason I wouldn't be able to play Rocky. It's just a modesty thing. Which isn't to say that you aren't modest," he adds quickly, "but you know, some people are clearly comfortable in their own skin. You seem to be one of them."

[dancin_maxxie]

Though an eyebrow does twitch up when he hears Kurt was cast as Frank like a foregone conclusion -- Yeah, that is almost offensive -- it's not until the other boy reveals his real reservations that Maxxie truly looks surprised. He hides it, mostly, aware that a shocked face is not the most welcoming of sights. But there's disbelief in his gaze as he flicks it quickly over Kurt's body, down and up.

Okay, so, he knows this is probably going to get a blush, no matter how he phrases it, but he can't not. There's a lot of things Maxxie understands about the world, but some things baffle him, too. How a guy like Kurt isn't brimming over with confidence is one of them. "I've got my limits.. and I'll admit there aren't a whole lot of them. But you've got no reason not to be comfortable in your own skin. Not from where I'm sitting."

[highf]

Parting his lips and prepared to engage with whatever drops from Maxxie's lips next, Kurt finds himself at a slight loss with the compliment, all at once closing his mouth again and resting his cheek against his knuckles, shy. The vote of confidence is appreciated, Kurt can't deny that. At the same time, there are certain issues which aren't possible to brush over in a minute, and with all the remarks that have passed by him over the years, names and descriptions innocuously pinned to him that have circled back, this just happens to be one of them. If he's to be honest, it's not just having people assume that he loves the glitter and gold that bothers him (he's aware of how he dresses, after all, and that his ideas are all shaped around that spotlight).

"I recently had another growth spurt, a couple of inches that have definitely helped around school," he says first, so as not to completely discount Maxxie's remark, even as his cheeks flush something fierce. "But if my well-meaning school counselor still referred to me as looking like an eleven-year-old milkmaid, you can imagine what else went through the school. And either way, I never saw the point of playing too far from my comfort zone."

[dancin_maxxie]

"Yeah, but... that's what other people think." Maxxie realizes just how stupid this sounds after he's said it; he bites his bottom lip and huffs out a laugh at his own expense. Of course that's what other people think and of course what they think matters. But that's not the point that Maxxie's actually trying to make.

"What I means is," he says, trying again, "and no offense to your well-meaning school counselor, but do you want.. her or his attention?" He raises an eyebrow, fully expecting a no, because school counselor's are made to be old and weird or female. "Does it matter? Did your boyfriend think you looked like a milkmaid? Or any guys who fancied you?" Maxxie's guessing of course, on the boyfriend count too, but regardless, no guy in his right mind would say something like that when they're trying to get into another boy's pants. Unless there was something very kinky going on. "You're in fine shape and the rest is confidence. So if you don't care what they think around school, then fuck what they think when you're on stage, too. The people who get it will get it."