(Untitled)

[floozyfacade]

It's only a few weeks into the school term and, if Olive were sensible, she'd be studying. Today's a light day, meaning she has plenty of time to do so, if she just buckles down, and it's not like she isn't a focused, disciplined student when she wants to be. Even without these grades contributing to the college applications she won't be writing

Comments

[noonelaughed]

Chris doesn't know what the fuck it is with people an the bookshelf and the magazines or whatever, but this is the second time in less than a month that he's come across someone on the beach reading one. Last time, it was Eduardo, now it's Olive.

Now he's got to wonder if that's what the two of them get up to when they're hanging about, just like... sitting round, reading magazines or whatever.

Still, he plops down on the sand next to Olive anyway, leaning over to get a look at what she's going on about before he says anything.

"No, no, I've done that one," he says.

[floozyfacade]

Olive glances up, eyes wide and expression torn between delight and horror. "Really," she says, and it doesn't come out the question she meant it to be. She's not entirely surprised, after all. Somehow Chris seems likelier to be able to check off half the tips on a Cosmo list than two-thirds of the girls she knows, which has nothing at all to do with the source. "Some of these are terrifying. 'Place your feet on his chest with your legs crossed to create an extrasnug grip' - wh-just, I don't - am, am I supposed to become a pretzel? Are guys turned on by pretzels?"

[noonelaughed]

"Not generally, no," Chris replies, mouth twisting into a frown for a moment. He shrugs. Though, there's probably someone somewhere who gets off on them and has like loads of them about the house and in the cupboards. That's not really what Olive's asking about, though.

"It really just depends on what someone does while they're all pretzely.

[floozyfacade]

Pulling a face, Olive shakes her head. "It's really kind of disturbing that's not something that can just be ruled out," she muses. "But different strokes, I guess. But yeah, I mean, not that a little contortion as a rule is... a bad thing, but I can't imagine that would be, you know, comfortable with the whole..." She wriggles her arms around in front of her, attempting to demonstrate without actually trying to shift into the described position. It just seems like a bad idea in a bikini, really.

[noonelaughed]

"No, that's not it," Chris says and after glancing over at the magazine again, and tries to fold himself into the pretzel-shape. He's seen it done, but he's never had to do it himself-that's not the bloke's bit, after all- and it's definitely more difficult than it looks. He tips over, onto his back in the sand, and for a moment, he's stuck lying there like a turtle that's been turned upside down.

"Okay... alright, so... this isn't it either. Shit."

[floozyfacade]

Olive breaks out laughing, hands pressed briefly to her mouth before she follows suit, lying down on her towel. "No, okay, it says legs crossed, feet on his chest," she says, attempting to replicate that. The trouble is, once she's got her legs up and crossed, she looks like an idiot, she's sure, and she also has no way of knowing if it's right.

Or maybe the trouble is that she's pondering that.

"So basically it's yoga with someone on top of you."

[noonelaughed]

"So wait... like- like this?" Chris says, once he's untangled his limbs and has given it another go. He reckons it's probably easier with someone else there, but somehow he doesn't think that Eduardo would be too happy about him test driving shagging positions with his girlfriend.

"Y'know, this is one of those times I'm really glad I'm not a woman."

[floozyfacade]

With her feet back on the ground, Olive glances over and nods. "Yeah, something like that," she says, rolling onto her side and propping her head on her hand. Not that she knows for sure, because it's not like she has any experience with that particular position, but he looks like a pretzel, so she figures it's probably close. "And on the bright side for women, our physical make up makes it so we don't have to go through the same wait between rounds. Pros and cons to both sides, I think."

[noonelaughed]

"Hey, now that's a generalisation," Chris says, tone all mock indignation at Olive's accusation, "I dunno what Wardo does or... whatever, but that ain't exactly true for everyone, Olive."

He doesn't say whether or not it's true for him, and really, fuck if he even knows now, it's been so long since he's actually had sex at all. Wanking doesn't count.

[floozyfacade]

"Of course it's not true for everyone," Olive says. "Almost nothing's true for everyone. I mean, except, you know, basic facts of biology, like that we're warm-blooded mammals with the same physical systems, but - I mean, you know, that's, how those work changes from person to person and..." She stops abruptly, aware she's babbling about pretty much nothing. "I think it's becomes more true as we get older, really, but then, not like I would know."

[noonelaughed]

“Unless you’ve been like… hangin’ about with old guys,” Chris says, and looks over at her like Olive’s got a secret that she’s been keeping having to do with shagging older blokes who need a full hour to get ready for rounds two.

“You haven’t been hanging about with old guys, have you?”

[floozyfacade]

"What? No," Olive says, pulling a face. "I mean, well, hanging out with in the, you know, normal platonic sense, and Neil isn't that old." She stops a moment, thinking about what she's just said, her head tipping to the side. "Actually, he's no older than Eduardo. 23's not old."

[noonelaughed]

“Yeah, Neil’s not old,” Chris replies, frowning, mostly cause Olive didn’t quite get what he’d been hinting at, “I mean like… old blokes who’d take like… an hour or something in between. Cause you’d probably better tell Wardo about that, yeah?”

He glances over at the magazine, then tries another one of the positions it’s listed, rolling over onto his back to try putting his legs behind his head.

[floozyfacade]

"Ew," Olive says, leaning over to swat at Chris's leg. The weird thing was, if anyone else had said anything like that to her, she probably would have been a hell of a lot more annoyed. From Chris, it seemed a lot more factual than flat out judgmental. "Ew, ew, ew, no. Ew. Okay, first off, no, I wouldn't, I mean, there's - you know, there's older and then there's old. And second, I would never cheat on him. Especially with old dudes. And I never said an hour, I just meant, like, an extra few minutes or something instead of...I don't know, instantaneous."