(Untitled)

Oct 05, 2011 09:39

It's what she sees every morning as she wakes up, without the assistance of any alarm. Somehow, over the past couple of months, she's officially switched to running on island time, but it's a little hard to celebrate that milestone when Annie can't help but feel like she's regressing every time she catches a glimpse of the bracelet dangling from ( Read more... )

annie walker, auggie anderson, erica albright, zhuge liang, anatoly sergievsky, sam flynn, luce, shuya nanahara, eden mccain

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wishesandsmoke October 5 2011, 19:13:23 UTC
It's early morning when Eden heads for the beach. She has class later on in the day, but she has time before that and walks on the beach tend to be soothing for her. These days she needs it, thoughts still roiling on and off with the memory of how it felt to have an ability again. There's an itch under her skin, a craving to go back to all that and to avoid it as strenuously as she can all at once. She doesn't know if she really trusts herself with all that.

The sight of a familiar face provides a welcome break from her thoughts and she smiles as she approaches. "It's okay," she says, catching the aborted motion. "There are no littering laws. No laws, actually."

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farmgrown October 5 2011, 19:34:41 UTC
Annie can't help the laugh that ensues, first at the comment and then at the ridiculousness of her own action, looking down at the bracelet in her hand as she shifts it in her grasp, shoulders hunching forward in a slight shrug.

"So I'm guessing that means no laws against ditching stuff from an ex, right?" she adds, with a wry smile, finally glancing up in Eden's direction as she allows the bracelet to dangle from a few fingertips.

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wishesandsmoke October 5 2011, 20:14:58 UTC
"Oh, no, absolutely none," Eden assures her, coming closer. Briefly she touches her fingers to the back of Annie's arm. "In fact, we thoroughly encourage that around here. And then the island gives us other things to worry us instead. It's a whole cycle." She flashes her a smile, sympathetic, though she's had few exes herself and they rarely left anything to remember them by. If they had, she likes to think she would have been rid of it all long ago, anyway, for the sake of moving on, but she still has the gun that took her life in her house, in the event it might one day need to defend it. "You okay?"

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farmgrown October 5 2011, 20:46:11 UTC
"I am. Or I will be," Annie says, moving her hand slightly to let the far end of the bracelet swing up, looping up in the air before she catches it fully again. It's getting harder to ditch this thing than she originally predicted, and the more she holds onto it, the more difficult it becomes. Still, her reluctance to let go of the past is what's brought her to this point anyway, and she's not sure what holding on to it any longer will ultimately accomplish. "I've just been thinking lately. Wondering if this is the right time for me to finally move on from him."

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wishesandsmoke October 6 2011, 20:31:12 UTC
Having been in so few relationships, none of which were ever especially serious, Eden knows she's probably not the person on the island best equipped to give advice in situations such at these. In the end, though, she suspects it's less to do with experience than an aptitude for understanding people in general. She doesn't know Annie all that well, though. Judging the answer in situation is harder. "What's holding you back?" she asks.

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farmgrown October 7 2011, 10:51:30 UTC
"You'd think I'd know the answer to that by now," Annie admits, a deep frown inserting itself into her facial features, creating a small furrow in her brow and a small downturn at the corners of her mouth. She sighs, forcing her expression to ease slightly, and offers Eden something of an exasperated look. "It's just a lot of history to give up, I guess. A lot of memories. And for me, it's only been a couple months since we were together, but apparently back home, it's been longer than that - during which, surprise surprise, he pulled another disappearing act."

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wishesandsmoke October 7 2011, 22:35:59 UTC
Eden gives her a sympathetic glance, reaching over to rest a hand at her elbow. She wants to say that those aren't always what they seem to be - god knows she's pulled a couple, and that last one was a hell of a trick - but that's hard to explain and she doesn't know the guy in question. "Who says you have to give it up?" she asks. "If you're not ready, you're not ready, and... even if you are, you know, there's... there's a difference between moving on and forgetting."

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farmgrown October 8 2011, 12:10:29 UTC
Annie looks at her in surprise, some of the pieces clicking together in her mind. "You know, I hadn't thought of it that way," she confesses, smiling in gratitude at the words that just seem to make sense as well as the comforting hand - she's always been the type of person who benefits more from reassuring physical contact than a few words of praise, but the combination of the two is serving to lift her from her mood almost instantly. "And I do want to move on. I'm ready. I think it's a good time - for my own sake, at least."

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wishesandsmoke October 8 2011, 14:56:13 UTC
"Good," Eden says warmly. "That's the only person whose sake matters in this. You don't have to get rid of it, just... tuck it away somewhere. Like any piece of jewelry, not a keepsake." She's given up three lives now. If there's one thing she understands at last, it's the process of picking up and moving into the next one. The trouble is, in her life, that's usually been marked by changing cities, even identities. Being here on the island, it's tough to escape the memories, and she thinks maybe she could benefit from listening to herself for a change. "You can keep the memories, just... don't let him keep you from moving forward."

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farmgrown October 9 2011, 13:20:54 UTC
"This is why I needed a female perspective on the situation," Annie tells her. Back home, she'd probably only be able to tell Danielle so much - she knows about Ben to a degree, but she doesn't know either of them are CIA, not to mention Ben was the reason for Annie joining the CIA to begin with. As far as her sister's concerned, he's the guy she's still pining over, and even though she's still holding out on some of the specific details here, it's nice to have another woman to talk to who isn't Danielle (family, and therefore slightly biased) or Joan (who would probably give her that strange look she gives when Annie brings emotion into the workplace). She reaches up to squeeze Eden's wrist in gratitude. "Maybe that's the difference. Remembering isn't necessarily a bad thing."

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wishesandsmoke October 9 2011, 20:42:29 UTC
"It isn't," Eden assures her, then laughs. "Depending on what you're remembering. But seriously, he was a part of your life. It's okay to not want to just drop that." As hard as it is to remember the people she's lost, she'd rather hurt than forget them altogether, after all. It's a slightly different situation for the most part, but the core emotion, she thinks, is the same no matter who's on the receiving end of lost affection. "I'm glad if I can help."

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farmgrown October 11 2011, 01:35:40 UTC
"I guess I don't really have any regrets," Annie confesses, reaching into her pocket to touch the bracelet again, if only by force of unconscious habit. When she really stops to think about it, most of her memories with Ben were the good kind - the very good kind. "I mean, he was someone who cared about me, who still cares - at least, as far as I know. Maybe that was the reason he chose not to stick around. I don't know for sure. But there were definitely more good times than bad, and the good times were very good," she adds, with a knowing smirk.

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wishesandsmoke October 11 2011, 05:32:20 UTC
Eden laughs, nodding. Grigg may not have been the one or anything like that, if those even exist, but she still remembers him fondly and all their good times. It's been a long while since he disappeared and she still misses him, but she misses a lot of people these days. "Oh, well, definitely worth remembering then," she teases. "You know, the main thing, I guess, is... being open to whatever comes next. If he doesn't keep you from that, then what's the harm? Granted, I'm working on that myself, still, so I don't know if I'm one to talk, but..."

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farmgrown October 12 2011, 12:13:45 UTC
"But everyone's got their grieving period, you know?" Her fingers reflexively curl around the bracelet again before she withdraws her hand with a small shrug. "Or maybe not necessarily that, but they know when they're ready, and opening yourself up again to a relationship after one's ended can be something of a growing process. There's nothing wrong with giving yourself some time to process before you're ready to move on with someone else in the literal sense." She ducks her head, chuckling at her own self-analysis. "Maybe I need to process out loud is what."

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wishesandsmoke October 12 2011, 20:07:04 UTC
"It helps," laughs Eden. "Just putting things into words. Or having to tell someone else. My brain is a nightmare, you know, good ideas, good advice for everyone else, but sometimes you just have to hear it said for it to make sense." She's learned a lot, for example, over her years of seeing first Catherine and then Dr. Chase, the process of being made to find words for the things she's felt and experienced helping to break those things down into something she can at least begin to manage.

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farmgrown October 14 2011, 12:53:26 UTC
"You know, if this place actually made money legit, I'd say you should go into this for a living," Annie says. She's weighing the irony of the situation in her own head right now. Usually she's the one offering advice, and more often than not to assets in the field who start to lose their confidence, who don't think they can go through with the mission. "As, I don't know, professional listener. I bet you'd be surprised how many people need only that much."

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